Peter Mayhew the extremely tall actor underneath the Chewbacca suit will be sworn in as a new American citizen next week in Arlington Texas. FOXNEWS:

Mayhew, 60, played the fur-covered warrior Chewbacca must be a legal permanent resident for five years before becoming a citizen. The wait is three years if the person marries a U.S. citizen. He also must pass history, English and civics examsÂ… Â…"I am feeling very happy about it," Mayhew said. "Whatever people say about America, it is still one of the most wonderful countries in the world

Image credit and thanks to the very young and very talented Ben Marriot at sockyspace

Posted by: Howie at 10:56 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Nerves of steel no more
In calcium carbonate
My salvation lies.

Posted by: Rusty at 09:29 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Heeeeeeere's Rusty!

I never knew writing a book could be so maddening.

It's not so much that my finger keeps saying redrum to me or the annoying bartender constantly demanding I murder Jawa readers, as it is the tedium of writing the same lines over and over again.

No beer and no TV make Homer a something something.

UPDATE: I'm perfectly sane I tell you. And so am I.

Posted by: Rusty at 04:50 PM | Comments (24) | Add Comment
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Due to a violation of The Jawa Reports' strict policy of supporting only the 'good gay' (you know, two hot chicks), the editorial board has removed today's WTW post. We apologize if this post has caused any uncomfortable imagery and/or feelings of unresolved anxiety and confusion.

Read the following in your most exaggerated masculine voice.

After a long hard day punching cattle the sweat drips off your manhood cause you're a man and sweat like only a man can. And when a man wants to know what a man wants to know when a man wants a mans taste. And when a man really wants to know what a man wants to know when a man really wants a man's taste. That taste is the taste of Wriglers Beef Flavored Gum. And now Wriglers introduces new barbecue beef flavored gum. From Wriglers the meat lovers gum.

more...

Posted by: Howie at 08:42 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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What a punk. Fiesty I'll toss you a link and hang in there. Rotate passwords often.

Hi friends...Someone I used to date got ahold of my Feisty username and password and decided to get revenge on me by deleting my entire blog because it means something to me to write.

Again what a jerk.

Posted by: Howie at 05:01 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Caption this photo of the leader of Islamic Jihad, Mohammed Al Hindi.

A fatwa will be issued Monday against the winners.

Fatwas have been issued!:

T. Azeredo - "An inch of Hindi is 2.54 cm of Love"

Charlotte- "Don't worry, children. Blowing yourself up feels just like a little bee sting.
You can trust me- I'm a pediatrician."

MonkMojo - "I'm crushing your head, I'm crushing your head..."

Honorary fatwa for gratuitous Harriet Miers mention:

YJLAW - "And I was this far from the nomination. But nooooooo, George said Harriet Meirs will piss my constituents off more. By Allah's goat, its the story of my life..."

Posted by: Rusty at 04:52 PM | Comments (40) | Add Comment
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I'm going on blog sabbatical starting immediately. No more than a single post daily for the rest of the month. Things should return to normal after then. Sorry, but I have some deadlines that have to be met and such. And then there's that family commitment thing. In the meantime I'm here, I'm just not here, if you get my drift.

Posted by: Rusty at 04:19 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Congratulations are in order for James Joyner of OTB who is getting married tonight. Good luck and may God bless your marriage as he has mine.

Posted by: Rusty at 02:08 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Liberal blog classifies The Jawa:

The Jawa Report - Their motto is a quote from Thomas Mann: “Tolerance:A Crime when applied to evil” These guys manage the evil portion just fine; it’s anything similar to tolerance that is totally beyond them.

Now excuse me while I go kill kittens for fun.......

Posted by: Rusty at 01:10 PM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
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1 mwahahahahahahahaha. Just don't go putting puppies in the blender.

Posted by: caltechgirl at October 05, 2005 01:14 PM (WfvM0)

2 mmmmmmmmm..............kittens........

Posted by: Vinnie at October 05, 2005 01:20 PM (Kr6/f)

3 Here kitty kitty kitty.

Posted by: Howie at October 05, 2005 01:25 PM (D3+20)

4 At least liberal blogs and Google News agree.......

Posted by: Rusty Shackleford at October 05, 2005 01:30 PM (JQjhA)

5 The evil is why I keep coming back here.

Posted by: IO ERROR at October 05, 2005 01:59 PM (vhWf1)

6 Make sure you take lots of pictures!

Posted by: WunderKraut at October 05, 2005 02:21 PM (xbVvF)

7 Can I juggle the kittens before you mutilate and murder them?

Posted by: RomeoDelta at October 05, 2005 02:38 PM (Srmrz)

8 Evil sells. They should take a lesson.

Posted by: Maureen at October 05, 2005 03:20 PM (ny5O/)

9 I'm rather bummed I'm not on the list - apparently I'm not evil enough. On that note, might I suggest boiling the kittens for a nice soup?

Posted by: KG at October 05, 2005 03:31 PM (YPmsQ)

10 Wear it like a badge of honor, Rusty, for that is what it is. And thank you for being here, you know, for us evil conservatives. Hehehe!

Posted by: jesusland joe at October 05, 2005 04:28 PM (rUyw4)

11 Mmmmm, dead kitty smoothies..........

Posted by: Rusty Shackleford at October 05, 2005 04:34 PM (JQjhA)

12 Rusty, after hitting the links and going to the blog, I must say that I haven't come across a more pretensious bastard in my life. It is typical leftist bullsh-t, worse than usual, in that he/she thinks all knowledge is ingrained in the Left. The guy/girl needs a therapist, and probably has one, now that I think about it.

Posted by: jesusland joe at October 05, 2005 05:25 PM (rUyw4)

13 Rusty's evil? Gooooood. By the way, since you're killing kittens, remember to put oil on them before you put them in the microwave. That way they'll warm up too fast and blow up.

Posted by: A Finn at October 06, 2005 04:07 AM (cWMi4)

14 Jawa Report evil! Me to!

Posted by: greyrooster at October 06, 2005 07:17 AM (M7kiy)

15 Conservative Christians are just like Muslims, they both think their religion is superior and they both want the world as their own.

Posted by: Me at October 06, 2005 03:29 PM (9QpXU)

16 Me is full of crap. How many Christian conservatives have been going around chopping people head's off? That's what I thought, you can't come up with any. On the other thread, you claim to be a Muslim, so which is it, me?

Posted by: jesusland joe at October 06, 2005 03:51 PM (rUyw4)

17 You have to remember that some of these Muslim conservative countries are barely out of the nomadic system, so you can't expect them to behave like modern people in religious matters. Heck, back when Europe was in a similar phase, crusaders and inquisitors were the Christian conservatives and they sure chopped a plenty of heads off, whenever they didn't burn the not-100%-lemmings and "heretics"...

Posted by: A Finn at October 07, 2005 04:03 AM (cWMi4)

18 Bush is evil

Posted by: Downing Street Memo at October 07, 2005 06:01 AM (A5eqb)

19 Jo mama is evil. Boy!

Posted by: greyrooster at October 07, 2005 10:11 AM (M7kiy)

20 I thought your man Frist, the video-diagnosis doctor, had already killed all the kittens.

Posted by: bbbustard at October 28, 2005 12:32 PM (M7kiy)

21 brilliant site! happy to be here. astonishing is feature of international mistery: , Win Rape Bet - that is all that Game is capable of bet give increase - that is all that cosmos is capable of , when Opponents is Table it will Increase Tournament table will game unconditionally

Posted by: jacob brown at December 03, 2005 07:43 PM (AxbCM)

22 Very nice. I hope you'll update very soon. Superb Gnome Con or not: http://www.washingtonpost.com/ , to Play Girl you should be very Standard when Round Do Pair Rape , Full Girl is always Tremendous Stake International is feature of Central Opponents

Posted by: Nicholas Baker at December 05, 2005 10:40 PM (++ygX)

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Beins thatÂ’s Ah is a reyud neyuk ah figured yall maht hayuv some idears on how we all cayun survahv three buck gayus. I baysiclly jest a mattr of supplahs ayund demayund.

1. Drive real fast. The longer the trip takes the more gas you burn.
2. Install bigger motor.
3. Add Holly 730 and racing cam.
4. Lift kit and big tires. The inverse square law states that the further from the center of gravity the less you are affected. Therefore less drag and better mileage.
5. When the light turns green floor it and get to the next light ASAP. The more time spent idling at red lights the less fuel used. Lights cannot ever be beaten the man has em all fixed to stop you anyway.
6.Add bush guard and roll bar both with extra lights point the top ones backwards and turn em on. The pressure of the light leaving the rollbar adds MPG. Girls like these first six which is important.
7.Marry early and often. You might want to start with Bobby Sue cause her daddy drives a fuel truck.Once you are married up start on that crop of teenagers they will be useful just donÂ’t let em drive unless itÂ’s a date with someone who works at the refinery, gas station, drives a school bus, etc etc.
8. Train yer boys to siphon. Girls donÂ’t need trainin, sucking fluid through a tube in the dark comes natural for em.
9. Host keg parties. Have the boys invite their friends but not the girls. Once the first keg is dry yer daughters can keep the boys busy while yer boys excuse themselves to get some fuel errrr take a leak.
10. Gets one of them there deep sea fishin outfits for long trips. Get up behind a rig and cast onto the bumper. Use that pair of wire cutters that always sticks out of yer back pocket to cut the line when ya gotta exit or get another beer.

In other words as long as your demand meets my supply no problem.

Supplahhh!!!! Honey can you gets Daddy another beer.

If you missed Sunday's Dilbert click here.

Hat Tip: Dave the cube neighbor.

Posted by: Howie at 09:04 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Filthy Allah has a blog. Go wish Filthy the best.

Posted by: Rusty at 03:20 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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Yes Carnival Season is in full swing.

Carnival of Liberty XIV is up.

We have a new contributor this week. Warren Meyer, of the Coyote Blog has submitted an entry and I think his debut piece for the Carnival is a great one.

Also interesting see The Carnival of the Liberated. Iraqi bloggers by the dozen. Hosted by Dean's World.

The Carnival of Personal Finance a must read that I have not yet.

Hat tip: Glen Reynolds

I have reports that parade candy hauls are down this year. But there is still hope even though it's not a campaign year. So grab a sack and pack up the kiddies and the lawnchairs it's fall baby.

Updated: Carnivals make me think of stuffing my face and that reminds me. October 5th is Dine for America day. Proceeds go the the American Red Cross disaster Relief. Wait, so you mean I can pig out and help out at the same time? I love America.

Super Carnival link.

Hat tip enise

Posted by: Howie at 12:21 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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To Dave Gullyborg at Resistance is Futile! Once you're past the first year, it's all down hill man......

Posted by: Rusty at 12:40 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Any reader know of a hotel or B&B in London that meets rather high American expectations (what passes for a '3 star hotel' is rather shocking on the other side of the pond) that's relatively cheap? By 'American expectations' I mean a bed that a guy that's 6' 4'' can sleep on, is cleaned daily, has an air conditioner, and en suite bathroom & showers. Doesn't need to be right in the center of London, but does need to be near a tube station and cheap. Did I mention cheap?

Posted by: Rusty at 08:52 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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Go and brag about your misery some place else he doesnÂ’t work for anyone else.
You use his words to make your point but his first dreams were of West Point.
Just like those you hope to imitate, to that call he never did relate.
Go ahead and take all you can steal to him politics never were the deal.
So stand up and boo when he cranks it up for you just like they did you will too.
You have no idea what rebellion really is it was only the music that was his.
Take it, twist it, use it for your own but he is one whose soul is his own.
The certainty is you will find yourself alone just like Joan you canÂ’t harness a rolling stone.

more...

Posted by: Howie at 08:15 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(Oakland, California) Former U.S. Representative Ron Dellums, a 28-year veteran Democrat in Congress, is sniffing at becoming the next Mayor of Oakland. The idea became a possibility in June when an outburst of support was seen during the 50th anniversary celebration of the Oakland Citizens Committee for Urban Renewal (OCCUR). Interviewed this past week, Dellums indicated that:

[T]he risks involved in staking his reputation on a city with seemingly intractable problems such as high rates of violent crime, sagging public finances and underachieving schools only make a mayoral run seem more attractive.

Getting back to Dellums, for those who aren't familiar with the former Democratic congressman, his political history reasonably indicates that the only distinction between him and an avowed communist is that Dellums was never heard to say in public, "I'm an avowed communist." And arguably, there is no better objective indicator of his core political philosophy than the Internet. Just do a Google search of "Dellums" and "communist" and you'll get more hits than if you Google "Dellums" and "Democrat."

As to whether Dellums and his communist/socialist belief system take over Oakland or not, it really makes no difference. The East Bay is already infested with more Marxist ideologues than any other place in North America. What's one more?

Companion post at Interested-Participant.

Posted by: Mike Pechar at 06:04 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Carnival of Liberty XIII is up at Fowardbiased.

Make some time and check it out.

Oh yeah and for those of you who missed it this too.

Hat tip: Aussie on the link.

Posted by: Howie at 10:53 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It looks like the rest of this month and until the end of October I will be only able to do one post a day--maximum. Sorry. The good news is that by November it looks like my schedule will return to normal and that we should begin our first Jawa podcasts sometime shortly thereafter.

Until then, I recommend my co-bloggers to you. Their posts are a mix of humor, deep insight, overlooked news items, and political screeds--the kind of stuff you've come to expect at The Jawa Report. Link worthy items should be sent to them, not to me. I'll still be reading e-mail, but don't expect a response unless it is either personal in nature or urgent.

I shall return.

Posted by: Rusty at 11:15 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Left demands U.S. out of U.S. now. Neocons respond: U.S. must invade U.S. now!

More anti-war protesters reveal true agenda.

Best. ACLU. Idea. Ever. ACLU demands girls join Boy Scouts. I would have made Eagle had there been some chicks around.

A look at Navy Seal's hell week. Almost as bad as finals week in one of Rusty Shackleford's classes.

Today's masochism link: Asshat interviews asshole.

RINO sightings is up. Check it out.

Posted by: Rusty at 08:55 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Just a reminder, I'm on light blogging patrol. I blame Chimpy McBush for this and all other problems.

Posted by: Rusty at 04:24 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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