I accuse the crew at Wizbang of copyright infringement. more...

Posted by: Rusty at 03:29 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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I'm aware of the commenting problem and working to fix it. Drop me a line if you need me.

Posted by: Rusty at 03:01 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The votes are in and the 2004 Weblog Awards race is over. Congrats to Ace of Spades Headquarters, the only blog endorsed by me to win. So much for the crucial Rusty Shackleford endorsement.....

I have one bone to pick. I am pretty pissed about NRO's Kerry Spot winning for Best New Blog. Geraghty runs a great internet site, but it's not a blog. A blogger, by definition, doesn't have a boss. He might get paid through advertisements or donations, but he doesn't fill out a W-2. Geraghty is a columnist, Bill Ardolino is a blogger.

Kudos to Kevin Aylward who did his best to vet the process. I guess I'm partially to blame for some of the undeserving nominees making the final cut--I had promised him I'd help with the awards and then sort of cheesed out. Sorry, finals take a lot out of a guy. I had to decide whether to help with the awards or keep blogging. I chose the latter.

In the future, though, let's make sure blog awards go to, you know, bloggers. Not everyone who has a website is a blogger. Not everyone who writes online is a blogger. Bloggers are a community of the unprofessional. We are the pajamahadin. We are media entrepreneurs. We are what democracy looks like. We are the voice of the people.

We need to come up with a better definition for 'blog' and 'blogger'.

Ok, end pontification.

It was enough for me to make the final cut for Best New Blog of 2004. Thanks for the many endorsements--I lost track of them a day or so after the voting began. Shout out to all of you who didn't vote for me as instructed. Some props, too, for the homies who gave me their own awards. For instance, I received an award for Best Blog By A College Professor Who Can't Spell While Live Blogging During A Final Exam (in your face Llama Butchers) and one for Blogger most likely to appear under the headline 'Man Kills 5, Shoots Self' (update: read that one wrong earlier---I'm much happier with this one!!). I gladly accept those awards and thank all the little people that made this great occasion possible.....

Posted by: Rusty at 12:34 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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But her memory will live on.....

Posted by: Rusty at 10:13 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Yes, I went to USC. Yes, I'm happy Matt Leinart got the Heisman. Yes, Matt Leinart has a blog. Thanks Cal Tech girl. 42. That is all.

Posted by: Rusty at 08:11 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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"How do you start a winning blog?" asked the WaPo yesterday. Forget what Bill at INDC says. Jeff G. comes closer, but misses the mark. The key to blogging is this: nipples.

Someone with a blog named Witty Sex Kitten dropped a comment today. What better way to attract attention in the sea of unread blogs than to put the phrase sex kitten in your title? Oh, but make sure that if you do sex kitten schtick you pose as a girl. This is crucial.

Seriously, there's good Witty Sex Kitten Schtick and there's bad Witty Sex Kitten schtick. What's the difference??

Start with the avatar. An avatar is a kind of visual image used to embody a person's online persona. For instance Moxie's boots, Beth's girl at the computer, or Little Miss Atilla's demure hottie.

Good Witty Sex Kitten avatar:

Bad Witty Sex Kitten avatar:

Next if you're going to do schtick like this make sure you post an online picture of yourself. Take a lesson from HAC Amanda Doerty--post a picture of a hot chick and pretend that it's you! Cause there is something trite and boring about another dude discussing the metaphysical assumptions behind affirmative action, but there's something intriguing and interesting about a hot young thang discussing the ontology of gay marriage.

Good Witty Sex Kitten fake pic:

Bad Witty Sex Kitten fake pic:

Last, make sure you know that there may be a big disconnect between the reasons you're blogging and the reasons your readers come back regularly. For instance, Amanda Doerty blogs because 'she' thinks 'she' has something important to say about politics and philosophy. However 'she' is well aware that 'her' consumers come to her blog to flirt with 'her', hence 'her' pic is on every page. Wonkette thinks she is witty, but her consumers read her stuff just waiting for the next anal sex reference. It's kind of like Howard Stern for the crowd living in their mother's basement. Moral of the story: make sure that either your fake pic is plastered on every page or you throw in plenty of reference to back door action. What you write is only tangential to the fantasy you project to your readers.

You know, I think I've learned something here today.......From this day, henceforth and forever, we shall be known as the Hot Lesbo Star Wars Report!! and I shall be known as Princess Brittney Spears. Here is my pic. I'm on the left. Toodles.

Posted by: Rusty at 06:29 PM | Comments (29) | Add Comment
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Because I got to do something before the office party tonight! Seriously, tonight is the office Christmas shin-dig. In the spirit of Office Space, here is the fourth verse of Damn it feels good to be a gangsta by the Geto Boys:

And now, a word from the President!
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Gettin voted into the White House
Everything lookin good to the people of the world
But the Mafia family is my boss
So every now and then I owe a favor gettin' down
like lettin' a big drug shipment through
And send 'em to the poor community
So we can bust you know who
So voters of the world keep supportin' me
And I promise to take you very far
Other leaders better not upset me
Or I'll send a million troops to die at war
To all you Republicans, that helped me win
I sincerely like to thank you
Cuz now I got the world swingin' from my nuts
And damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Posted by: Rusty at 05:08 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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One day, 28 posts. Screw you guys I'm going home!!

Posted by: Rusty at 05:29 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Just kidding. I will never post about cats. Never. Neither would Cindy of Immortal Rants. She would however blog about boobs. In particular Bored Housewive's boobs. Me? In my mind you've seen one pair you've seen em all. Does that make me gay?

Posted by: Rusty at 05:04 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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...evidence here.

Posted by: Rusty at 03:59 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Several months ago CBS listed the top bloggers as Wonkette, Kos, and Andrew Sullivan. Let's just say this came as no surprise then. As Ace puts it, "It just so happens that [CBS] only want to quote liberals, talk to liberals, ask questions of liberals, and give press to liberals."

And if any one from CBS happens to come upon this site you should know that I'm anti-war. Very anti-war. Bush=Hitler, Cheney Halliburton, No Blood for Oil....

Posted by: Rusty at 02:54 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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...is getting boring. I saw the new Snoop video this morning, so that is what got me on the kick. There's just something intrinsically funny about a middle-class suburbanite balding white guy getting into harcore gangsta rap. One of my favorite movies of all times is Office Space and there's nothing funnier than the contrast between the soundtrack and the subject matter. Haven't seen it? Go rent it now!

Posted by: Rusty at 01:55 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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...to pop a cap in yo' punk ass! Damn, the holidays are hectic.

Posted by: Rusty at 01:38 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...on strike!

Posted by: Rusty at 01:02 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Superhawk and Ace have the fashizzle! You mean Macktastick Rusty can't carry his Glock 9 in the GWN?

Posted by: Rusty at 10:50 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Sortapundit's sorta-brother sorta has a new blog. Shout out to a new homie in the house.

Posted by: Rusty at 10:41 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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If it hasn't become apparent to everyone who is a regular here, my blogging spirits have been down as of late. First the drop in the ecosystem--plummet is a better word to use. Second, sitmeter is down. Third, I haven't had any time to read other blogs in almost a week.

So, in my ongoing effort to have more fun while engaging in what has become an obsession, I'm going to do some serious link dropping today? Why? Because I'm West Coast, biyatches, and the Crips hang their colors on the left side.

Link dropping is so Old School, for-nizzle.

Posted by: Rusty at 10:28 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Go here. Enter the My Pet Jawa URL for a whole new experience, biyatches!! (Pimp hat tip: Dr. Stotch)

So this post becomes:

Now THIS Is What da Internet Was Made For!
by Demosophist

If's like vandalism, without a victim, know what I'm sayin'?

(Practical Hint: If yo' ass want pop a bunch at one time, hold down da shift key 'n drag da mouse pointer n' shit. Alternatively, just check da "Manic Mode!" box n' shit. )

Posted by: Rusty at 01:55 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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For the past week I have been running tributes to the forgotten Americans being held hostage in Iraq. Some members of one of the hostages' immediate family have contacted me. They are afraid that overpublicizing their loved ones' plight could hurt his chances for release. Out of respect of the family I have taken down several posts. If you read the posts previously, I ask that you keep continuee to keep him in your prayers.

Posted by: Rusty at 12:06 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Here is a classic from the archives. Enjoy.

Ok, so I've been doing some thinking....not a lot, just some. It seems we can now safely divide our enemies into two camps.

First, you got the jawas. See, these guys don't really like us but don't mind making a buck selling us an R2 unit or oil or whatever. It doesn't matter to them if your part of the Imperial powers that be or a member of the Empire hating Rebel Alliance, as far as they are concerned you are just another colonist that a buck can be made from. more...

Posted by: Rusty at 04:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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