March 30, 2006

There is no God but Allah...

...and Michelle Malkin is his prophet. Do I get that fatwa now?

Posted by: Rusty at 11:23 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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March 29, 2006

Our Condolences

To Glenn Reynolds on the loss of his grandmother.

Posted by: Rusty at 01:04 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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WTW Apostate Howie

Yes I’ve been you know a bit bored with being Baptist and I’ve been looking for a “Death Cult” to join you know mid life crisis. I’ve been seeking danger and generally missing being young and stupid. So I tried the Satanists but they wanted me to strangle a live kitten to gain power and hey man I just won’t go there. So after hearing all the cool stuff about Islam, I thought, hey next best thing. I mean you can rip off, screw over, lie to, and blow up infidels whenever things don’t all go just your way. It’s so much more fun than pesky Christianity. You know all that admit it’s your fault, no sin, and treat people well stuff. It’s hard. Plus add to the fact I can abdicate my responsibility for my wife and children with just three words! Rape hot Infidel women with impunity. So I decided to convert to Islam.

Here Goes, the following events occurred yesterday at the Tatooine Bureau between 8 am and 9 amÂ…. more...

Posted by: Howie at 09:05 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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March 28, 2006

Will Blog for Food--Is it time to leave academia? (UPDATED)

Scroll down for updates.

I'm pretty depressed about not getting that job. It was my dream job. So, I'm starting to think about leaving academia. Apparently I'm a much better blogger than I am a teacher or academic. The only other skill I have is lover, but I'm afraid Mrs. Shackleford put an end to pimping my favors out long ago.

So, that leaves me with blogging. If there is anybody out there that needs a semi-famous anonymous blogger to write for whatever cause they're into, I'm willing to do it. Cheap. And by famous, I mean in the professional bowling sense of the word. You know, medium sized fish in very small and obscure pond. Call me a whore, but I need the money and I'm sick and tired of dealing with barely literate students with inflated senses of entitlement. more...

Posted by: Rusty at 08:25 AM | Comments (48) | Add Comment
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March 27, 2006

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest - Play Matlock Edition

Yes play any roll in the courtroom other than Phil. Judge, Prosecutor, Juror, Happless Defense Lawyer. You get it and no Andy Griffith required just but it may help with the judge. It also means that at least one person will post as Phil himself.

I'll start us off with this :

I may be a killer but just look at me, I'm Crazy Man!
May the force be with you! Wait a minute, I broke my own rule dag nabbit.

Fatwa issued against : Yo for :

"It only get's like this when I'm guilty."
Fatwa also issued against Greame, who we would like to have in America, for blantantly attempting to please the blogger(judge) and coming up with this :
Yes your honour, my client did kill, but a man has a limited tolerance when it comes to people blowing on his head and then yelling: "What kind of lame a** dandelion is this?"" Just at that moment, Matlock touched his frying pan and was shocked by his malfunctioning electric stove. Elsewhere at that same moment, a frustrated James Brown was pretending to be asleep as fellow passenger Howie continued to talk: "Yeah, I like Motown music, but what I really love are nipples!"
Honorable mention to Vinnie who can't win because he's a co-blogger for :
"The Dread Pundit Bluto, with hair."
Fatwa issued against Dr. Rusty Shackleford for not playing.

And last but not least Venom because Vinne is scared of him and it's some sort of tradition :

"So, if I go to jail, will my Pr0pecia prescription continue to be filled? Bummer"
Several others were good too but I have to be strong and pick. I hate that. more...

Posted by: Howie at 01:22 PM | Comments (29) | Add Comment
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Bad News

I didn't get that job I interviewed for and I still haven't got my fatwa. However, I did finally get my free copy of the Quran from C.A.I.R. Desecrating it would probably both cheer me up and get me that fatwa. Two birds, one stone.

Posted by: Rusty at 10:10 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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March 22, 2006

WTW Polling Place


I did my civic duty last night. It was a bit dark for pics then so I got a couple this AM. Yes went to the basement door, Went in and used that new fangled votin machine they gots there. I miss the punched cards. It just felt better than fillin in little circles. Lot's of open races in the Republican primary. Preliminary results here for state wide races in ILL.
more...

Posted by: Howie at 09:01 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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March 20, 2006

RINO Sightings March 20th Edition

Below The Beltway is hosting the Carnival this week.

Posted by: Howie at 10:07 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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March 19, 2006

Things That Make Me Go "Hm"

In lieu of a caption contest, I offer only this.

The world of Science is in an uproar. Recent photos have unnerved even the most rock-ribbed of Paleontologists, Zoologists, Biologists, and Sweatyhippiepooterologists as they debate:

How many toes DOES the American Chicken have, anyway?

And thanks to the blog grandfather, we get this:

20060318IraqProtest04.jpg

Delusional leftards
do have a purpose, check out that good gay action just to the left of the sign (yer other left, idjit).

Posted by: Vinnie at 01:02 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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March 17, 2006

When Muslims Attack

Attack the Useful Idiots, that is.

Yeah, I linked my own blog again, but what else am I supposed to do? It's not like the guy posts here.

Sheesh, give me break, and stop looking at me like that.

Posted by: Vinnie at 07:39 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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March 16, 2006

Keeping Them Under The Bridge

Seems we have a troll intent on spoofing the regulars here.

If you regulars don't like being spoofed, email me at vinceautmorire@gmail.com and just write one word.

spoofer.

I will reply with another word.

You can't control comments here, but you can protect your good name, and save us some aggravation by trying to compare IP addresses. A spoofer may be able to type your email into the field provided in the comments, but they can't email me with your address can they?

If you're being spoofed, all you have to do is email Rusty or Howie, with the secret word, and you won't get deleted and banned. They control the banning process. I'll let them know the secret word.

If you don't get a reply to your email, then you're not in my pro-Jawa database (yes, I have one) and you may be a leftard.

Comments are closed because the secret word must be emailed.

Posted by: Vinnie at 04:15 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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March 15, 2006

She's Mine And You Can't Have Her

I love my wife.

Take her on in her comments, not here. I double dog dare you.

Posted by: Vinnie at 07:31 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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March 14, 2006

Melissa Theuriau Topless Pictures

May be viewed by following the links here.

What are you staring at? Of course I'm trying to make The Jawa Report number one on Google for "Melissa Theuriau Topless Pictures."

Posted by: Vinnie at 12:04 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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March 13, 2006

Salt Lake City Punk Reality Tour

My airplane got a flat tire. That's right, a flat tire on an airplane. And how do they fix it? Just a guy with a tire iron. It took 2 hours to get the tire changed. Needless to say, I missed my connection.

So I get stuck in Salt Lake City for a couple of days. Not the worst place to be stuck. It's a pretty cool town, actually. It snowed, which is always fun in March. Nevertheless, I'm glad to be home.

Thanks to all the well-wishers for keeping me in their prayers. The interview went reasonably well. I'll hear something in the next two weeks. If I get the job I'll give your prayers credit. If I don't get the job I'll know that Jawa readers need to turn their prayers towards the real God. You know, Allah.

Anyway about a million things to do to make up for lost time last week. Blogging will be light.

Posted by: Rusty at 08:10 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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March 09, 2006

Phinding Nemo

Phin, the fishnet wearing half of Apothegm Designs, just had his life get a whole lot more enjoyable.

Congratulations are in order, with a warning.

As you bask in the glow of your firstborn, those who are jealous of your sweet reward will now besiege you with a calvacade of "enjoy it now, wait until he's 2."

Then, when their hopes at your misery are dashed, the "wait until he's..." will generally progress upwards every 4 years or so, concluding with "wait until he's a teenager."

Look long and hard at the teenagers of the parents who say that.

And when your son finishes his schooling with an M.D. and a J.D. and is happily married with a child of his own, you will have your revenge on the person(s) who said "wait until he's a teenager." You know, the one who was a grandparent at 35.

Just ride the wave, Phin, ride the wave.

Posted by: Vinnie at 07:01 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Can Rusty Come Out to Play?

I'm sorry, Billy, Rusty isn't home. He'll be back next week. That's why he hasn't answered the gazillion e-mails sitting in his inbox.

PS-If you're the praying type, please pray that I get this job!

Posted by: Rusty at 07:59 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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March 08, 2006

WTW Tiny Bubbles.

Yes “Howie Vintage 06 batch A” is in progress. Judging by the color I’ve quite a good reaction going on here. Before the yeast gets going it’s dark in color. Bubbling it’s ass off it is.

Due date is 04/16.

Blogroll removed cause it hangs up at times.

more...

Posted by: Howie at 09:05 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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March 07, 2006

Personal Notes and Asides

Probably interesting to a very few, but will help explain my absence and light posting. more...

Posted by: Rusty at 11:30 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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March 06, 2006

Where's Rusty?

Had a long weekend with the family. Who would have thought it would be more enjoyable than, say, blogging? Might go fishing later today and test the hypothesis that it, too, might just be funner than blogging.

Posted by: Rusty at 07:55 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Good News And Bad News

Fellow Munuvian Mad Mikey is doing better.

Fellow Munuvian Delftsman could still use some prayers.

In the interest of levity, I feel the need to note that these types of things tend to happen in threes.

Rusty, you're screwed.

Best wishes and many prayers to both Mikey and Delfts, and to their families.

Posted by: Vinnie at 12:34 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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