A patriarchal court system probably won't allow this type of lawsuit to get too far.

A Brazilian woman is suing her partner for not giving her orgasms.

According to Terra Noticias Populares reports, the unnamed 31-year-old filled (sic) a complaint at Chacar Urbana Police station in Jundiai, in the state of Sao Paulo.

She complained that her 38-year-old partner reached an orgasm and then simply stopped the sexual intercourse.

Police chief Jose Roberto Ferraz is investigating the case.

A police spokesperson said: "We will look into it, we will treat it as an ordinary complaint and let the judge decide." (Source)

Uh ... Right?

On the other side of the world in a somewhat related report from Xinhua, a nation-wide poll of Chinese women this past weekend found that "nearly one-in-eight women, 12.4 per cent, said they rarely or never experienced sexual pleasure." Furthermore, the poll also found that about "25 per cent of wives are disappointed with service between the sheets."

Jeez! Twenty-five percent of the married women in a country of 1.2 billion people has got to be at least tens of millions of desperate housewives. To put the number in perspective, it appears that there may be more frustrated women in China than the entire population of France.

In all candor, I'm flummoxed by reports of unsatisfied women. Even though my personal sample size is statistically insignificant, I've heard not a single complaint.

Companion post at Interested-Participant.

Posted by: Mike Pechar at 11:28 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Caption this photo of me (Vinnie), Howie, See-Dubya, and Mike Pechar at the last Jawa Report Contributor's meeting.

Fatwas will be issued sometime before Monday Night Football.

(I can't remember who's standing on the left, just barely in the picture, could be Demosophist, maybe Bluto. Then again, I don't remember much about that meeting...who would?)

We have fatwas

Graeme for "Rusty Shackelford had always wanted to be like Hugh Hefner, but high operating costs prevented him from realising his dream. That is, until he found four contributors who weren't inclined to read their contracts properly."

Filthy Allah for "Dear Sweet Christ. This is better than Scott Baio hopped up on Goofballs and half naked! I have not seen so many sexy seniors in ages! Are those scars from Oatmeal burns?"

Jesusland Joe for "It's burqa time, baby!"

Honorable Mention:

Rodney Dill for "Even though he's been out of office for a while, Internship wannabe's line up daily at 15 Old House Lane in Chappaqua, NY."

Sorta Dishonorable Mention, But Would Have Been A Winner If He Had Read The Rules, Which I Email Out Every Saturday Without Fail, I Swear:

Matt, for "OK, can't use image tags, but here's my entry" (dude, you can't answer a question with a question, and you can't caption a picture with a picture even if it is hilarious).

Only mentioning it because he frightens me Mention:

Mr. Venom, for "While still searching for the elusive weapons of mass destruction, U.N. weapons inspectors announce the discovery of Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass disgust."

Dishonorable Mention:

I couldn't decide between the two, but they know who they are.

Posted by: Vinnie at 07:29 PM | Comments (28) | Add Comment
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(Columbus, Ohio) In 1861, the Ohio Statehouse in Columbus was officially completed and President Abraham Lincoln spoke before a joint session of the Ohio Legislature in the House Chamber. Since that time, the venerable and historic building has been the enduring center of law for the people of the State of Ohio.

Unfortunately, during the same time period, the Ohio Statehouse also became home to an enduring infestation of rats. For well over a century, Ohio's elected lawmakers have lived in uncompromised harmony with buck-toothed, omnivorous, and disease-carrying rats.

That is, until about a year ago, when a dozen or so stray pussycats started making themselves at home on the Statehouse grounds. Despite their cozy coexistence with the legislators, the rats could not get along with feral felines. So, the rats moved. According to spokeswoman Pat Groseck, of the Capitol Square Review and Advisory Commission,

"The cats have done a yeoman's job. There have been no rat-sighting reports since the cats have been there."

Or, is it? There are no reports of how the influx of feral cats has affected the songbird population. Typically, a vigorous feral cat population will eradicate all songbirds in the area. Gone are the sweet chirps and calls of cardinals, robins, and chickadees. Call it an unintended consequence.

In closing, I'm skeptical of the assertion that all of the rats have left the Statehouse. If true, how come my taxes keep going up?

Companion post at Interested-Participant.

Posted by: Mike Pechar at 05:16 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Stupid criminals, that is....

OMAHA, Neb. -- An Omaha police lieutenant and an officer said they were working at the front desk of police headquarters Monday night when they noticed people sitting a car parked in a handicap parking space.

When the pair walked up to the car, they smelled what they believed to be methamphetamine.

A search proved them right.

The suspect was taken to Creighton University Medical Center, where he agreed to have two small plastic bags of meth removed from his stomach, according to a police report.

Hey, at least they were parked in the right spot....

Posted by: Vinnie at 10:42 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Great news, men (and our good gay counterparts)!

The opposite gender's most feared weapon of mass destruction has been disarmed!

We now can control the remote all four weeks of the month!

Arise, O men of the West!

Posted by: Vinnie at 10:26 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I has just been revealed to me that now is the time for the Jawa Report to issue its unofficially official opinion concerning the vacant Supreme Court seat.

The officially unofficial opinion is thus:

We, the squeaky voiced short guys in the brown robes and cheap flashlights for eyes, do hereby vehemently oppose the nomination of John Roberts to replace Sandra Day O'Connor on the Supreme Court.

We now return you to your current psychosis, already in progress.

Posted by: Vinnie at 03:32 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The Times-Picayune devoted Sunday's front page to the story of 20-year-old Jabar Gibson who was kicked out of high school and has been committing felonies ever since. In his own words, Gibson says, "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, a lot of times." A prudent observer would have predicted that his future had been pretty well set. But Jabar Gibson's life changed dramatically because of Hurricane Katrina.

Gibson stole a school bus, loaded it with 60 of New Orleans' poorest residents, the youngest a week-old infant and the oldest 59, and drove to Houston. Gibson was the driver of what has become known as "the renegade bus" that was the first to arrive in Houston with Hurricane Katrina evacuees.

From NOLA.com:

Gibson acknowledges he stole the bus, although in what has become Katrina lingo, he "commandeered" it to rescue himself and his neighbors. While the storm's floodwaters ultimately did not advance into Algiers, there was no way of knowing that in the chaotic Tuesday morning after the storm. Water was filling up the east bank, Mayor Ray Nagin was on the radio that afternoon predicting several feet on St. Charles Avenue, and panicked residents crossed the bridge to the West Bank, telling tales of impending doom.

"The police was leaving people behind. I had to pick up people on the bus. The police didn't want to do nothing. We stepped up and did what we had to do," said Gibson, who declined to say more because he since has agreed to a movie deal that prohibits interviews.

Companion post at Interested-Participant.

Posted by: Mike Pechar at 02:48 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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All the other big blogs do it, why not this one?

Open thread, go ahead and beat each other up in the comments.

One caveat.

Comments containing the words "Harriet" and/or "Miers" will be summarily deep-sixed. So will any comments containing the words "Scott Baio" and "goat."

Have at you!

Posted by: Vinnie at 02:44 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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A survey of British men found that they thought about having sex 20 times daily. Unfortunately, the same survey found that they had sex approximately once a week. So, there are 140 simulations for every actual performance. With so many rehearsals, one would imagine that each performance is a classic.

On the other hand, the survey found women thinking of having sex a mere six times daily, 42 times per week. Nevertheless, they are twice as busy as men in actual performance, with two actual love-making sessions per week.

As a simple math problem, I haven't figured it out. Assuming essentially equal numbers of men and women in Britain, how in the world can men average having sex once a week while the women average twice a week?

Companion post at Interested-Participant.

Posted by: Mike Pechar at 06:41 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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"C" at Way Off Bass admits the un-admittable in the process of reviewing The 40 Year Old Virgin: he is a 40 year old virgin. No, I haven't seen the movie yet, but after reading his review I think I sort of have to.

So, why am I writing this post after I swore off blogging for the time being? Because such self-revealing, brave, and honest writing is rare in the blogosphere. Go give it a look.

Ok, yes I'm blogging but this kind of post takes seconds.

And if you're a single-gal, in the Los Angeles area, Mormon, who is into poetry, doesn't mind geeks, and looking to get married, I can recommend no one better than "C" to ask out on a date. It's a start.

And once the two of you do get hitched, for the love of all that is holy, please help "C" out with his, er, problem....

Posted by: Rusty at 09:07 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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The New York Times, then and now. Click on the thumbnails for a larger image.

Posted by: Drew at 07:38 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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You be the judge:

Is this Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers or is it Rachel Dratch in an SNL skit?

Is this Rachel Dratch or is this Harriet Miers guest hosting on SNL with Andy Richter and Lindsay Lohan?

Tough call, but this would explain a lot......

Posted by: Rusty at 10:13 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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