mypetjawa v. 2.0 (beta) "<i>Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to ev

January 31, 2006

Previewing The State Of The Union Address

A meticulously detailed look at tonight's State of the Union Address painstakingly constructed from pre-speech published sources: more...

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Men Want Jessica Alba

Jessica-Alba Usually, public opinion polls are disputable. I think this one has merit because it's what Mom would want for her son also.

From BostonHerald.com:

"Fantastic Four" gal Jessica Alba is the woman most men want to bring home to meet Mom, according to AskMen.com.
Jess is "long-term relationship material," according to the Web site's 2.5 million readers and staff surveyed for the annual Top 99 List.

Angelina Jolie was a runner-up and, oddly, Britney Spears didn't even make the list. Also, no veiled ROPMA women were in the Top 99 List. Imagine that.

Companion post at Interested-Participant.

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January 28, 2006

It's In the Koran (Karaoke)

UPDATE: If the video isn't working, it's because we've killed the bandwidth on it. 'Patrick Henry', who produced the video, has reposted it here. Hopefully that link will work for awhile.

Since Vinnie appears to be asleep at the wheel on that whole Blog Sabbath thing, enjoy this music video. It's even got words so you can sing along!

Hat tip Joel.

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Burning Down the House (Reno punk remix)

I never much cared for David Byrne's version of it. Janet Reno's is much better.

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January 26, 2006

Palestinian Elections: A Haiku

Hamas, won have we

Exterminate Jews we will

Allahu...

...
...
...

Hey? Is that a Hellfire miss

Posted by: Vinnie at 08:22 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Meet The New Imeat.

Wow sounds scrumptious especially after sitting on a shelf fermenting. Yum Yum. I thought I told Rusty not to eat this.

Hat Tip: Punk2.

more...

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January 23, 2006

I'll Take a Bucket of Original Recipe and a Suicide Belt to Go

Hate America, love Colonel Sanders. It's not so much the food as the secret additive that makes Syrians crave it fortnightly.

Posted by: Rusty at 01:56 PM | Comments (25) | Add Comment
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1 I think Mike Meyers sums it up nicely: "It's a sign of the Pentaburate, which consists of the Queen. The Vatican. The Getty's. The Rothschilds. AND Colonel Sanders before he went heads up! Oh, I hated the Colonel with his wee BEADY eyes! and that smug look on his face, 'Oh! You're gonna buy my chicken, OHHH!"

Posted by: Newslinker at January 23, 2006 02:11 PM (Gi7oA)

2 It's actually "tets up". Damn I love that movie.

Posted by: caltechgirl at January 23, 2006 02:54 PM (/vgMZ)

3 All your chicken are belong to us! Col. Sanders akhbar!

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 23, 2006 03:19 PM (0yYS2)

4 I believe it's Col. Momar Sanders, no relation.

Posted by: Brass at January 23, 2006 04:18 PM (6TLEO)

5 notice that this news came out immediately after teh South Park episode was rebroadcasted this week where Cartman eats all the skin off the Kentucky Fried Chicken and then thinks he dies from it....I see a direct connection here.

Posted by: Steve Sharon at January 23, 2006 04:42 PM (LY1nq)

6 notice that this news came out immediately after the South Park episode was rebroadcasted this week where Cartman eats all the skin off the Kentucky Fried Chicken and then thinks he dies from it....I see a direct connection here.

Posted by: Steve Sharon at January 23, 2006 04:42 PM (LY1nq)

7 Steve, Do you think Butters might act as a medium to relay messages from Cartman to the Syrian dictator in chief?

Posted by: Rusty at January 23, 2006 04:53 PM (JQjhA)

8 Forget the kentucky fried shite, this is much more interesting: 'American military power is completely unrivalled in world today' America wasted it resources and is not fighting a different type of war that it is designed to fight. American can sustain itself for 3-weeks of aerial bombings, shock and awe nonsense and then its military is useless as Iraq has shown. The US will not invade another country as Iraq has shown how low-cost IEDs can neutralize America's high tech military junk. IN order to invade to steal oil, you need boots on the ground which would mean a perpetual draft of US citizens (oil protection workers), a major economic lesson the US is learning in Iraq. America military supremacy has been exposed as nothing but a myth created in hollywood. Look what the Iraq war has done. The US was only able to invade Iraq after 14 years of genocidal sanctions, daily no fly zone bombings and after the UN had disarmed Iraq. The US has NEVER won a political battle following military intervention, as soon as US troops leave Iraq and Afghanistan everything the built will be dismantled. Even with all that the US still cannot control Iraq, much less the road from the airport to their heavily fortfied Green Zone prison. American troops can't freely walk around anywhere in Iraq and are confined to fortified bases, not exactly the way you would expect from a super power. Even in Vietnam, US troops were able walk around Saigon. NOT IN IRAQ. The Iraq war has turned into a $ 2 trillion debacle that the US cannot sustain and clearly the Iraq war has been economically (and militarily) self-defeating for the US. Look how higher oil prices have destroyed the US transport industry with GM and Ford about to file for bankruptcy and Delphi already in bankruptcy. Before the US even thinks about attacking Iran it should tabulate the economic damage that the Iraq war has already done. The US doesn't have 14 years to wait for Iran sanctions to work and doesnt have the resources to take on Iran. How is the US going to fund another $6 trillion war with Iran: by borrowing from China or printing up more worthless dollars? The Iraqi Resistance has shown how to defeat a stupid superpower who believe the US military (bloated, ineffective and inefficient) can used to reverse US economic decline. First, you let the dumb Super Imperial Army in your gates, then you cut off their exit routes leaving them trapped in a long, costly and bloody guerilla war that they can never win. The US generals are so desperate in Iraq that they have to speak through congressman Murtha about their plight. The US generals in Iraq dare not tell their political leadership that they have been defeated, they have to hide their failure behind Murtha, bying time to find so face-saving way to hide the defeat. The entire world is bored with America and its nuclear arsenal, the only thing they have left after sqaundering their resources on one war too many and useless military bases around the globe. "If China or Russia choose to veto UN sanctions than the US may choose to weld the big stick against these countries" What bigstick is this? What exactly does the US have that Chinese and Russian can't find elsewhere? China is America's banker and China would hardly fund the US so that the US can attack China. Russia has a ton of oil and is nuclear power that the US can do nothing about. America's once military dominance was based on it economic power, now that the ecoomic power has dwindled, the military is useless. The US military cannot be used to reverse America's economic decline, despite what the ignorant jews believe.

Posted by: mypetpig at January 23, 2006 05:00 PM (h6T16)

9 Another stupid jihadist with another stupid screed. And they are not supposed to consume alcohol. Hey, pig, come back when you can speak English, and quit going to Kos for all your info, you dumb ass.

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 23, 2006 05:07 PM (rUyw4)

10 Geez Jesusland joe, Do you believe the mouth on that guy? And to think, he frenched his mom with those lips.You see, that's what happens with inbreeding. What moron didn't realize is that while he is safe (for now)in some far off land, America and Allies have just fortified a new bunker, Iraq. We gave property to a president which in turn will be our friend. If jerk weed thinks he can return safely home to pick up some ammo, he has another thing coming. It played off nicely. Why run around chasing bombers when we can go after the factory? It was one of those, "look, see my right hand, good! As long as you don't see my left". And as usual,America does have one thing left. we can all join the military and show them we are not as lazy as they think we are. I'm always ready to defend this land. "HooraH" "grrr"

Posted by: Taco Bandit at January 23, 2006 05:48 PM (MOKXn)

11 Dream on trailer trash! lol

Posted by: mypetpig at January 23, 2006 06:17 PM (qbjMV)

12 Taco Bandit, What do you expect from a person who had a goat as an ancestor? And a pedophile for a prophet.

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 23, 2006 07:05 PM (rUyw4)

13 You trailer trashers are rather presumptious that i am muslim...i do admitedly have infinate respect for Islam compared to your satanic cespit usa!

Posted by: mypetpig at January 23, 2006 07:08 PM (qbjMV)

14 That's interesting, because I read the other day Mohammed used to give hand-jobs to other tribe members for pennies to substain his lust for young men.

Posted by: dave at January 23, 2006 08:23 PM (CcXvt)

15 Pigboy, where did you learn to spell? You are nothing more than a dumb shit. Begone, you troll! No one here is interested in your drivel.

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 23, 2006 08:28 PM (rUyw4)

16 Thank you for that link. Made my day. Oh yeah ... ATTN 'mypetpig' Have you ever heard the term 'luau'? It's finger lickin' good.

Posted by: Steel Turman at January 23, 2006 08:48 PM (rDIIu)

17 Of all the ingorant, fever-swamp inspired leftard rants I've read, that one's a real beauty! I think I'll copy it and print it off in a nice font on good paper, frame it, and give myself a titter evert day by reading it.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 23, 2006 09:42 PM (0yYS2)

18 Old pigboy is just trying to stir something up since his hero Osama is asking for a truce. We got Osama's son-in-law and a bunch of other al-queda shits last week and pigboy is upset. Pigboy better warn his buddies, we may get them next.

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 23, 2006 10:05 PM (rUyw4)

19 I don't even think he's a muslim. What he says and how he uses it, something is different. I call his bluff. But, for safety sake, he sux billy goat titty. Sincerely, Trailer Trash Taco Bandit

Posted by: Taco Bandit at January 24, 2006 07:49 AM (MOKXn)

20 Damn, I wish I had a trailer!

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 24, 2006 10:37 AM (rUyw4)

21 Good day to everyone, Sorry for the bad English, I'm French Canadian. I've discovered this site not too long ago. It's very interesting and informative. But when I see comments (or should I say delirium) like the one posted by mypetpig, I wonder how a person like that can even breathe without assistance. How can he be so stupid? Amazing... Keep that blog rolling guys, you make my day! Sincerely, Max

Posted by: Max at January 24, 2006 11:30 AM (WM45z)

22 Your only defense so far is calling piggy stupid. Perhaps adopting a broader view of history and the world at large would do some good. Money may grow on trees, afterall, the dollar is just a piece of paper printed up by the private organization known as The Federal Reserve. It's no longer backed by silver or gold, just good faith. When that good faith runs out, so does the value of the paper.

Posted by: mono at January 24, 2006 01:23 PM (7JM/1)

23 And how many other currencies in the world are backed by silver or gold, mono? Just curious?

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 24, 2006 04:14 PM (rUyw4)

24 Mono, We weren't calling piggy stupid. No, we were saying that his lack of intelligence dripped through his vocal chords in an abhorrence manner. OKAY, yeah, we called him stupid. BUT HE STARTED IT!

Posted by: Taco Bandit at January 25, 2006 08:37 AM (MOKXn)

25 I just heard that Miss Chokesondick is teaching her students that Muslims like Kentucky Fried Chicken because taking the skin off the chicken is like removing the veils from their women, except the chicken look more appetizing.

Posted by: Steve Sharon at January 25, 2006 11:55 AM (ZqQAl)

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January 21, 2006

If Charlie Brown Were Muslim

Then the 72 Virgins would all be Marci. Funnyvia Professor Chaos.

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January 19, 2006

War Porn: Music Videos, Iraqi Soldiers Style

Thanks to Steve for sending me this link to The Officer's Club which leads to this this video of Blackwater guys popping members of the Mahdi Army. Searching around I found some cool music videos made by our troops. They are basically home movies set to music, but they are a tribute to the men fighting in Iraq. As Osama bin Laden reminded us today, they are fighting in Iraq so we won't have to fight them here.

Just think of this post as MTV, if MTV actually wanted us to win the war. More videos below the fold including The Offspring, and DVDA's Team America: World Police song America f*ck yeah!

Blink 182, Don't depend on me: Combat Service Support Company 122 near Fallujah.

more...

Posted by: Rusty at 04:15 PM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
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1 Combat Service Support (????) OOOOOOOKKKKK! As CAV RECON all I can say is .... "I want 6 cases of MREs, 2 cases of water, 2 cases Pepsis .. n' 3 cartons of Marboros .. I know you got'em so dont F*** WITH ME! ... YOU! Yeah you! Put down that dounut and USA Today n' ground guide me n' my crews to the ammo point - ASAP! .... "N' WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS DANCIN' IN THE REAR AO! YOU GUYS ARE IN THE F**** ARMY! THIS AIN'T NO FREAKIN' NAVY BILLETS!"

Posted by: hondo at January 19, 2006 06:16 PM (3aakz)

2 Hmmmmm? Appears it may be ... a MARINE UNIT Guess the dancin's OK ... but there's gonna be alot of jealous sailors out there!

Posted by: hondo at January 19, 2006 06:22 PM (3aakz)

3 Ref the Blackwater vid - no context - no idea If anyone's interested (probably not) there is "tension" between Blackwater & like and the military up and down the ranks. Needless to say - I and many many others don't "idolize" them. I can understand - to a degree - the role and purpose they serve - but I'm leery of it. Old hands from 'Nam have seen this before, and are also leery of this "development".

Posted by: hondo at January 19, 2006 06:46 PM (3aakz)

4 Definitely a Boyz and Hardware kinda thing. What a hoot! Not much narrative or context, so there's a long way to go before this will ever get Hollywood into a sweat, but it's something we just don't see anywhere else. Give it time. Thanks Dr. Shackleford!

Posted by: Demosophist at January 19, 2006 07:52 PM (OCYk8)

5 the name of the unknown song is "lonely road of faith" by kid rock

Posted by: maobi at January 19, 2006 09:07 PM (6uNt1)

6 THe remake of "Fortunate Son" is by the Dropkick Murphy's

Posted by: FIAR at January 19, 2006 09:31 PM (14Lib)

7 nice video of Blackwater murderers.... any dingbat can set a camera up and shoot bullets. no evidence any of these rounds hit any targets, military or civilian, but my guess would be they're shooting civilians. great video- amerikkkans killing iraqis in iraq- pat yourselves on the backs again for more wonderful recruitment footage for the mujahedin. sickoz.

Posted by: Jawa Sucks at January 20, 2006 11:45 AM (n3EHA)

8 I could hear the snivelling and whining before I even opened up the comments page. A good libtard is a dead libtard.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 20, 2006 12:52 PM (0yYS2)

9 "sickoz"? Jawa sucks English sucks. What are you?

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 20, 2006 03:31 PM (rUyw4)

10 He's an idiot libtard about 17 years old I should guess.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 21, 2006 10:18 AM (0yYS2)

11 Just thought for those of you that like these kinda music videos, you should check out http://www.grouchymedia.com/ Great site that supports our soldiers through the more artistic side of things. Great films. Grouchy only posts the best of the best.

Posted by: FooDawg at January 21, 2006 12:15 PM (6mI1k)

12 If you like these songs you might enjoy my new American anthem called Freedom's Bell over at my website: http://www.battlehymn911.com. Listen and let me know what you think. Dave

Posted by: Dave at January 21, 2006 06:19 PM (S/nfg)

13 Keep on Rockin' in the Free World is Neil Y. live with Pearl Jam. Throwback to Lollapalooza '92

Posted by: kilowhiskey2 at January 21, 2006 10:51 PM (d6mij)

14 Hondo, Jealousy blatant jealousy.

Posted by: Oldcrow at January 22, 2006 04:14 AM (x65Sm)

15 Here's one of the first movies I ever made: http://luckydawgnews.com/media/Kill_them_All.WMV Kill Them All More where that came from at http://luckydawgnews.com

Posted by: Chris at January 22, 2006 11:19 AM (VWbbC)

16 I think the song 'America, F~ck Yeah!' was supposed to be ironic. I didn't think it was actually meant to be used for a promotional video of America blowing the crap out of some villager's buildings. If you ask me, this stuff is just begging to be used in jihad recruitment videos.

Posted by: Cerbera Speed Twelve at January 22, 2006 06:48 PM (CV//a)

17 Nah, the jihadists like the blood and guts stuff, Cerbera. Slitting throats, cutting off heads, blowing innocent people to bits, now that is recruitment worthy!

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 22, 2006 08:19 PM (rUyw4)

18 Excellent video Chris. And Cerbera? Go hide under your bed and let the adults talk.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 23, 2006 03:36 PM (0yYS2)

19 Jealous of what? You lost me.

Posted by: hondo at January 23, 2006 04:35 PM (3aakz)

20 www.bucksargent.neptune.com The URL for the film trailers to my Iraq documentary to be completed by fall 2006.

Posted by: Buck Sargent at March 06, 2006 04:27 PM (rG0Pp)

21 I love big butts, I just cant help myself, I know alot of ppl out there will disagree with me, But I just love them. For me I just gotta have them

Posted by: Johny Ringo at March 09, 2006 02:13 PM (0BMvF)

22 trackbacklsod

Posted by: blojk at March 11, 2006 04:33 PM (0BMvF)

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January 16, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: The Blog Gods Smile Upon Me Edition

***Fatwas Issued***

Man, I should have bought a Powerball ticket this weekend. Pictures like this just don't come around every day. This one is so good, I'm sticking it to the top of the page for the day. Scroll down for newer content. If something big breaks, any of the co-bloggers can re-set the post time.

Caption this photo of Iranian ~~lunatic~~ ~~psychotic~~ ~~nutcase~~ president Amareadytomeetallah giving a speech to someone somewhere:

Fatwas will be issued Monday. I promise, because I have the next 3 days off.

Suckers. Heh.

Fatwas go out to:

Mr. Venom: "Seriously guys, do you really think I need some Just for Men? The beard's a little grey, sure, but what about these eyebrows? They're beautiful!"

Steve Sharon: "Lance Itoh collected clocks, I collect microphones. Allah has told me to do this."

Gordon: "So den I point I gun at the wabbit. Suddenwey, he jumps up and kisses me fuw on da wips! Scewey wabbit!"

Graeme: "I'm with stupid"

Stephen Macklin: "Say hello to my little friend."

Honorable mention:

Oyster: "The next person to call me Foulmood Almondjeans is gonna get it ... like this, see?"

Improbulus Maximus: "Nobody move or the towelhead gets it!"

Posted by: Vinnie at 02:15 PM | Comments (52) | Add Comment
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January 11, 2006

Gay Cowboy Eating Pudding Critical of West Virginians, Mormons

I wonder what former Grand Kleagle Robert Byrd has to say about this? Via Dan Riehl: Heath Ledger slams West Virginians, Mormons:

"I heard a while ago that West Virginia was going to ban it. But that's a state that was lynching people only 25 years ago, so that's to be expected," Ledger said.
"Personally, I don't think the movie is (controversial) but I think maybe the Mormons in Utah do. I think it's hilarious and very immature of a society.

Yeah, nothing says 'mature' like two guys having sex on the open range. File under: bad gay.

Posted by: Rusty at 11:58 AM | Comments (34) | Add Comment
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1 Ya know, if some idiots want to make a movie about queer cowboys, then hey, it's a free country, right? But by the same token, if the vast majority of We the People are disgusted, repulsed, and sickened by the thought, and choose not to see it, then hey, it's a free country, right? Personally, I'm only glad John Wayne isn't around to see the depths to which we've sunken.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 11, 2006 12:03 PM (0yYS2)

2 John Madden on the subject: "When you think about fag cowboys, you think about Heath Leger, and when you think about Heath Leger, you think about fag cowboys. You take the fag cowboys and Mormons and they just dont go together the way they do with Heath Leger. I mean Heath Leger and fag cowboys go together like Brett Favre and Lambeau Field and cold weather, and what was the question?"

Posted by: Steve Sharon at January 11, 2006 12:16 PM (e/IFH)

3 Words like "Fag" and "Queer" aside. I saw the movie. It's an excellent story of two men, who fall in love. Let's not confuse sex with love. [They find a bond that in another time would be wonderful]. The movie isn't graphic; you donÂ’t see their erect penises, you see them embrace and be tender towards each other. They were forced to remain inside the confines of society. Go see the movie. It wonÂ’t make you gay by watching it, it may even give you something to think about.

Posted by: Chevy at January 11, 2006 12:50 PM (TJt6I)

4 Nicely said Rusty.

Posted by: thirdee at January 11, 2006 12:56 PM (S0mC1)

5 Chevy: what proof do you have that seeing the movie won't make you gay?

Posted by: The Dread Pundit Bluto at January 11, 2006 01:07 PM (RHG+K)

6 I think I'll pass, a movie that is based on the premise of: Homo's, Homo's on the range, where the deer and the antelope play Just isn't my speed. Thanks for the feedback Chevy, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Posted by: dave at January 11, 2006 01:26 PM (CcXvt)

7 Chevy, First of all, queers call themselves queers, so what's good for the goose is good for the gander, especially if the gander's queer. Second, I know what love is, and I know the perfectly natural, asexual, bond that men can form, espcially under trying circumstances; it's called "brotherhood", and it's quite common among soldiers, and yes, cowboys. Wanting to give your buddy a Dirty Sanchez is not the natural expression of amity between men, which is why it's called "queer". Third, I'm not afraid of becoming queer just by watching a movie, though you might have trouble wrapping your simplistic liberal mind around the idea. I just find the whole concept repulsive, and want nothing to do with it, and I damned sure won't support such degeneracy with my money. If you like watching gay cowboy porn, then by all means go ahead, because as I said, it's a free country, but don't expect normal, red-blooded men to go for that shit, 'cause it ain't gonna happen.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 11, 2006 01:32 PM (0yYS2)

8 Chevy, I watched the movie and immediately felt the urge to sodomize my half brother Heath.

Posted by: Nick Barclay at January 11, 2006 01:37 PM (3OPZt)

9 well said Maximus! I personally don't hate queers, just don't want to see the homo mafia in everything that is natural, because it is not! They want rights, give them their rights.........15% off Vaseline now get the *uck back in the Closet(Dice Man was right)

Posted by: Andy at January 11, 2006 02:56 PM (tMU4W)

10 That's it Andy. I have two gay neighbors that are just plain nice guys, and I wouldn't let anyone cause them any trouble, but they know how to keep private matters private, as all people should. I don't really care what consenting adults do with one another, I just don't want to know about it.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 11, 2006 03:22 PM (0yYS2)

11 Stop saying gay cowboys! They're gay sheep herders! Big difference...

Posted by: Chad at January 11, 2006 03:30 PM (E2GpM)

12 Let's just pray this thread doesn't get linked to one of the pro-homo sites. IM, as usual, you cut through the BS and got to the point. Well said, my friend!

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 11, 2006 03:32 PM (rUyw4)

13 Yeah they are sheepherders nobody ever liked them in the old westerns either: the sheep crop the grass to short not like cattle. So if they are to be hung they should be hung as sheepherders not as queers.

Posted by: john Ryan at January 11, 2006 04:18 PM (TcoRJ)

14 Good point on the technicalities, they're damn sure not cowboys. Thanks JJ.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 11, 2006 05:31 PM (0yYS2)

15 They are not gay, they are homosexual. I am not ruining the english language to satisfy a bunch of faggots. Sorry if you do not like my opinion but I think they are disgusting, especially bisexual men who do not tell their wives or girlfriends about their boyfriends. At least Suha Arafag knew about Yasser.

Posted by: Steve Sharon at January 11, 2006 05:32 PM (e/IFH)

16 Faggot traditionally meant a stick of wood, and gay meant happy. Don't know how they got converted to mean polesmoking rump rangers, but that's their current context.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 11, 2006 07:34 PM (0yYS2)

17 >>>I saw the movie. It's an excellent story of two men, who fall in love. So if the two cowboys in question turned out to be long-lost brothers, would it still be an "excellent" and touching story about two men who fall in love? After all, they don't show any erect penises, and they really really love each other.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at January 11, 2006 11:55 PM (8e/V4)

18 They are sheepherders - shepherds! Not cowboys! What's the matter Hollywood? - so out of it you missed that obvious detail? what next - a pickup is a car? Boots are shoes (or just footwear)? Want to make gay love story movies - fine. But please play at least a lil' bit attention to detail! I mean - what next - a gay love story about two sailors filmed against the backdrop of the Arizona desert?

Posted by: hondo at January 12, 2006 07:52 AM (3aakz)

19 So ... they are NOT gay cowboys, but gay shepherds. .... Does this mean they ran out of ewes?

Posted by: charlie at January 12, 2006 09:24 AM (2ZhL/)

20 Their gay cowboys because someone in Hollywood realized that pointing out their actually shepherds opens them up to a lot of old jokes - AND THEY WANT TO BE TAKEN OH SO SERIOUSLY!

Posted by: hondo at January 12, 2006 09:49 AM (3aakz)

21 So two gay sheepherders walk into a bar... Let's have a contest to finish that joke. Howzabowtit?

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 12, 2006 10:29 AM (0yYS2)

22 No, hondo, the people who do these things and write these scripts are ignorant. Not stupid, but ignorant of anything that is not in their little circle. That is the reason they cannot understand how anyone could vote for Bush. They really have no idea about how the vast majority of the people in the US live and think. And honestly, they probably think a cowboy herds sheep. Any three-year old here in Texas would know that not to be true.

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 12, 2006 10:30 AM (rUyw4)

23 They know the difference between herding cattle (cowboys) and herding (is that the word?) sheep (shepherds). I know they do - I'm surrounded by them here in NYC. Ang Lee might not know - but they do.

Posted by: hondo at January 12, 2006 12:47 PM (3aakz)

24 two gay sheepherders walk into a bar..... one turns to the other and says, hey ya wanna get shitfaced ? How's that IM ?

Posted by: memphis761 at January 12, 2006 02:03 PM (D3+20)

25 Sometimes you just have to push the sheep through the fence...

Posted by: George at January 12, 2006 02:07 PM (SyfL7)

26 Sorry, but no. Thanks for playing though, and please try again! How about this: Two gay sheepherders walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "We don't allow you people in here." One of the sheepers responds, "It's okay, we're into rams."

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 12, 2006 04:34 PM (0yYS2)

27 As they sit down at the bar, one says to the otherÂ” Mind if I push in your stool?"

Posted by: Brad at January 12, 2006 04:35 PM (3OPZt)

28 Good try Brad, but it's been done, and we need a whole joke. C'mon peeepul!

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 12, 2006 07:27 PM (0yYS2)

29 So far the only movie reviewer I know who really loved the movie was Mr.Slave of the South Park Daily who gave it two schmeckels up.

Posted by: Steve Sharon at January 13, 2006 09:58 AM (9H6fQ)

30 What's the big deal about their being sheepherders rather than cowboys? You guys keep saying they are sheepherders like that was some kind of bad thing. Fact is sheepherders lived as rugged and difficult life as any cowboy. You ever read anything about the Basque sheepherders of the American west? They were tough guys! Anyway, Jesus portrays himself as a shepherd too! The "Good Shepherd." So how can being a shepherd be a bad thing? btw, it's a pretty good flick. Seems to me a lot of the people here are trashing it without even having seen it!

Posted by: ed jay at January 26, 2006 11:59 AM (11Y2B)

31 Saw the movie. Liked it. Live in Salt Lake City. Larry Miller and his Mormon counterparts can't cram their religion down our throats.

Posted by: Dennis at January 29, 2006 12:12 AM (6Dcjp)

32 Saw the movie. Excellent acting. Story not that believable. Live in Salt Lake City. Larry Miller and his Mormon counterparts can't force their strange religion down the throats of all Utahans.

Posted by: Dennis at January 29, 2006 12:18 AM (6Dcjp)

33 Brokeback Mountain will not get my money. This movie was done because sissy hollywood fags like the idea of big tough butch fags pushing them around (somebody has to be the girl). I mean, look at the village people! So far this movie has grossed 66million dollars. Sounds like a lot. Compare it to the last star wars movie. 108million on its 1st weekend alone. Real Americans know what they want, and this liberal fag cowboy shit is not it. It is being force fed to us.

Posted by: bobby at February 15, 2006 10:26 AM (v53kJ)

34 I grew around sheepherders. I know a little bit about sheepherders. They are hygenically challenged. They spend months at a time out in the wild, not bathing and doing their business in the bushes. They hang around camp fires and get all smokey. Also, they tend to take on the aroma of their charges. The only thing that could be worse would be a pig farmer. Kiss a sheepherder, not on your life, especially after I saw them castrate lambs with their teeth. Yetch! And about knocking Mormans, if the religion works for you, fine, if not, maybe you ought to be a Methodist or something else.

Posted by: Bob Gill at February 21, 2006 04:40 PM (t3jdx)

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January 10, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Matrix Edition

Caption this photo of regular commenter Agent Smith:

Fatwas will be issued.

Someday.

***Fatwas Issued***

Stephen Macklin - "I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance."

lawhawk - "Do you hear that sound Ms. Sheehan. That is the sound of your 15 minutes in an endless feedback loop. It is the sound of your doom.

Goodbye Ms. Sheehan."

Brad - "There is Mr. Liberal, that shows up to work, pays their taxes, and is a productive member of the community. Then there is Donk, a revolutionary behind the computer screen, cheering on the goat-herders-with-a-cause.

Only one of you has a future.

Which one will it be?"

Honorable mention to Mr. Venom - "I can't keep my mouth open forever. Hopefully Vinnie dishes out some fatwas soon."

Posted by: Vinnie at 09:04 PM | Comments (27) | Add Comment
Post contains 143 words, total size 1 kb.

January 04, 2006

See Vinnie Post, See Vinnie Run, Run Vinnie Run!

Hook 'em Horns!

UPDATE:

Hooked!

Two observations:

This sets USC up for even greater humiliation Sept. 16th, 2006.

In two-three years, no one will remember the names Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart, and Vince Young. It's the Heisman Curse (anyone outside of Nebraska remember Eric Crouch?).

That's it for my football blogging. My favorite pro team isn't even in the playoffs.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled mayhem.

Posted by: Vinnie at 08:25 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 hey Shackelford, get this cow off your page

Fight On Trojans!

Posted by: caltechgirl at January 04, 2006 08:33 PM (uI/79)

2 Hey, it's just a Big 12 thing. I'll be happy to go back hating Texas when the game's over.

Posted by: Vinnie at January 04, 2006 08:50 PM (Kr6/f)

3 Am I the only one who finds it amusing that the Longhorns are playing the Trojans?

Posted by: The Dread Pundit Bluto at January 04, 2006 09:17 PM (RHG+K)

4 No, Bluto, I'm laughing my ass off too. And even though I am from Texas, I went to school at the University of Arkansas, so, I still want Texas to win. Haha! WhooooPigggssSooieeeee!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: jesusland joe at January 04, 2006 09:21 PM (rUyw4)

5 I must have missed something - is this a Forrest Gump thing like ... RUN VINNIE RUN

Posted by: hondo at January 04, 2006 09:31 PM (3aakz)

6 hondo, when Rusty sees one of his contributors rooting against USC, my name may as well be Forrest Gump. Actually, it'll be more like Forrest Gimp.

Posted by: Vinnie at January 04, 2006 09:54 PM (Kr6/f)

7 Hey, Vince can avoid the Heisman Curse. Go in the draft, after all He never won it; therefore no Curse. Now ducking Longhorn curses!!!!

Posted by: jmiked at January 05, 2006 02:37 AM (FYsfk)

8 USC wins stupidity award....Reggie Bush's idiotic lateral cost them points in the 1st quarter, not kicking the field goal in the first quarter because of miscommunication from the bench cost them three points, and more than anything...Pete Carroll- are you on crack? 2nd down and 7..less than 3 minutes to go and up five- incomplete pass stops the clock and leaves team in 3rd and long! Dummy! CLOCK MANAGEMENT! and then, two plays later, you punt you jackass!!!! never go for it at midfield, particularly when a TD can beat you and your defense SUCKS!

Posted by: Steve Sharon at January 05, 2006 05:11 AM (S1ta7)

9 Don't forget the most brilliant coach of our time [at least according to the hype] also called his last time out on a meaningless 2 point conversion trailing by 1 with 26 seconds left on the clock; thus costing his team at least one additional play to attempt to tie or win. Frankly, Texas played like crap for most of the game and couldn't get out of their own way, but won anyway because of three factors: 1. PRIDE. Young picked up the team, put it on his shoulders and carried them to victory, but not without the Texas defense [finally] asserting itself in the last 5 minutes. 2. TALENT. Texas just had more of it, especially defensively. and 3. STUPIDITY: Did Pete Carol watch ANY film on Texas? His defensive game plan took away Jamal Charles and Seldon Young and forced the ball into the hands of Vince Young. How dumb is that? Mac Brown, on the other hand, correctly decided to take away Reggie Bush and force Matt Leinart to win or lose the game. Hook'em Horns!!!

Posted by: Charlie at January 05, 2006 08:37 AM (2ZhL/)

10 (Unbiased opinion as a non-fan of either team) Re: Pete Carroll/USC hype Remember Pete was an NFL coach who couldn't make it due to, among other things, clock mismanagement, bad game plans, etc. So this is really no surprise. He has been talked about as getting another chance in the NFL but I think he's just a good college coach who has been blessed with good talent. USC spent much of the season pulling victories out of a hat in the 4th quarter against weaker teams. I'm not saying that they didn't deserve to be in the game because they did win when they had to but most of #3 - #10+ were pretty weak compared to other years. Even at 11-1, I think Penn State is one of the weaker #3 teams in a long time. It took them 3 OTs to beat the #23 team. I think Ohio State should have finished at #3. Penn State reminds me of 'that' team every year that comes from out of nowhere for one season and then slinks back to reality the following year. Even though he'll probably be the #1 pick, it appears that Reggie Bush might be human after all and his value may have dropped just a little. I have a buddy with season tickets to the Texans and go to a few games with him and Reggie won't have a good OL as it stands right now and will be going up against pro defenses that are designed to stop the run first. I do think he'll be a good player eventually but don't think he'll be an impact player without someone to block. I also heard hype last night about USC's defense 'possibily being the best ever' and how they might be able to beat a few NFL teams. Uh, yeah. I will say one good thing about Pete Carroll since it was mentioned that he didn't have a game plan for Young. I don't think any college defense can shut him down for long so it looks like Carroll was hoping to shut down his main targets and cross his fingers that the line could contain him. That's the problem with a QB who is as good a running back as a QB and the reason a lot of pro teams are going that direction - because the QB doesn't usually have a man assigned directly to him unless it's a blitz. Again, (mostly) unbiased but I haven't bought into all the hype for USC for most of the year and got real sick of it. Now I can go back to hating UT.

Posted by: slug at January 05, 2006 11:15 AM (wcNc2)

11 Eric Crouch is just the tip of that iceberg. Jason White - 2003 Chris Weinke - 2000 Danny Wuerffel - 1996 Rashaan Salaam - 1994 Charlie Ward - 1993 Gino Torretta - 1992 Andre Ware - 1989 And that's just the last 20 years. Just shows that you can be an average athlete and still put up huge numbers in college.

Posted by: Mark at January 05, 2006 01:25 PM (ga+7P)

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January 03, 2006

Washington Resolutions

Everyone makes New Year's Resolutions (except me). This year I thought it would be fun to take a look at some of the resolutions made by some of our more esteemed politicians. Feel free to add as necessary.

John McCain - I resolve that in 2006 I will make up my mind on an issue. I'm not sure which issue yet.
Nancy Pelosi - I resolve that in 2006 I will not get any more botox treatments
Dick Durbin - I resolve that in 2006 I will give up my Taliban membership
President Bush - I resolve that in 2006 I will act like a true fiscal conservative and not let Congress run wild
John Murtha - I resolve that in 2006 I will not try to make everyone think I'm a military genius just because I've been in the Marines
John Edwards - I resolve that in 2006 I will not spend 3/4 of my time on my hair
Harry Reid - I resolve to put up a bigger searchlight. Obviously the voters didn't see the last one.
Ted Kennedy - I resolve to quit drinking. No, that would be too hard. I resolve to not drown anyone else. Maybe. As long as I'm not driving drunk.
Barbara Boxer - I resolve to eliminate men from the planet in 2006
Dianne Fienstein - I resolve to marry Barbar Boxer in 2006
John Kerry - I resolve that in 2006 I will not get any more botox treatments. Or go to any more tanning beds.
Dick Cheney - I resolve not to talk so much in 2006.
Karl Rove - I resolve to utterly destroy the Democratic party in 2006. Or in 2008 if we fail this year.

Posted by: Drew at 11:14 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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January 02, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Let This Be A Lesson Edition

Caption this photo of ~~Dr. Drunken Schnockeredford~~ Dr. Rusty Shackleford celebrating ~~Amateur Night~~ New Year's Eve, 2005:

Remember, kids, don't drink and drive.

You might spill it.

Happy New Year from my family to you and yours!

~~Fatwas will be issued Monday.~~

Fatwas issued:

DCarter, for "Look, everbody! Rusty's really baked this time"

lawhawk, for "That's what happens when you take the red stapler off my speeder..."

Bubbe, for "Get the bicycle pump, boys. He's done it again."

Honorable mention to hondo, for sheer tenacity.

Posted by: Vinnie at 05:22 PM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
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