I can now quit blogging...
Today, I have become a man! Thanks Glenn. Does this mean I can no longer post over at
Itsapundit? Anyway, somehow I feel
validated. You know,
complete,
whole, etc.
Anyway, I've still never got a stand alone link. You know, a one liner directing minions to a site with the patented heh or indeed. Those bring in the big number. Oh well, maybe next year. But to celebrate my Instalanche, I reach deep into the Jawa archives and present to the two readers who haven't seen this at least 100 times already:
Instalanche vs. Instant Lunch
Well, my little Pet Jawa has been amongst the top 100 blogs for months now. I'm getting a lot more traffic than I ever dreamed of. A lot of that traffic is by repeat customers and I'm getting so many comments that a number of people have suggested opening a Jawa discussion forum.
So, why am I still so blue? All this and still no Instalanche!! Validation in the blogosphere, we all know, comes from one source alone.
Well, I'm through with you Glenn Reynolds. No more will I seek the much coveted Instalanche. Instead, I'm going after the much yummier Instant Lunch.
How do the two compare?
Instalanche-immediate spike in traffic, lasting up to 48 hours.
Instant Lunch-immediate spike in sodium level, MSG headache up to 12 hours.
Instalanche-expect at least two or three bloggers to get a kick out of your post and add you to the blogroll.
Insant Lunch-expect at least two or three co-workers to get a kick out of you eating the sh*t they swore they'd never touch again their first day out of college.
Instalanche-a sudden feeling of self-satisfaction knowing that somehow your post drew the attention of the right-blogosphere's top blogger.
Instant Lunch-a sudden feeling of stomach-satisfaction, with the caveat that the empty calories you just scarfed down will leave you lethargic for the rest of the day.
Instalanche-with the sudden spike in traffic you can now up your Blog Ad rate to just under covering your total monthly ISP and blog host bill.
Instant Lunch-with the money you saved by eating cheap MSG laden quasi-Asian food you can now afford to run to the video store and rent the latest Adam Sandler film--only to find that you remember neither the food nor the film in the morning.
*UPDATE: Flea tells me it's an 'Instalanche'. What the h*ll is a lanche anyway? Sounds French.....or Canadian....either way, it does have a very Thurston Howell III air about it. Anyway, I've corrected it.
*the truth is I really did eat ramen-in-a-cup for lunch today. Not kidding. Three words: dee-li-cious!!
Posted by: Rusty at
06:43 PM
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Post contains 450 words, total size 3 kb.
1
Don't worry, Rusty, I'll still link you. That faker doesn't know what he is missing.
Posted by: Puppy Blender at June 02, 2005 07:20 PM (HxpPK)
2
Can we start calling you a "sell-out" now?
Posted by: The Man at June 02, 2005 08:05 PM (Fd8im)
Posted by: The Commissar at June 02, 2005 08:16 PM (Oyoan)
4
Instalanche-with the sudden spike in traffic you can now up your Blog Ad rate to just under covering your total monthly ISP and blog host bill.
Blog host bill?
Posted by: Pixy Misa at June 02, 2005 09:28 PM (AIaDY)
Posted by: Leopold Stotch at June 02, 2005 10:30 PM (lUHDE)
6
Congrats on the 'lanche, Rusty. Remind me again what they feel like?
I've long since forgotten...
Posted by: Confederate Yankee at June 02, 2005 11:13 PM (CO4eV)
7
Whoa. Now's the time to break out that Scott Baio installment.
Posted by: Charles at June 03, 2005 12:01 AM (wQbc6)
8
Speaking of Ramen, I have a powerful lust for the stuff, but man, is it full of sodium! Just looking at the pic spiked my bp.
Speaking of high bp, have I mentioned lately that all liberals are scumsucking traitors who should be taken out and shot? No? Well, I won't mention it then.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at June 03, 2005 12:53 AM (0yYS2)
Posted by: ccwbass at June 03, 2005 05:01 AM (1xVXs)
10
Well, at least you get a mention on Instapundit. My poor spouse,
John Donovan (Arrgghhh!!), has been in the top 100 and even in the top 30 (today he is #19), and Glenn has never, ever mentioned him or linked him for any reason whatsoever. Maybe Instapundit is afraid of guns?
I don't know what one has to do to attract Prof. Reynold's attention, short of starting a Carnival - and then he only links to whoever hosts it!
Posted by: Beth Donovan at June 03, 2005 08:29 AM (2/K1s)
11
So is Instapundit just about that Glenn writing what he thinks, or is it possible to leave comments somewhere in there?
Posted by: A Finn at June 03, 2005 08:53 AM (lGolT)
12
Beth,
You be grateful your husband hasn't received the (snotty)coveted 'lanche. I was 'lanched 3 times by Glenn and once by Ann Althouse while filling in for Glenn and soon after I just quite blogging and took to the bottle. I've just recently recovered, but my mental faculties are still questionable. I can tell you right now, Rusty is finding out the hard way a 'lanche ain't what it's all
cracked up to be, if you know what I mean. He's probably thinking about leaving his wife to get a shot at Brittney Spears.
Posted by: Editor at June 03, 2005 10:45 AM (adpJH)
13
Finn: Reynolds' blog is pretty much just his commentary on current events. He is a law professor and columnist and has little time to deal with comments. That being said, it would be nice to comment on there, as I think many people tend to visit sites more often if they can participate.
ccwbass: You're a Mormon? Jeez already, I don't want to buy your cookies, now get off my porch.
Oh, by the by, what was that angel's name again, Moroni or something like that? The irony is just beautiful, though I'm sure it escapes the faithful...
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at June 03, 2005 10:46 AM (0yYS2)
14
It must have been the "Launch a Jawa For Peace" initiative your pals gave for you last year. I mean, what else could to that? Oh yeah, quality.
Whatever. You'll find fame a fickle bay-atch.
Posted by: Gordon at June 03, 2005 01:28 PM (dEFhD)
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