mypetjawa v. 2.0 (beta) "<i>Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to ev

June 12, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: How Much Is That Dent In My Forehead In The Window Edition

***FATWAS ISSUED***

Since the "Translate This Mumble" post garnered requests for a contest, caption the photo for poor 'ol Ayman. Remember, he just lost a good friend.

~~Fatwas will be issued.~~

Fatwas:

"i will cut ur neck" fatwa:

mychimo, for: ...and always remember to yell "Fore!"

"devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa:

Oyster, for: "Pay no attention to the Jewish stars on the curtain behind me. We're just making do while we reconstruct a new safehouse."

Honorary right back atcha with a fatwa fatwa:

Some islamotard with: "i will fuc* you,zarqavi is my favourite man,and usame bin laden,Adam olun" (as previously noted by Howie.)

If you didn't finish in this one, there's still this one.

As always, thanks for the chuckles, and a new BSCC starts on Sunday.

Posted by: Vinnie at 10:14 PM | Comments (41) | Add Comment
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June 03, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: I Dunno, But It's Funny Edition

Got me, it's from France.

Posted by: Vinnie at 08:41 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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June 01, 2006

Don't Pee On My Statue And Tell Me It's Raining

Stein hoist to the blog grandfather. The pic speaks for itself.

Posted by: Vinnie at 09:33 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 I find it ironic that they would deride the Statue of Liberty by showing it (and by extension, the country) as a terrorist. In so doing, they are deriding themselves. Unless, for some warped reason, a Palestinian wearing a bomb belt and carrying an AK47 = good and being American wearing a bomb belt and carrying an AK47 = bad? Then we have the pissing on a statue carrying a book titled Democracy. Didn't they just have democratic elections they're so proud of? Depicting us as what they are somehow strikes me as hypocritical.

Posted by: Oyster at June 02, 2006 04:38 AM (YudAC)

2 Oh, I get it. Just because they voted for Hamas that means we're supposed to give Hamas money. See, that's how democracy works! If they voted for Hitler that means he was elected democratically and we're supposed to support him! The fact that we don't give Hamas money is proof that democracy is a sham. That's how their primitive thinking goes.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at June 02, 2006 06:55 AM (8e/V4)

3 Yeah, I noticed this the other day And created an editted version of the editorial cartoon. Lady Liberty becomes Burqa B!tch, holding the Sword of Jihadi Terror. Care to to guess the book being. . . uhhhh. . . moistened? http://rhymeswithright.mu.nu/archives/179355.php

Posted by: Rhymes With Right at June 02, 2006 08:42 AM (MylW1)

4 The Palestinians have been their own worst enemy for quite some time. If only they had been led by Mandela instead of Arafat.

Posted by: jd at June 02, 2006 04:19 PM (aqTJB)

5 >>>If only they had been led by Mandela instead of Arafat. jd, impossible. It's not just an accident that the palestinians have leaders like Arafat and Hamas. You see, Mandela represented his people's desire to live in peace with white folks. No such desire to live in peace with their neighbors is found amongst the palestinians. It certainly does not represent their views. So Arafat was the natural consequece of that, and political parties like Hamas naturally and organically take root and assume power. They truly do represent the aspirations of the palestinian people. Mandela or Ghandi were never an option.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at June 03, 2006 09:20 AM (8e/V4)

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May 31, 2006

Who Will It Be Now?

Yeah, I'm dating myself by quoting a Men At Work song lyric. Phbbbt.

Poll is under the fold. And it's just for fun. more...

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May 23, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Rusty In England Edition **Fatwas Issued**

Caption this photo of Islamofascists realizing that Rusty was there, and they failed to kill him.

capt.f3d184516f3f467bbe1b317c4c32417f.iraq_bag104.jpg

Fatwas issued.

Someday. Usually on Monday. But, Venom controls that.

FATWAS ISSUED!!!!

i will cut ur neck fatwa:

Brad, for:

Four Islamic Students react after an unsuccessful beheading attempt on Dr. Rusty Shackelford.

Muhammad: Let us not tell anyone of our ass beating by the great Satan Rusty Shackelford.

Abdullah: The roundhouse kicks to my groin prevented me from cutting his head off.

Nassar: Why did he keep yelling Â“bad gay soombithchÂ” over and over as he was punching me?

Mibalz Izhary: Is he really coming back Â“fortnightlyÂ” to kick our ass? How often is that anyway?

devil will do meetballs from your bodies fatwa:

Graeme, for:

As Kofi Annan would soon learn, Rusty's repeated use of his "pull my finger for 72 virgins" joke had set back the 'Alliance of Civilisations' program by 50 years.

why you insult the holly quoran fatwa:

Rodney Dill, for:

Oh Crap, We coulda had V-8's

Posted by: Vinnie at 02:35 PM | Comments (28) | Add Comment
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May 16, 2006

Caption Contest Fatwa Time!

Sorry for the delay, but, that's the way the pork rinds. Or something like that

"why you insult holly quoran, i will cut ur neck" fatwa:

Graeme: "Much to his wife's embarrasment, Russian professor and weblog superstar, Docktorevanova Russteaski Shackellefjodputinchev eagerly yelled at the animals: "C'MON BOY! SQUEAL LIKE A PIGGY!" That night at the hotel he was to discover that during a romantic encounter, whistling "Dueling Banjos" is not considered to be sexy."

"devil will do meetballs from your body" fatwa:

Sig94: "After his press conference, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad exchanges the traditional Iranian Hog Log with Helen Thomas in front of the 1,000 Martyrs Luxury Truck Stop and Sewage Treatment Plant."

"Sympathy for the ~~devil~~ ~~little Satan~~ the chronically hacked fatwa:

Aaron: "Outside the love "Shack", the Ayatollah "Docked" in "Elle" "Fjord" de Porque.

Mahmoud was all "Tore" up about being left out of the fun and had to content himself with "Tea"-bagging with his backyard goat, "Russ"." With bonus image!

"You're damn welcome, Mr. Venom" fatwa:

"Thanks Vinnie, for making me stare at two humping pigs to come up with this half-ass quote."

Oh yeah, someone asked why last week's contest was never judged. Well, it was a Peep's Choice, and the peeps never chose. So...there.

I like doing these, but, judging them is a pain. But only because it's just damned hard with all the great entries. But, I shall soldier on regardless.

Posted by: Vinnie at 07:24 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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May 07, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Don't Tread On Me Edition

Caption this photo of our national symbol defending his home.

I'm adding a new wrinkle to the BSCC. Captions will be allowed until 10:00 p.m. Central Time on Sunday night, and then comments are cut off.

Fatwas will be issued by those who email me at vinceautmorire@gmail.com voting for the best captions.

Since the comments/captions also are emailed, when you vote, please put [VOTE] in the subject line.

The top three most popular will be fatwa'd.

Winners announced Monday.

In other words, this is the American Idol of Fatwa Issuing.

Anyone juxtaposing Rusty's upcoming trip to Europe with the glare of the eagle will get super secret double extra consideration, as long as it's hilarious.

Posted by: Vinnie at 12:54 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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April 30, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Movie Review Edition

This isn't the normal BSCC.

If you saw United 93 this weekend, share your thoughts in the comments.

No fatwas will be issued.

I haven't seen the movie yet, but spoilers are not an issue. We all know how it ends.

Why make this a caption contest? The images are in your head and mine.

Just...vent. Let it all out.

Posted by: Vinnie at 12:55 AM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
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1 I haven't seen it yet, but hopefully the locals will violate international copyright law yet again, so that the US Military members here in good old IZ can watch and remember why we are here. I volunteered that sunny day back in 2001 to go back on active duty (from the USAR), and have thus far spent 3 years away from my lovely wife, 4 year old son and 10 month old daughter. Some might ask why....but I think I just answered that. I have had the privilege of serving with some great American and Iraqi patriots, and a few have fallen to the hands of our enemy. But we are all willing to continue to do what we MUST to insure that the enemy does not bring its primary goal of a pan-Islamic state to fruition. "We must all fear evil men, but there is one thing that we must fear more...the indifference of good men." Â– The Boondock Saints

Posted by: Moriarti at April 30, 2006 03:14 AM (bm/M7)

2 I saw it Friday night, and it was outstanding. I can't add much to the words of better writers than I. You can check out the reviews at rottentomatoes dot com. With a very few exceptions, the reviewers loved the film, as did I. Go see it.

Posted by: Ragnar Danneskjold at April 30, 2006 03:26 AM (Ym6kn)

3 I saw it yesterday late afternoon. The theater was nearly full, I would expect the evening showings were sold out. I hope so. I dreaded the beginning and I left the theater renewed in my belief that we must confront this enemy. If the film had been less objective in its presentation, I don't think it would have been so effective. From the reviews I've read, I don't think they've discussed how one sees the day unfold, not just the Hero Flight. I found that with the earlier hijackings and subsequent attacks presented from the perspective of ATC, FAA, Norad, there was a different type of horror than that I experienced that day. The director does not add to the 'reaction' rather one feels that it was videotaped in real time. On the Flight 93 in contrast, we 'see' and 'hear' the personal. We watch information come, decisions made. We see the post 9/11 America awaken on 9/11.

Posted by: Kathianne at April 30, 2006 03:55 AM (6bvSl)

4 I just saw the film and can only say it has reaffirmed my Faith and strengthened the resolve of the Patriot Brigade. Every arab man, woman, and child must be slaughtered and given the most violent and painful death possible. These are truly subhuman filth and of lesser value than a common cockroach. The extermination of the arab race must be the ultimate and final victory if we are to have justice for these brave American souls who lost their lives on 9/11.

Posted by: Unashamed Patriot at April 30, 2006 04:09 AM (y+196)

5 Patriot-I hope you do not mean what you have said about the extermination of the arab race. There are some fine people in the middle east who are fighting beside our troops who just want a better life. Yes there is a segment that must be destroyed so Islam can regain it's moral footing in the world. Those who use Islam for evil means must be destroyed. That is the only way there will be peace in the middle east and the world for that matter.

Posted by: bags75 at April 30, 2006 05:15 AM (j4izh)

6 My response to the film and the memorial (too much for a comment, sorry).

Posted by: rightwingprof at April 30, 2006 07:28 AM (hj1Wx)

7 I saw it last night and could not say a word to my wife for 20 minutes after it was over. I was so angry reliving what happened that day. We have to take the fight to them and this movie showed how they brought the fight to us. Thankfully people on that flight did not stand back and wait. They were the first warriors this country had fight back after the attacks on the Pentagon and WTC. The fighting spirit displayed over two hundred years before revealed itself again on that day. This movie depicts what happened on that flight in a way that should strengthen the resolve and shake the complacency of all our citizens. I feel everybody should see this movie and stay for the credits to see how many people played themself. Those characters in the movie will never land additional roles so they must have felt the importance to relive that day in this movie for everybody else.

Posted by: Stillmadashell at April 30, 2006 09:24 AM (rw9Aa)

8 My one word review: Gripping.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at April 30, 2006 11:37 AM (8e/V4)

9 I wish the hell the moonbats in NYC would decide to do something about the attack other than wondering why they hate us so much. Because you are an infidel, you dumn ass. Now, I've told you, so wake up and join the fight, and quit your stupid support of the very people who attacked you. While you march around acting stupid, the attackers are preparing worse for you. Wake up!

Posted by: jesusland joe at April 30, 2006 02:12 PM (rUyw4)

10 bagz75: you are very wrong. arabs are a subhuman filthy race. we should not be sending our soldiers to die trying to build a democracy for wretched evil people. they will only continue to send wave after wave of diseased filthy terrorists after us. our brave troops should be on a mission to eradicate every last arab man, woman, and child in every country and on every continent. they attacked us on 9/11 but we will not rest until the last filthy subhuman arab exists no more.

Posted by: Unashamed Patriot at April 30, 2006 02:41 PM (y+196)

11 UP - You sound more like someone who is spoofing conservative beliefs rather than someone who really believes them. If you really did believe them, you wouldn't leave them here at this site. Jawa readers don't believe in destroying everyone who doesn't agree with them. We want to get those who want to get us, and we don't believe every Arab wants to do that. Besides, there are Muslims of many races. Eradicating the Arabs will not destroy Islam nor the Islamist issue. it still infects those in Thailand, the Phillipines, India and other areas. What are realistic ways to stop the Islamists?

Posted by: eeyore at April 30, 2006 03:19 PM (0/sqo)

12 eradicating the arabs is just the first part of the final solution to global terrorism. the filth of islam eminates from the subhuman arab population. once that cancer has been eliminated we must root out all other followers of islam and liquidate them without delay. watching the film's final moments gave me great inspiration in one such method of defeating terrorism. tossing the infants and children of arabs into boiling water as their pitiful parents watch--then suffer the same fate. Praise Jesus and God Bless America

Posted by: Unashamed Patriot at April 30, 2006 04:03 PM (y+196)

13 I wince as I read the comments of a troll like Unashamed Patriot. Folks like him/her post here in order to tar true supporters of freedom and liberty. If Unashamed Patriit really believed in what he was advocating, he'd attempt to persuade rather than to post inflammatory and outrageous comments. Posts like this are part of the price of free speech. On the other side of the aisle, Daily Kos doesn't have the same problem. The reason is, they have an extremely efficient censorship system, so that divergent and wacked-out viewpoints can be effectively quashed in short order, so as to control the message. I certainly wouldn't advocate that system over here. I am convinced that the best answer to wrong speech is better speech. If you're trying to stir up unfocused anti-Arab sentiment, you won't get much traction here. Some of the very best Americans are Arabs. Some of the most devout Christians are Arabs. You think that Americans would turn on Arab Americans because some a groub of Saudi Arabian Muslims blew up a plane? Not likely. Not in these parts, anyways. Nice try, though.

Posted by: Ragnar Danneskjold at April 30, 2006 04:58 PM (Ym6kn)

14 By the way, if you knew anything about Christian philosophy, you'd know that Christians debate things like whether it is moral for the state to execute a man, even a man guilty of a heinous crime. They debate whether it can be moral to kill the unborn child. They debate whether a husband should be able to end the life of a debilitated wife. Unlike some other religions, Christianity is a religion of life and peace. Jesus unequivocally taught Christians to submit to authority, to eschew violence and to turn the other cheek. It is nonsensical to advocate slaughter and torture in the same post that you say "Praise Jesus" and "God bless America".

Posted by: Ragnar Danneskjold at April 30, 2006 05:07 PM (Ym6kn)

15 arabs have not been and never will be Americans. they are filthy subhuman animals who originate as the spawn of satan. Issac vs Ishmael--Satan begat Ishmael who spawned the arab race. Christ commands his true believers to eradicate the forces of Satan. Ragnar you are a traitor and deserve to be put in the gas chambers along with the filthy arabs. We will not allow you to tear away at the fabric of American Liberty.

Posted by: Unashamed Patriot at April 30, 2006 05:17 PM (y+196)

16 Just got back from seeing the movie, theater was only half full. At the end of the movie some one yelled out Islam is an evil religion another yelled out, any one still think we should not go after the terrorist? Many in the theater were weeping and saying God Bless America. Any one notice at end of movie the European who stood up to warn the terrorist and serveral people jumped on him? Wonder were that came from and if it is true?

Posted by: Patti at April 30, 2006 05:34 PM (2hEo4)

17 No fatwa, no comment. I am a fatwa-whore.

Posted by: Aaron's cc: at April 30, 2006 06:49 PM (ov6Vw)

18 Patti, Unabashed, go fuck yourselves.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at April 30, 2006 10:34 PM (8e/V4)

19 Wow! That movie sure brings the best out in people. You all should be tarred and feathered! Amen!

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at April 30, 2006 11:40 PM (h4PzP)

20 Anassnamed Patriot sez: Ragnar you are a traitor and deserve to be put in the gas chambers with the filthy arabs. Earth to Patriot: I'm a PIRATE. Of course I'm a TRAITOR. And of course I deserve to be put in a gas chamber. Who ever heard of a loyal pirate, anyway? BTW, if you wanna be an effective troll, you really oughtta pay attention to what actual conservatives say, rather than what the DKos & DU freaks spout when they try to mimic conservatives. Those kids really have no concept at all.

Posted by: Ragnar Danneskjold at May 01, 2006 03:55 AM (Ym6kn)

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April 24, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Bad Rusty, Bad Bad Bad *Fatwas Issued*

~~Caption this photo of Dr. Rusty Shackleford greeting a fellow geek at the Midwest Political Science (there's an oxymoron) Association's annual meeting at the Rosie Palmer House in Shytown.~~

***Fatwas Issued***

Fatwas issued when Venom shows up. Which is normally late Monday. If he shows up earlier, then fatwas issued when he bitches that I haven't issued a fatwa yet. Bastard. (i apologize Mr. Venom, i wet myself after I wrote that)

:-)

***Fatwas (in no particular order)***

SPO: "These are not the tonsils you're looking for....
These aren't the tonsils we're looking for.
Move along....
Move along, move along."

Rodney Dill (tie): "After meeting Stormtrooper Eduardo, John knew there would be no more Hand Solos." "This man is a member of the Rebel Dalliance."

Aaron: "Stormtrooper: Would it help if I got out and pushed?
Rusty: It might!"

Many, many excellent captions to choose from. Thanks everyone!

Oh, and welcome back Rusty. :::::running away:::::

Update by Howie :Bumped and updated on the Return of Dr. Rusty Shackleford below the break. more...

Posted by: Vinnie at 06:40 PM | Comments (37) | Add Comment
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March 21, 2006

China Jails Blogger

Oh, those Communists.

Posted by: Rusty at 01:42 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 Commies don't mess around.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at March 21, 2006 02:01 PM (8e/V4)

2 Future of the world: Sleeping giant builds it's resources while watching it's enemy's depletion of resources through long drawn out conflicts. When resources are depleted and the dust settles, Sleeping Giant emerges and seizes control, restoring peace and order to the world. They lived happily ever after.

Posted by: Hailus at March 21, 2006 02:20 PM (Y2ILH)

3 Your sleeping giant will have little paticence for you hailus - and an adjoining cell. Funny how the only thing that protects you from that "sleeping giant" is your mutual enemy.

Posted by: hondo at March 21, 2006 03:30 PM (9pQ6D)

4 hailus is one stupid SOB. Here's a scenario for him. China attempts to invade Taiwan and gets its ass kicked. Big time. Hahaha!

Posted by: jesusland joe at March 21, 2006 05:04 PM (rUyw4)

5 Now this is a blog and can settle into for awhile! But before I strike out for greener pastures, here's this! Say! I thought of a little game we can play. I'll start posting under different screen names and see who can track the full on, frothing barking moonbat mode II through cyberspace! Come on! It will be lot's of fun and won't be a waste of your time! And, whoever wins gets a free pissed on copy of the Quaran! Your friends will be amazed! The world is my oyster! Round 'em up and rope 'em off! We need leadership who works night and day figuring a way out of this mess! Even if it means missing a few photo-ops, golf games, 5-week wartime vacations, playing guitar with the old folks during hurricanes, or autistic basketball. http://www.votetoimpeach.org

Posted by: Hailus at March 21, 2006 10:13 PM (Y2ILH)

6 How not to win friends or influence anyone - impressive - since you are out to achieve nothing - you can't fail.

Posted by: hondo at March 21, 2006 11:54 PM (9pQ6D)

7 What passes for reason in the mind of a leftard is a wonder to me. Has there been an epidemic of delivery room nurses dropping babies on their heads for he last few decades or something?

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at March 23, 2006 06:41 AM (0yYS2)

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March 13, 2006

Fatwas Issued For The BSCC

Because I'm too tired and/or lazy to change the time-stamp on the contest, I'll just do a whole new post.

Fatwas:

Cindy's showing that the "Michael Moore Starter Kit" really works.
Posted by Yo at March 12, 2006 04:35 PM

Cindy Sheehan revealed the dark underbelly of the anti-war movement. It wasn't pretty.
Posted by Stephen Macklin at March 12, 2006 12:50 PM

When do I get that cute orange jumpsuit?
Posted by Marcus Aurelius at March 12, 2006 11:59 AM

As usual, the gratuitous Star Wars reference fatwa goes to:

"Where are you taking this....thing?"
Posted by Venom at March 13, 2006 10:29 AM

(we likesssssssssss Venom, yesss we doesssssss precioussssssssss)

And a special "I'm miserable so you have to be miserable too" fatwa:

Snore. This is like the Sunday morning talking heads shows -- only far more boring. And that's saying someting.
Posted by anon at March 12, 2006 10:52 AM

Posted by: Vinnie at 07:03 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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March 12, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Palpatine Wears Pink Edition

Caption this photo of Cindy Sheehan doing her best impression of Darth Sidious.

capt.45063f8159be46ad8c65d9d9482123e7.peace_mom_arrest_nyma104.jpg

Fatwas will be issued when I trace your IP address, hunt you down, and behead you.

Oh, wait, that's Ummah.com.

Fatwas issued Monday.

Posted by: Vinnie at 02:38 AM | Comments (30) | Add Comment
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March 06, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Waaaah Edition

Caption this photo of a terrorist in Gitmo going nowhere, fast (oh my, is he being escorted by a female? The shame!):

GUANTANAMO_DETAINEES.sff_NY119_20060303173713.jpg

~~Fatwas issued Monday.~~

Fatwas issued! Damn, this was a tough one to judge. Normally I pick the ones that make me LOL. This time, almost all made me LOL. I had to go with ROFLMAO.

MarcoBlogo: "No..please...anything but the cartoons...."

jack: "Does my new orange jump suit make my ass look big?"

Steve Sharon: "President Steve Sharon's first executive order was to dress all Arab prisoners at Guantanamo Bay as pumpkins and carve them to death."

Fred Fry: "Terrorist: "Wait til I get my hands on that "Jihad is great" recruiter!"

DM: "No, not the comfy chair! Please anything but the comfy chair!"

And a unique tie in the Made Vinnie Laugh So Hard He Almost Made Wee-wee In His Pants Fatwa Division:

splashtc: "I had nothing to do with Natalees disappearance."

Jester: "Come on Abdul...you're in no condition to drive...now where did you park your car?"

Posted by: Vinnie at 06:42 PM | Comments (35) | Add Comment
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March 04, 2006

The Non Blog Sabbath No Caption Contest Caption

This post is for you tipsy and horny men whose wives foolishly agreed to let the neighbor kid spend the night, cementing the fact that you will not get any because the crumb crunchers will not go to sleep before you do.*

Actually, I just found the real caption more funny than any made up one. The real caption contest is forthcoming.

The funny part of the caption:

Scarlett Johansson arrives at the 63rd annual Golden Globe Awards...

more...

Posted by: Vinnie at 07:36 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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February 28, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Late Monday Early Tuesday Edition

So I f***ed up the regular one. It wasn't supposed to be humorous, but, let bygones be bygones.

Caption this photo of Iraqi military viewing the corpse of a terrorist:

~~Fatwas will be issued today, Tuesday, February 28th, 2006.~~

Unless Mr. Venom says no.

***Fatwas Issued***

Capp: "Is today terrorist pickup or is it bottles and cans?"

Steve Sharon: "I thought the terrorists said they wouldnt take this lying down?"

Buckley F. Williams: "Listen Jabbar, I clearly called 'Allah, Allah, oxen-free'. And on top of that, we all agreed beforehand that the dirt patch in front of the falaffel shop was to be home base, not the dirt patch in front of the used car lot. If you are not going to play by the rules then I will take my weapon and go home. Jabbar? Are you hearing me?

Gratuitous Star Wars reference fatwa:

Venom: "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Your Picture Can Be Seen Here fatwa:

Anyone sees a picture they think would make a good caption contest photo, send it to me at vinceautmorire@gmail.com. If I don't use it that week, don't fret, I'll at least have it in Vinnie's Increasingly Growing Image Library for possible future use.

Posted by: Vinnie at 05:55 PM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
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February 11, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Double Vision Edition

Caption this photo of Muslim protestors in Kenya:

That photo is for the caption contest, but the below photo is for extra credit. After your caption, tell us what is uglier, the dead bird, or the pasty-ass fish-belly lardo looking at it. Heh, guess you know my answer.

BULGARIA_BIRD_FLU.sff_PP106_20060211111114.jpg

Posted by: Vinnie at 10:44 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
Post contains 64 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Kenya first country to allow Polygamous gay marriage.

Posted by: jonny at February 11, 2006 11:42 PM (nytWC)

2 'You put your right stump in, you take your right stump out...' 'Mmmmm. Rotting bird carcus. I haven't had one of those for over 2 hours.'

Posted by: MoHummers (pbumd) at February 11, 2006 11:45 PM (nKGgB)

3 "Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar. All for Mohammed STAND UP AND HOLLER!!

Posted by: The Dread Pundit Bluto at February 12, 2006 12:09 AM (RHG+K)

4 Â“All right, settle down! On 3 we break & go kill some infidels & burn their embassy because they drew an offensive picture of the prophet Mohammed.Â” Â“1!.. 2!..Â” Â“Wait, wait, wait! Actually someone totally different, that lives 3,000 miles away did the drawing, but they are from the same country I thinkÂ… you know all of the infidels look alike to me. Anyways they lied about the Zionist holocaust, so on 3 we kill them all, Allah be praised.Â” Â“1!.. 2!..Â” Â“Wait, Wait, Wait! Mohammed lived 1,500 years ago & to be honest IÂ’m not really sure what he looked like, they couldÂ’ve have been drawing anyone & he does kinda look like my brother in-law, AliÂ… Hmm, I got an IdeaÂ… On 3, we break, kill the infidels, burn their ebassay & blame the Jews!Â” Â“1!.. 2!.. 3!.. Death to America!Â”

Posted by: PMain at February 12, 2006 12:53 AM (ImHPa)

5 I did not fuck that bird to death in my scivvies! Allah Akbar! ba bar ba bar! I thought it was a pig in a duck costume!

Posted by: forest hunter at February 12, 2006 01:56 AM (Fq6zR)

6 Photo 1: Along with their many rulings, Kenyan Imams had issued a fatwa over pizza slices, since the triangle is the symbol of Tinky Winky, the alledgedy homosexual Teletubbie. This often made eating Kenyan pizza a dicey proposition. Photo 2 : In an instant, the situation had become extremely dangerous. Not only had the European Bigfoot (Hasselhoffus Bananahammockus)spotted the bait, but our research team as well.

Posted by: Graeme at February 12, 2006 05:37 AM (Xtiq0)

7 One potato, two potato, three potato, four. Ok, Achmed, it's your turn to pay for the danish. In other news; research has shown that birds not only have superior eye-sight, but are also prone to fainting on exposure to, well, exposure.

Posted by: Jim at February 12, 2006 07:26 AM (YkmII)

8 2nd: All that was left of BjÃƒÂ¶rk was her dress

Posted by: Don Surber at February 12, 2006 07:52 AM (9dzVM)

9 Denied the ability to "car swarm" by a remarkable lack of missiles killing local terrorists, Kenyans turn in frustration to "flag swarming".

Posted by: Jeff Medcalf at February 12, 2006 08:22 AM (eer2X)

10 All right boys, five seconds left and weÂ’re up by 4. What ever you do, DONÂ’T FOUL THE SHOOTER. Ok, on three, readyÂ… one, two, threeÂ…Denmark Sucks!!!!! The manager of the new KFC franchise in Damascus inspects his inventory for quality and freshness hours before the restaurant opens

Posted by: Brad at February 12, 2006 09:52 AM (BJYNn)

11 TOP Man on left: "Now everyone draw straws, short straw is this weeks suicide bomber." Man with raised hand: "Say anyone know where this Grenade pin goes?" BOTTOM Allahu Aflack-barf

Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 12, 2006 12:14 PM (tGTSA)

12 Abdul:"Ok, huddle up, huddle up. OK. Three, Sixtyfive Green, split wide on two. Ready? Break!" Mohammed: "Ready Break? Where are our exploding helmets?"

Posted by: Steve Sharon at February 12, 2006 01:15 PM (uw4bt)

13 and for extra credit....in honor of Peter Sellers..... "Birdie Num Num...Birdie Num Num..."

Posted by: Steve Sharon at February 12, 2006 01:20 PM (uw4bt)

14 The entertainment starved Iraqi's always jumped at the opportunity whenever Salazar said, "Pull my finger." Bottom: "Thank god for the Heimlich maneuver."

Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 12, 2006 02:48 PM (tGTSA)

15 #1 Okay boys, unfurl the flag and FLICK YER BICs. #2 Mmmmmm, that be yummy for the tummy. Road Kill and Dumplins for din din.

Posted by: bubbe at February 12, 2006 04:46 PM (vZBQO)

16 First photo: eBay Kenya's first and last attempt at a free market system. Second photo: That's not a dead bird....that's a space station.

Posted by: Venom at February 13, 2006 09:14 AM (dbxVM)

17 Photo 1: Scissors and paper? We don't need no stinking scissors and paper. Stone crushes stone so I get to burn the Swiss flag. I mean Danish! Ahhh, close enough. Photo 2: The swans will swoon to the Speedo man.

Posted by: Charles at February 13, 2006 10:19 AM (kiLAW)

18 #1: "One at the time, please! Everybody will get their Danish passeport!" #2: "What the hell happened to my dog?!?" - Max

Posted by: Max at February 13, 2006 01:01 PM (WM45z)

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February 06, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Stupid Criminals Part One

Fatwas Issued

Caption this photo of stupid alleged criminal Lonnie "Vent Man" Shields allegedly caught in the act.

~~Fatwas issued Monday.~~

Fatwas issued!

Steve Sharon: "SHAFT!.....Can you dig it?"

Marcus Aurelius: "Excellent! I can now sue the building owner and become a millionaire!"

Rodney Dill (by popular demand): "The India Space program took off with an early success today, as Hindunaut, Ravi "Beans" Bindharvi, (pictured in launch device), consumed enough legume derivative to produce sufficient volatile gases needed to achieve escape velocity."

Double fatwa with Danish cheese, super-sized with a bottle of Carlsberg:

Buckley F. Williams: "Chloe? This is Black Bauer. There's no time to explain so listen carefully. I've become lodged in a model Q-237 air conditioning duct. I'm connecting you to the duct's peripheral communications center by remote armpit access, you'll have to help me find some way to get free."

Because, after all, tonight IS Jack Bauer night.

Posted by: Vinnie at 06:45 PM | Comments (27) | Add Comment
Post contains 169 words, total size 2 kb.

January 30, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Endorsed By Jimmy Carter Edition

******FATWAS ISSUED******

Caption this photo of ~~Ham Ass~~ Hamas "political leader" Khaleed Said Salaam Shaheed Abdul ibn Fahd Derka Derka Mohammed Jihad Smith giving a speech to someone somewhere:

IMPORTANT NOTE: Entries containing the words "death," "to," or "Israel" will be automatically disqualified. C'mon peeps, there has to some challenge to this.

Fatwas will be issued when Mr. Venom submits an entry complaining that no fatwas have been issued.

Or Monday evening, before the new episode of 24, of course.

Fatwas issued! Man, this gets harder every week. These Islamotards are great for caption contests, eh wot?

Double fatwa with cheese, super-sized with a diet Coke:

"And then we're going to Syria, and we're going to Lebanon, and we're going to Yemen. Yeeeeaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhh!" - Steven L.

Fatwas:

"We need one more couple for the Virginia Reel!" - J Rob

"OH MY GOD!!!...Its Godzillaaaaa!!!!!.....WUN!!! WUN!!! Wun For youre lives!!!" - Thanos35

"Arafat! Pull my finger!" - Leovinius

Honorable mention fatwa for Star Wars reference:

"That's not a moon, it's a space station!" - Lawhawk

Gratuitous honorable mention so he doesn't fling poo at his owners:

"I am number one!
Number two is on my other hand." - Spacemonkey

And speaking of fatwas, how about another posting of the Danish caricatures of Mohammed under the fold!

Go ahead, suckers, boycott me!! more...

Posted by: Vinnie at 06:04 PM | Comments (50) | Add Comment
Post contains 239 words, total size 2 kb.

January 16, 2006

The Sunday Night Early Monday Poll

Posted by: Vinnie at 01:37 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 83 words, total size 2 kb.

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