March 22, 2005

The Left Blogospheres Gay-Outing McCarthyism

Here are the winners of last blog-sabbaths caption contest. Winners were chosen arbitrarily by my lawyer, Rusty Shackleford.

Buckley F. Williams: In a misguided attempt to dispel rumors that he is a homosexual, Republican National Committee chair Ken Mehlman takes time to pose for the new JC Penney catalog.

Wavemaker: "....and when I saw in the locker room that Rogers and Aravosis were this big, I said to them, 'no wonder you're gay!'.."

Jack M. Redcorn: "And after I saw that Jeff Gannon was this big (cut!), I made damn sure he got his press credentials..."

Runner up goes to me, for the obvious Mr. Garrison comparison....

"When a reporter notices that the word 'penis' occurs 6,083 times in his new novel, Ken Mehlman replies, 'Well, women want to read about ding-dongs! D'you thnk women care about the details of female anatomy?! Hel-lo! Women wanna read about big, poweful schlongs!'

Of course, this caption contest was inspired by the leftosphere's gay McCarthyism.

Gay-witch hunting that still seems to take up so much time for the left-blogosphere--and trust me it's going to get much worse before it gets better.

Recently, the good folks who brought you the Jeff Gannon / James Guckert outing have set their eyes on higher office. In a forthcoming edition of GQ magazine it will be revealed that Ken Mehlman, the Republican National Committee Chairman, is their next target.

Evidence that Mehlman is gay? Well ,he's not married. He seems to be pretty clean. And no one has seen him on a date recently.

Sounds like a lot of guys I know. Most of the time I just call them loser.

Anyway, Mehlman has denied that he's gay. I'm sure this won't satisfy the leftosphere. They won't be satisfied until they out a prominent Republican. And if there are pictures--hot man-on-man action pictures--all the better.

Cause you know, all that feminists really want to see are pictures of penises. Hot flopping penises. A Redwood forest of penises......

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. Is Ken Mehlman gay?

Shouldn't the obvious answer be who cares?

There is an orthodoxy on the left that gays must be Democrats. That Republicans hate gays. That to be gay means automatic support for gay marriage.

The worst part about this orthodoxy is that gays who don't toe the party line are considered worse than enemies.

They are considered traitors.

And traitors, as you know, must be rooted out. Exposed.

It's a kind of McCarthyism. Only McCarthy was at least trying to root out real traitors--people who he believed were giving away America's nuclear secrets.

McCarthy, however wrongly he pursued those goals, at least had worthy goals. He was trying to save America from a very real threat.

Can the gay-outing McCarthys of the left say the same thing? Is the goal of gay-marriage so fundamentally important that destroying the lives and reputations of people is worth it?

In my mind the gay-outing left better take a good long look in the mirror and ask if such destruction is really worth it in the long run.

History has past judgement on McCarthy, and so too will it pass judgement on those who employ his tactics in much less important a cause.

Confederate Yankee has some more thoughts.

Update: Is McCarthy on everyone's mind, or what?

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March 21, 2005

Saudis Behead Man for Murder, Rape and BLACK MAGIC

The Saudis do that voodoo that they do so well--beheading people. Yes, practicing magic, the dark arts, witchcraft, voodoo, whatever you want to call it is a capital offense under Islamic law. Yes Timmy, that means they kill you....JPOST:

A Saudi man was executed Monday for murdering a compatriot and having illicit sex with women by using sorcery to trick them, the Interior Ministry said.

Zayed bin Ali bin Saleh al-Thabiti al-Maliki was executed in Taif, a city in western Saudi Arabia, bringing the number of people beheaded in Saudi Arabia this year to 29.

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Congrats

Congrats to Jay Dawg Quinton who is now engaged to be married.

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March 19, 2005

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest

In light of this post, caption this photo of Republican National Committee chair Ken Mehlman. Winners announced Monday.

UPDATE: Eeek, is it already 6:30?!? Winners announced tomorrow.

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Democratic Underground on Terri Schiavo

Hundred Percenter has more of the Lefts disgusting disregard for life:

I said "Terri Schiavo has the same likelihood of swallowing as a Chia Pet." Other things with the
same likelihood of swallowing as Terri Schiavo:
- A slab of granite
- A watermelon
- A hubcap from a 1989 Ford Escort
- Play-Doh
- etc.

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March 18, 2005

Basil Rules, Rusty Drools

Oh wait...what was that I was saying about Frank J. being a schill? Since Basil is also a sponsor My Pet Jawa let me just say a few nice things about him.

a) He's smart. b) He's funny. c) He's sexy.

Not Jeff Gannon sexy, but sexy. Go visit Basil!

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One, Two, Three, Four, I Proclaim a Blog War

Unlike that wuss Frank J. who is obviously a corporate shill, I hereby declare loyalty to Keith Taylor.

Gizoogle ... Paris Hilton's Cell Phone Number ... The Niggas at DFNCTSC ... Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers ... Girls Big Tit ... Free Big Tit Sites ... Jamie Lynn Spears Naked

Why? Because he asked.

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March 16, 2005

Spring Break Bleg

Reminder: I'm on Spring Break. If you have an interesting post or a news item, please e-mail me with it. That way I don't spend all day surfing the web for this stuff.

Thanks,
The Management

PS-and by "interesting" I don't mean the latest Jessica Alba FHM spread!

PPS-Where are my collaboraters on this thing? Demosophist?.... BRD? Interested Participant? ... Bueller? Any one...?

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March 15, 2005

Jawa Report Celebrates One Million Visitors

UPDATE: 1 million mark passed!!!!!! (PS--sorry about trackback spam.....stupid MT keeps pinging and pinging and pinging...big apologies)

sitemeter1millionvisits.gif

sitemeterviews2mill.gif

Some time in the next couple of hours my Jawa will have been petted by at least 1 million visitors. It is done!!!!!! Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!

Thanks all for the constant barage of referrals, positive feedback, and serious fun.

A few shout outs are in order.

First, the Commissar who gave me early encouragement and let me guest blog for him last year.

Next, a shout out to the OG pimptastik wicked gang. These are like-minded bloggers like the Llama Butchers, Bill at INDC, Jeff Goldstein, Iowahawk, Cranky Neocon, Six Meat Buffet, Ace, Allah, Prof. Chaos, BRD, Way Off Bass, Demosophia, and a bunch more that I just can't recall in my present caffeine-free state or who have given up the blogging gig. These are bloggers who were kind enough to throw me links early on, when I was getting like 100 hits a day. They also would show up on my site regular enough that it made a petite blogger feel like Macktastick Rusty Wicked.

Let me also thank the hundreds of other smaller bloggers who throw links my way on a very regular basis. You guys are awesome--totally awesome. As I've explained on numerous occasions the fact that I blog anonymously prohibits me commenting on your site. However, I do read just about every post that trackbacks to me. Also, if you have a post that needs a plugging, just e-mail me and I'll try to do it. I know how much it meant to me when Allah plugged an early post, so I try to return the favor as often as I can.

Last, let me tell you the six degrees of seperation for My Pet Jawa. My original inspiration for blogging came from Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs. After 9/11 a few buddies in grad school and I realized that we were pretty much on the same page. 'Boomhauer', 'Bill Dauterieve' and me, Dale Gribble Rusty Shackleford, sort of ganged up on our poor Chomskyite friend who was against the Afghanistan invasion. I think originally we started meeting in the alley for brews because we felt so out of place amongst our peers in grad school who were appalled at Shrimp-Chub-Hitler-Bush's response to 9/11. I don't know how Chomsky-lite started to hang out in the alley with us. It was probably because unlike most other disciples of the Maharaja-Chomsky, he had a sense of humor and he was into chicks. That--and his mutual love of dick and fart jokes.

Somehow or another I did an internet search trying to refute Chomsky's drivel and eventually found my way to LGF. Boomhauer and I then started a now defunct group blog. It got old quick, especially when sitemeter told us that like 10 people a day were reading it. Eventually I got a job here and Boomhauer got a job in another part of the country so we stopped blogging.

However, I didn't stop reading blogs. From LGF I started surfing his blogroll of anti-idiotarians. It was there that I found Iowahawk, Emperor Misha of the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler, and the illustrious and semi-retired Allah. The Commissar had a blog-ad going over at Allah's at the time. I visited these sites as often as I could, which wasn't that often. It was my first year teaching at a university so a lot of prep time.

One day Bill Dauterieve calls me up and says, "Dude, I'm starting a blog again." This time he would put his real name up on the blog, his CV, and all that jazz. Me? Never one to be out done by Bill, I went over to blogspot to sign up once again. But what to name the blog? How about something really offensive? Yeah. Something that only South Park fans would get. Jawas. Yeah. How about like Emperor Misha's blog which is actually at 'nicedoggie.net'? Nice Jawa? Ouch--that certainly is offensive.

But wait, let's up it a notch. I kept thinking of that stupid TV production bumper "Sit Ubu sut, good dog." How about My Pet Jawa? (Mr. Burns) Excellent. Within an hour I had designed the initial layout of the site. I chose green because it is the sacred and holy color of the Religion of Peas. That, and I sort of ripped it off from Allah.

That was a little over a year ago. Last summer a couple of blog friends, namely Simon and BRD, convinced Pixy Misa to give me an mu.nu account. I changed the name from My Pet Jawa to the Jawa Report cause I wanted to hoodwink a few unnamed websites into believing that we were a legitimate source of news. (Nelson Munz) Ha-ha! The rest is, as they say, history.

I've had a lot of good times on the way. Plenty of links from big sites like Michelle Malkin, Little Green Footballs, Outside the Beltway, Wizbang, Vodka Pundit, and others--including a solitary Eschaton link and a single Instalanche.

Plenty of more from my devoted cadre of fellow-travellers and minions including:

Interested Participant, Hans Bricks, Team Hammer, Incite, Vince aut morire, Right Wing Nuthouse, Pirate's Cove, Digger's Realm, Jeff Quinton, Robert Spencer, Dean Esmay, Scott S., Mike King, John Donovan, Captain Ed, John Little, John Henke, Chad Evans, Rob of Say Anything, Spoons, Editors in Pajamas, Goldfalcon, Sundries Shack, Cox and Forkum, American Soldier, Jane Novack, Sworn Enemy, Julliette, Jeff at Beautiful Attrocities, Blog Tower, Sparse Matrix, Cal Tech Girl, Dummocrats, Flea, SondraK, Kate at Small Tasty Dead Animals, Mr. K, Zippo the Pirate, Scared Monkeys, Joe Gandelman, Myopic Zeal, Jack Lewis, Beth of MYVRWC, Maximum Leader, Chris Cross, Passionate America, Daniel Aronstein, Misplaced Keys, Hyscience, HispaLibertas, and a bajillion others.

I even have two blog children (as far as I know--wink, wink): Brian B. of Memento Moron and tee_bee!

So, while the rest of you are busy typing away on today's important events, I think I'll kick back, eat some meat, and take it easy. Thanks one and all. Biyatches!!!

UPDATE: Sorry about multiple trackback pings. Seriously, something went screwy with this thing.

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March 14, 2005

Spring Break

Just a reminder....I'm on Spring Break so that's why posting is light.

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Blog Sabbath Caption Contest Winners

Here are the winners to yesterday's caption contest. Winners are chosen arbitrarily by me.

1) Eric at Vince Aut Morire:

Hugo: You're more anti-American!
Jacques: Non! You're more anti-American!
Hugo: I insist! You're more anti-American!
Jacques: Non! You are!
Hugo: No! You are!
Jacques: I surrender!

2) Ricardo Verde:

.....expressing mutual condolence on the loss of Moe.

3) Frank Villon of You've Been Told:

Jacques: Embrasse-moi, mon petit étalon hispanique!
Hugo: Besame mucho, cabron francés!

Special Mention to Brian Blazevic of New Eagle for gratuitous use of the term 'hot karl'

Cowardice and Petulance embrace after agreeing to keep Venezuelan oil away from America - and a "hot karl" just off camera.

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Morning Linkfest

Here are a few good morning reads. I'm on Spring Break so posting will be light.

Giuliana Sgrena 'demanding' answers from US government.

Good news from Iraq--civilians helping the military.

US rendition program a success.

Chris Short is at Sea World and has a touching story of a tribute to our troops.

The Carnivorous Conservative has the story of Iwo Jima. Very cool. My grandfather was a Marine killed in the Marianas campaign and is buried in the Punch Bowl.

Hundred Percenter interviews John Hawkins--something of a role reversal.

Decison '08 now laying odds on Hilary Clinton's run.

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March 12, 2005

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest

Caption this photo of Jacques Chirac hugging Hugo Chavez. The winner gets this shiny quarter and a free plug.

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Spring Break Blogging

It's Spring Break around here. I'm going to try to do some academic work over the break. Contrary to popular belief, the Middle East is not my field of expertise.

As I explained on the radio the other night, I put a pretty big wall of seperation between my professional writing and my blog writing. To be honest, I get kind of annoyed at some bloggers who wear their academic credentials on their coat sleeves. As if the type of work that we publish on our blogs are somehow related to our academic disciplines. They are not.

My blog writing has gotten more intense as of late, but I've allowed my professional research and writing fall off quite a bit.

I'll be posting, but posting will be much lighter than usual.

UPDATE: In lieu of reading posts, why not offer some good vibes and a prayer for Brian B. Looks like he's going to have to be the sole bread winner for awhile. Welcome to the club, man. I've been supporting Mrs. Shackleford for going on 4 years now. It aint easy, but it's worth it.

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March 11, 2005

Gone Fishing

I need a break. Going fishing.

UPDATE: Back early. Got skunked. Water level was much lower than I expected and wind was way up. Nice to get out, though.

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March 10, 2005

The Dan Rather Farewell Post

Dan who?

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March 09, 2005

Calling All Hackers

Let me just put in a quick plug for Hagganah Internet. What we do here is make fun of terrorists and expose their evil agenda. What he does there is he takes those bitches out!

What many in America do not understand is that terrorists are linked together with a common ideology. That ideology is not 'terrorism'. 'Terrorism' is a means to an end, the end, however is just as frightening as the means. The ends are the global caliphate under sharia law as first envisioned by The Muslim Brotherhood at the fall of the Turkish empire.

I condemn the IRA, but I don't consider them a major threat to Western Civilization. On the other hand, The Muslim Brotherhood has (at least publicly) renounced violence yet I consider them a far more dangerous organization.

The jihadi networks are bound together through internet sites and discussion boards where they give each other support, instruction, and even coordinate attacks.

The FBI and CIA still operate in pre-9/11 mode when it comes to these terrorist web sites. That is, the operators of these websites are largely ignored or when attention is paid to them it is in the guise of a criminal indictment. If 9/11 taught us anything, it is that we cannot treat the jihadi terrorists as criminals. This is war, and pro-active cyber-warfare must be part of that strategy.

Internet Hagganah is committed to exposing the terrorists by revealing the web sites they use and hosting companies which allow them to operate. Many might be surprised to learn that the majority of jihadi websites are hosted on American or European servers.

If you have, er, special skills that might help in taking down some of these websites you might want to pay Aaron's Internet Hagganah a visit.

In the past few weeks a number of jihadi sites have been, er, forced to find other hosts. For instance, the Aaryan Nation website which openly encourages the jihad against America has recently been *cough* shut down.

If you don't have these special skills, another strategy is to contact the webhost and pressure them to remove the terrorists' content. Internet Hagganah on an almost daily basis reveals who those webhosts are. For instance, a company in Denmark has been hosting a website which raises money under the guise of an 'Islamic Charity' but which openly boasts in Arabic about how those funds are used in Iraq to fuel the insurgency.

Last bleg--if you want to help make Internet Hagganah a semi-regular visit.

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Wow....

.....man, I miss living in the Mountain West. This is why.

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WTW: Instalanche vs. Instant Lunch

I finally got an Instalanche!! Thank you Glenn Reynolds, my life is now complete. I now feel...what's the word? Violated. No, I mean validated.

But contrary to popular belief, an Instalanche isn't the end-all-be-all of blogging. In fact, as a member of that class of Americans known as "white trash" (we prefer to be called people of the soil, but that aint gonna happen) I would prefer an instant lunch over an instalanche.

Resurrected from the vast archives of My Pet Jawa, here is a classic to celebrate my first real Instalanche and White Trash Wednesday. Instalanche vs. Instant Lunch.

How do the two compare?

Instalanche-immediate spike in traffic, lasting up to 48 hours.
Instant Lunch-immediate spike in sodium level, MSG headache up to 12 hours.

Instalanche-expect at least two or three bloggers to get a kick out of your post and add you to the blogroll.
Insant Lunch-expect at least two or three co-workers to get a kick out of you eating the sh*t they swore they'd never touch again their first day out of college.

Instalanche-a sudden feeling of self-satisfaction knowing that somehow your post drew the attention of the right-blogosphere's top blogger.
Instant Lunch-a sudden feeling of stomach-satisfaction, with the caveat that the empty calories you just scarfed down will leave you lethargic for the rest of the day.

Instalanche-with the sudden spike in traffic you can now up your Blog Ad rate to just under covering your total monthly ISP and blog host bill.
Instant Lunch-with the money you saved by eating cheap MSG laden quasi-Asian food you can now afford to run to the video store and rent the latest Adam Sandler film--only to find that you remember neither the food nor the film in the morning.

I'm off to edumacate the masses. For more White Trash Wednesday fun, visit these sites:


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Dale Grib Rusty Shackleford and Friends on Sgrena Shooting

Bill Dauterive
But Chris Matthews said the eyetalian reporter said the guys that that kidnapped her said the Americans didn't want her to get out alive. Why would he say she said they said that?

Dale Gribble Rusty Shackleford
It's a conspiracy! I told you before, this all goes back to Bush bein' a member of Skull and Bones.

Hank Hill
Damnit Dale! Dubya is a Texan, and there are three things that I can't abide by - people speakin' ill of the president of the United States, people speakin' ill of Texans, and people speakin' ill of propane and propane accessories.

Dale Gribble
I still say the Illuminati are involved in this somehow.

John from Wuzzadem has the rest.

and speaking of Giuliana Sgrena, Phin went Moonbat watching and spotted the illusive "journalista osor americanus antepilanum" in its native habitat here.

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