mypetjawa v. 2.0 (beta) "<i>Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to ev

June 17, 2006

Filipina Celeb - Melissa Leslie

Melissa has an interesting bio: she is a freelance artist (sculpture and oil painting), currently attending the Academy of Arts in San Francisco after getting an Associates Degree in Computer Graphics. She is 23, 5'2, 100lbs, Filipino-mix. More of her here, along with the daily roundup.

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Beer, Coffee, And PIZZA!

On top of the great news about coffee helping your liver, 17 beers per day helping your prostate, today we learn that pizza prevents cancer.

I can't think of any better news than this.

Friggin' Ace beat me to this post. I suck.

P.S. - What about cigarettes, don't they cure anything? Maybe watching football cures heart disease? Nachos cure sterility?

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June 16, 2006

Filipina Celeb - Anna Tan, Semi-Celeb

Anna is almost unknown on the web. She is apparently a model without a website or any advertising. Hmmm, maybe not really a celeb, but cute. More here. more...

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June 15, 2006

Filipina Celeb - Jae Angel

Jae is a Filipina living in Scottsdale, Arizona. She is an ex-dancer who now models for a living. She is 5'3 and 96lbs. More here.

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June 14, 2006

We Get Results #3285

From deep within his Fort Collins bunker, Macktastic Rusty Wicked sends this comment from one of his posts:

Name: vanezza hashmi
Email Address: vene786@yahoo.co.uk
URL:
"" can you stupid f****** idiots stop going on about islam, leave our
religion alone,just why you have no religion or faith and you feel it
is ok to talk about islam,you have no right what so ever to discuss
islam ,mind your own business,you are nothing but a bunch of p**
eating,fanny licking sons of million dad's,just go home and ask your
slag,whore mother's who your father's are and you will be given the
names of all the men in the neighbour hood,go to hell you pigs

Well, vanezza, before this pig heads to hell, I'll give you the Official (not) Jawa Report Wikipedia entry, sent out by stalwart co-blogger The All Seeing Eye:

Jawa on Wikipedia, the Most Accurate Source Of Information Ever.

I feel sorry for the residents of Niue Island as jihadis search mercilessly for the Official Jawa Report Secret Base.

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The Trials Of PK

Holy crap, I coulda been a Kennedy.

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June 09, 2006

Translate The Mumble

Traderrob's post has me, like you, asking "what did Zarqawi mumble?"

Feel free to submit your translation of Z-man's last words in the comments.

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June 07, 2006

Huh?

Since I took a vacation day tomorrow, I went searching for a picture to do a mid-week Caption Contest. The guilt of not judging last Blog Sabbath's contest overwhelmed me, even though I never said that fatwas would be issued.

Anyway, at this link, I found this:

Well, imagine my relief knowing that the Left no longer has the "Where's Osama" meme.

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June 06, 2006

No Offense Intended, Really

Wife upstairs on laptop, me downstairs, talking about the muslim that got eaten by the lion:

Vinnie (PBUH) says:
About that zoo trip http://www.sptimes.ru/index.php?action_id=2&story_id=17804
M E R R I says:
what a stupid, stupid man!
Vinnie (PBUH) says:
No, just your typical muslim
M E R R I says:
I guess so...and now he's visiting the Lion's virgins.

If she didn't work so much, I'd nominate her as the new Padawan.

Posted by: Vinnie at 11:35 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Apocalypse Watch

It's 5:42 pm here in the Midwest and no sign of Impending Doom. The skies are bright blue, not red, and no reports of the seas boiling. The four horsemen have yet to appear, and the 12th Imam is still holed up in his well, passing up love letters to Mahmoud.

However, in less than half an hour, I will be hiding under the bed at 6:06:06 pm. I slept through it this morning though.

update Well, nothing happened. Except my dog's head turned 360 degrees and now she's talking to me. In French. But that could just be the alcohol. Had to brace myself, you know.

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Lion Attacks Would-be ~~Daniel~~ Hidden Imam

~~I knew Daniel. Daniel was a friend of mine. You, sir, are no Daniel.~~

Turns out the idiot was probably a Shia Muslim since he was an Azeri. Which means either a) he believes he's the "Hidden Imam" and thought the lion's den was the well where prayers are dropped into or b) he was attempting to develop the world's first lion powered suicide vest.

BelchSpeak thinks it was a bet. I guess he lost.

Seattle Times:

A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lion in a Kiev, Ukraine, zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said Monday.
"The man shouted, 'God will save me, if he exists,' lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said. "A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."

Actually, this proves that there is a God and that he has a very keen sense of humor.

Posted by: Rusty at 03:05 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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1 Who's Daniel?

Posted by: Scott Vargas at June 06, 2006 03:23 PM (CnDtU)

2 Never mind. Sorry, I haven't read the bible much in his life.

Posted by: Scott Vargas at June 06, 2006 03:24 PM (CnDtU)

3 "...if he exists." LOL! That was his first mistake. You don't call into question God's existence just before you lower yourself into a lions pit, you friggin moron.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at June 06, 2006 03:24 PM (8e/V4)

4 Sounds like natural selection to me. Sure he wasn't talking about Darwin?

Posted by: Purple Avenger at June 06, 2006 03:31 PM (gf5iT)

5 Talk about a half-ass leap of faith! Never use a qualifier when asking God's assistance! " ... if he exists"????

Posted by: hondo at June 06, 2006 03:56 PM (el7nZ)

6 Serves him right. I hope the Lion did not get aids after the bite to his neck. Poor Lion.

Posted by: Leatherneck at June 06, 2006 04:12 PM (D2g/j)

7 Only Catholics can get away with the Lion in the zoo trick. You others, don't even try.

Posted by: B rad at June 06, 2006 04:21 PM (3OPZt)

8 I'm Catholic and I sure as hell wouldn't try it.

Posted by: Vinnie at June 06, 2006 04:41 PM (/qy9A)

9 I don't know, going for the lions was probably a mistake for a first timer.This dude probably should have started smaller. Maybe something like jumping the fence at the Chernobyl plant and dodging those large gard dogs to get his sonÂ’s FUTboll back. He was just too green for this run. Yep, Green and not Catholic.

Posted by: B rad at June 06, 2006 05:07 PM (3OPZt)

10 Think the filthy muslims will learn what he learned?

Posted by: greyrooster at June 06, 2006 05:27 PM (Y2/LN)

11 True, or he could have started by showing up at a U.S. Army Ranger convention shouting "Jesse MacBeth is the greatest man to ever live!!!" On second thought...

Posted by: Vinnie at June 06, 2006 05:27 PM (/qy9A)

12 He should have started with something smaller - like rabbits. God probably would have protected him from the rabbits - unless God has a Monty Python sense of humor.

Posted by: hondo at June 06, 2006 05:41 PM (el7nZ)

13 Never mind beheading videos. A video of this would be interesting viewing and a lesson to all who test the power of the almighty.

Posted by: Jester at June 06, 2006 07:30 PM (TuAMG)

14 I was going to say "At least he proved one of Darwin's theories" but someone essentially beat me to it.

Posted by: CanForce 101 at June 06, 2006 10:00 PM (BRXB/)

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June 05, 2006

I'm Going to Become an 'Undocumented Worker' in Mexico

That giant sucking sound you hear is The Jawa Report moving its corporate headquarters to Mexico.

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May 30, 2006

Because It's A Star Wars Themed Blog, That's Why

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May 25, 2006

God, Country, Beastie Boys: My Loyalties in That Order

A twofer Beastie Boys lunch extravaganza!

Llamas with Sabatoge. Chaos with She's On It

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May 24, 2006

Secure the Blow!

My buddy Cookie tells this tale of when life on a submarine goes horribly wrong. Don't read it during the dinner hour.

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May 19, 2006

***BREAKING*** HOUSE REPUBLICANS VOTE TO FORCE LIBS TO WEAR IDENTITY PATCHES

***BREAKING: MUST CITE JAWA REPORT***

Fascist neocon House Rethuglikkkans passed a bill today that would force all Commie symp, leftist, BDS suffering Koskid moonbats to identify themselves with a yellow stripe down the back.

The bill has yet to go to the Senate, where, if approved, would be sent up for blessings by our wise and all-knowing Emperor ChimpyMcBusHitler. Assuming he can tear himself away from talking to God and exterminating all of the brown people for a few minutes.

This story has yet to be confirmed.

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Open Thread Friday

Things could get quiet here today, so have yourselves a nice little flamewar in the comments.

Sure, you could debate something in a rational and civil manner, but what fun is that?

Update: Oh, and feel free to hand yourself a fatwa with open trackbacks on this post.

Posted by: Vinnie at 06:02 AM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
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1 Ok, I'll start... Funniest thread EVER?: http://dummiefunnies.blogspot.com/ Discuss.

Posted by: Son Of The Godfather at May 19, 2006 06:48 AM (maXzk)

2 That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever seen! What were we talking about again?

Posted by: Fersboo at May 19, 2006 06:54 AM (x0fj6)

3 Super Sekrit message to Vinnie: Damn Rain, will it never end?

Posted by: Howie at May 19, 2006 06:57 AM (D3+20)

4 Have I mentioned lately that Democrats are traitors? Just wanted to make sure.

Posted by: William Teach at May 19, 2006 06:59 AM (doAuV)

5 I know one Dem who's a total Murtha-f*cker.

Posted by: Son Of The Godfather at May 19, 2006 07:37 AM (maXzk)

6 its time to make iran a parking lot!!!!!

Posted by: josh at May 19, 2006 08:47 AM (MGRcs)

7 Bush is an idiot with no consciense and no shame!

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at May 19, 2006 09:18 AM (FCC6c)

8 Much like God, Bush hates the underprivileged and the poor, expecially poor and middle class Americans.

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at May 19, 2006 09:21 AM (FCC6c)

9 OK, here's what happens to people who tell Bush the truth about what is happening in Iraq: (from Harpers) The field reports, known as Â“Aardwolfs,Â” were angrily rejected by the White House. Their authorÂ—who I'm told was a highly regarded agency veteran named Gerry MeyerÂ—was soon pushed out of the CIA, in part because his reporting angered the See No Evil crowd within the Bush administration. ....In 2004 Meyer was replaced with a new CIA station chief in Baghdad, who that year filed six Aardwolfs, which, sources told me, were collectively as pessimistic about the situation in Iraq as the ones sent by his predecessor. The station chief finished his assignment in December 2004; he was not fired, but according to one source is now Â“a pariah within the system.Â” Three other former intelligence officials gave me virtually identical accounts, with one saying the exÂ–station chief was Â“treated like shitÂ” and Â“farmed out.Â” ....As has been the case with other people deemed to be insufficiently loyal, the White House went fishing for dirt on the two station chiefs, including information on their political affiliations. Â“I spent 30 years at the CIA,Â” said one former official, Â“and no one was ever interested in knowing whether I was a Republican or a Democrat. That changed with this administration. Now you have loyalty tests.Â”

Posted by: jd at May 19, 2006 09:38 AM (aqTJB)

10 In regard to yesterday's Taliban attacks in Afghanistan: I am not sure that we may take for granted the report of 40 killed. It seems that only 14 Taliban bodies were recovered which would be one more than the Afghan police reported as losing. http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=691678

Posted by: john ryan at May 19, 2006 09:52 AM (TcoRJ)

11 Bow down to your King!

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at May 19, 2006 09:52 AM (FCC6c)

12 Thanks for that info JD. A good worthwhile leader would be too busy to engage in such petty " witch-hunting " tactics.

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at May 19, 2006 10:03 AM (FCC6c)

13 Even scarier than the witchhunt and punishing those who just give the facts, is that this is the pattern that GOT us into Iraq. I'm halfway through Assassin's Gate, which I recommend to all. It is a very fair account by a previously pro-war guy about how we got here in Iraq. Won all kinds of awards, and justly so. Even after reading Rise of the Vulcans, which is also excellent, I still learned a huge amount about Wolfowitz, Feith, and how they did similar things to what is described above--didn't trust the intel professionals, despite numerous warnings. Ran their own intel shop to get the answers. Did what Haydn criticized in his testimony about Feith--deductive and not inductive intel.

Posted by: jd at May 19, 2006 10:10 AM (aqTJB)

14 JD... that sounds a lot like the stuff that Robert Baer was talking about after he quit the company. Clinton administration didn't listen either, didn't want to nip things in the bud as it were. Seems like those at the top either just don't care when they could change things before they get worses, or that they want to keep things in the shit, especially in that part of the world. Senior Bush had his chance, Clinton too, this admin.... when is somebody going to grow some balls, take the info they are getting from the guys in the field, take the gloves off and REALLY set things right???

Posted by: memphis761 at May 19, 2006 10:18 AM (D3+20)

15 "Much like God...." Larry,Larry, Your soul will live forever and there is nothing you can do about it.

Posted by: Brad at May 19, 2006 10:44 AM (BJYNn)

16 When there is lightning, Larry thinks God is taking his picture.

Posted by: Howie at May 19, 2006 11:49 AM (D3+20)

17 I donÂ’t see Larry and John becoming good friends. Things probably go south pretty quick at the cafÃƒÂ© when Larry orders a steak.

Posted by: Brad at May 19, 2006 11:56 AM (3OPZt)

18 A good competent leader would be too busy for such trivial pursuits as witch-hunting!

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at May 19, 2006 12:19 PM (FCC6c)

19 It's almost amusing the confidense the Left feel about the CIA, everyone else is calling for reform, and wanting people to be held accountable for leaks, as for Iraq and finding WMD, according to Clinton appointee George Tenent it was a "slam dunk" no? Will we ever find the answer? maybe -- if we search Sandy Berger's pants.

Posted by: davec at May 19, 2006 02:42 PM (CcXvt)

20 Last gasp larry, john ryan and jd. You talk like faggots. Been buggered by any of your muslim boyfriends lately?

Posted by: greyrooster at May 19, 2006 07:54 PM (AWtJU)

21 Like Bush, our great leader. I also hate the poor. Unless one is handicapped in some manner there is no excuse for being poor and living off of others. This is the greatest economy in the world. Wealth is everywhere for any able bodied person who sets his mind to it and has the fortitude to go work for it. Every wealthy immigrant knows this. Why can't you stupid liberals learn what thousands of immigrants know. They arrive in this country penniless and are soon wealthy beyond their dreams. THOSE THAT WORK AND PRODUCE SHOULD LIVE BETTER THAN THOSE THAT DON'T. Wealth in America is simply setting goals and doing what it takes to achieve those goals. The majority of comfortable people in this country started with nothing. Just a matter of steering ones self in the proper direction to achieve wealth. Example, if one chooses to be a police officer, then he understands he probably will not end up wealthy. There are exceptions (Bo Dietl) of New York, City who became wealthy after he retired. Or is that again an example of anyone can become wealthy in America if he chooses? Poor! Ones own choosing. Thats why I don't cry for them.

Posted by: greyrooster at May 19, 2006 10:05 PM (AWtJU)

22 Larry and his Moonbat Buddies are in NEVA, NEVA Land! Agents get caught divulging Secret Info and it's a witch Hunt! What a bunch of Losers, Dangerous also! They have NO concern for the security of this nation nor it's people!! Just hate Bush! Sheesh

Posted by: mike at May 19, 2006 11:04 PM (w3HDb)

23 Right ... and 6 years after homeland security, our Grand protector ( decider ) decided to throw a few thousand guardsmen at the border, and pushed for turning our ports over to Dubai. Didn't waste any time wire-tapping though! Don't make me laugh! LOL Whoops! there I go again! Ha Ha!

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at May 19, 2006 11:36 PM (FCC6c)

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May 17, 2006

Who Writes These Headlines?

House ethics panel to probe several lawmakers

Larry Flynt?

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The Other Unasked Question About Illegal Immigration

Where the Hell did I put that English to Spanish dictionary anyway?

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Will You Still Need Me

or will You Bleed me? When I'm Sixty-Four.....And the answer is...

CNN:On Wednesday, (Paul) McCartney, who turns 64 next month, posted a message on his personal Web site saying that he was upset over suggestions that Mills McCartney had simply married him for his fortune

I'm not worried about the money thing, it's like a prophesy! more...

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1 But don't all sweet young hotties dream of marrying dottering old men?

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at May 17, 2006 04:57 PM (0yYS2)

2 Sir Paul said that he announced their breakup so Heather could 'have a leg-up' on the media on this story.

Posted by: Steve Sharon at May 17, 2006 08:41 PM (L8hzy)

3 Heather demanded the split because Paul started calling her by a nickname everytime she walked. He called her "Norwegian Wood." She considers this cruel and unusual punishment.

Posted by: Steve Sharon at May 17, 2006 08:43 PM (L8hzy)

4 Most people believe that if this becomes a divorce proceeding, Sir Paul should throw Heather onto a landmine.

Posted by: Steve Sharon at May 17, 2006 08:44 PM (L8hzy)

5 Yesterday, All my money seemed not far away, Now it looks as though half's gone today, Oh I believe in Yesterday. Suddenly, Im not half as rich as I used to be There's a divorce hanging over me, Oh I believe in Yesterday. Why she had to go, now I know, she will not stay, I said grow a new leg, now I long for yesterday... Yesterday, Had a wife who when she tried to stay, Wasnt cause she couldnt hop away, Oh I believe in Yesterday. Why, she, had to go I dont know, she wore the leg Now, she's, hopping mad,and more rich, than yesterday... Yesterday, I thought everything with her was fine, Now I wish she'd trip over a landmine, Oh I believe in Yesterday, Limp limp limp, limp, limp limp limp!

Posted by: Steve Sharon at May 17, 2006 08:53 PM (L8hzy)

6 Paul and I are the same age and I've wondered why my hair is freakin totally grey and his is not. Could it be he dyes it? John was always my favorite anyway.

Posted by: Badeye at May 18, 2006 05:12 AM (jThLx)

7 What goes around, comes around. He slammed the "older generation" in the song, now he has become his own icon.

Posted by: Chief RZ at May 18, 2006 11:57 AM (rFh3M)

8 True, Chief. Irony, like revenge, is best served cold.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at May 18, 2006 04:42 PM (0yYS2)

9 Paul and I are the same age and our hair is the same color. Paul will miss Heather's hooters for sure. Anyway, I would. Ah! getting old is a pain in the ass. If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't.

Posted by: greyrooster at May 19, 2006 09:10 PM (AWtJU)

10 Seriosly, in London, this was THE headline of the week.

Posted by: Rusty at May 23, 2006 10:24 AM (JQjhA)

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