March 18, 2005

One, Two, Three, Four, I Proclaim a Blog War

Unlike that wuss Frank J. who is obviously a corporate shill, I hereby declare loyalty to Keith Taylor.

Gizoogle ... Paris Hilton's Cell Phone Number ... The Niggas at DFNCTSC ... Strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers ... Girls Big Tit ... Free Big Tit Sites ... Jamie Lynn Spears Naked

Why? Because he asked.

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March 16, 2005

Spring Break Bleg

Reminder: I'm on Spring Break. If you have an interesting post or a news item, please e-mail me with it. That way I don't spend all day surfing the web for this stuff.

Thanks,
The Management

PS-and by "interesting" I don't mean the latest Jessica Alba FHM spread!

PPS-Where are my collaboraters on this thing? Demosophist?.... BRD? Interested Participant? ... Bueller? Any one...?

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March 15, 2005

Jawa Report Celebrates One Million Visitors

UPDATE: 1 million mark passed!!!!!! (PS--sorry about trackback spam.....stupid MT keeps pinging and pinging and pinging...big apologies)

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Some time in the next couple of hours my Jawa will have been petted by at least 1 million visitors. It is done!!!!!! Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!

Thanks all for the constant barage of referrals, positive feedback, and serious fun.

A few shout outs are in order.

First, the Commissar who gave me early encouragement and let me guest blog for him last year.

Next, a shout out to the OG pimptastik wicked gang. These are like-minded bloggers like the Llama Butchers, Bill at INDC, Jeff Goldstein, Iowahawk, Cranky Neocon, Six Meat Buffet, Ace, Allah, Prof. Chaos, BRD, Way Off Bass, Demosophia, and a bunch more that I just can't recall in my present caffeine-free state or who have given up the blogging gig. These are bloggers who were kind enough to throw me links early on, when I was getting like 100 hits a day. They also would show up on my site regular enough that it made a petite blogger feel like Macktastick Rusty Wicked.

Let me also thank the hundreds of other smaller bloggers who throw links my way on a very regular basis. You guys are awesome--totally awesome. As I've explained on numerous occasions the fact that I blog anonymously prohibits me commenting on your site. However, I do read just about every post that trackbacks to me. Also, if you have a post that needs a plugging, just e-mail me and I'll try to do it. I know how much it meant to me when Allah plugged an early post, so I try to return the favor as often as I can.

Last, let me tell you the six degrees of seperation for My Pet Jawa. My original inspiration for blogging came from Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs. After 9/11 a few buddies in grad school and I realized that we were pretty much on the same page. 'Boomhauer', 'Bill Dauterieve' and me, Dale Gribble Rusty Shackleford, sort of ganged up on our poor Chomskyite friend who was against the Afghanistan invasion. I think originally we started meeting in the alley for brews because we felt so out of place amongst our peers in grad school who were appalled at Shrimp-Chub-Hitler-Bush's response to 9/11. I don't know how Chomsky-lite started to hang out in the alley with us. It was probably because unlike most other disciples of the Maharaja-Chomsky, he had a sense of humor and he was into chicks. That--and his mutual love of dick and fart jokes.

Somehow or another I did an internet search trying to refute Chomsky's drivel and eventually found my way to LGF. Boomhauer and I then started a now defunct group blog. It got old quick, especially when sitemeter told us that like 10 people a day were reading it. Eventually I got a job here and Boomhauer got a job in another part of the country so we stopped blogging.

However, I didn't stop reading blogs. From LGF I started surfing his blogroll of anti-idiotarians. It was there that I found Iowahawk, Emperor Misha of the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler, and the illustrious and semi-retired Allah. The Commissar had a blog-ad going over at Allah's at the time. I visited these sites as often as I could, which wasn't that often. It was my first year teaching at a university so a lot of prep time.

One day Bill Dauterieve calls me up and says, "Dude, I'm starting a blog again." This time he would put his real name up on the blog, his CV, and all that jazz. Me? Never one to be out done by Bill, I went over to blogspot to sign up once again. But what to name the blog? How about something really offensive? Yeah. Something that only South Park fans would get. Jawas. Yeah. How about like Emperor Misha's blog which is actually at 'nicedoggie.net'? Nice Jawa? Ouch--that certainly is offensive.

But wait, let's up it a notch. I kept thinking of that stupid TV production bumper "Sit Ubu sut, good dog." How about My Pet Jawa? (Mr. Burns) Excellent. Within an hour I had designed the initial layout of the site. I chose green because it is the sacred and holy color of the Religion of Peas. That, and I sort of ripped it off from Allah.

That was a little over a year ago. Last summer a couple of blog friends, namely Simon and BRD, convinced Pixy Misa to give me an mu.nu account. I changed the name from My Pet Jawa to the Jawa Report cause I wanted to hoodwink a few unnamed websites into believing that we were a legitimate source of news. (Nelson Munz) Ha-ha! The rest is, as they say, history.

I've had a lot of good times on the way. Plenty of links from big sites like Michelle Malkin, Little Green Footballs, Outside the Beltway, Wizbang, Vodka Pundit, and others--including a solitary Eschaton link and a single Instalanche.

Plenty of more from my devoted cadre of fellow-travellers and minions including:

Interested Participant, Hans Bricks, Team Hammer, Incite, Vince aut morire, Right Wing Nuthouse, Pirate's Cove, Digger's Realm, Jeff Quinton, Robert Spencer, Dean Esmay, Scott S., Mike King, John Donovan, Captain Ed, John Little, John Henke, Chad Evans, Rob of Say Anything, Spoons, Editors in Pajamas, Goldfalcon, Sundries Shack, Cox and Forkum, American Soldier, Jane Novack, Sworn Enemy, Julliette, Jeff at Beautiful Attrocities, Blog Tower, Sparse Matrix, Cal Tech Girl, Dummocrats, Flea, SondraK, Kate at Small Tasty Dead Animals, Mr. K, Zippo the Pirate, Scared Monkeys, Joe Gandelman, Myopic Zeal, Jack Lewis, Beth of MYVRWC, Maximum Leader, Chris Cross, Passionate America, Daniel Aronstein, Misplaced Keys, Hyscience, HispaLibertas, and a bajillion others.

I even have two blog children (as far as I know--wink, wink): Brian B. of Memento Moron and tee_bee!

So, while the rest of you are busy typing away on today's important events, I think I'll kick back, eat some meat, and take it easy. Thanks one and all. Biyatches!!!

UPDATE: Sorry about multiple trackback pings. Seriously, something went screwy with this thing.

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March 14, 2005

Spring Break

Just a reminder....I'm on Spring Break so that's why posting is light.

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Blog Sabbath Caption Contest Winners

Here are the winners to yesterday's caption contest. Winners are chosen arbitrarily by me.

1) Eric at Vince Aut Morire:

Hugo: You're more anti-American!
Jacques: Non! You're more anti-American!
Hugo: I insist! You're more anti-American!
Jacques: Non! You are!
Hugo: No! You are!
Jacques: I surrender!

2) Ricardo Verde:

.....expressing mutual condolence on the loss of Moe.

3) Frank Villon of You've Been Told:

Jacques: Embrasse-moi, mon petit étalon hispanique!
Hugo: Besame mucho, cabron francés!

Special Mention to Brian Blazevic of New Eagle for gratuitous use of the term 'hot karl'

Cowardice and Petulance embrace after agreeing to keep Venezuelan oil away from America - and a "hot karl" just off camera.

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Morning Linkfest

Here are a few good morning reads. I'm on Spring Break so posting will be light.

Giuliana Sgrena 'demanding' answers from US government.

Good news from Iraq--civilians helping the military.

US rendition program a success.

Chris Short is at Sea World and has a touching story of a tribute to our troops.

The Carnivorous Conservative has the story of Iwo Jima. Very cool. My grandfather was a Marine killed in the Marianas campaign and is buried in the Punch Bowl.

Hundred Percenter interviews John Hawkins--something of a role reversal.

Decison '08 now laying odds on Hilary Clinton's run.

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March 12, 2005

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest

Caption this photo of Jacques Chirac hugging Hugo Chavez. The winner gets this shiny quarter and a free plug.

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Spring Break Blogging

It's Spring Break around here. I'm going to try to do some academic work over the break. Contrary to popular belief, the Middle East is not my field of expertise.

As I explained on the radio the other night, I put a pretty big wall of seperation between my professional writing and my blog writing. To be honest, I get kind of annoyed at some bloggers who wear their academic credentials on their coat sleeves. As if the type of work that we publish on our blogs are somehow related to our academic disciplines. They are not.

My blog writing has gotten more intense as of late, but I've allowed my professional research and writing fall off quite a bit.

I'll be posting, but posting will be much lighter than usual.

UPDATE: In lieu of reading posts, why not offer some good vibes and a prayer for Brian B. Looks like he's going to have to be the sole bread winner for awhile. Welcome to the club, man. I've been supporting Mrs. Shackleford for going on 4 years now. It aint easy, but it's worth it.

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March 11, 2005

Gone Fishing

I need a break. Going fishing.

UPDATE: Back early. Got skunked. Water level was much lower than I expected and wind was way up. Nice to get out, though.

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March 10, 2005

The Dan Rather Farewell Post

Dan who?

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March 09, 2005

Calling All Hackers

Let me just put in a quick plug for Hagganah Internet. What we do here is make fun of terrorists and expose their evil agenda. What he does there is he takes those bitches out!

What many in America do not understand is that terrorists are linked together with a common ideology. That ideology is not 'terrorism'. 'Terrorism' is a means to an end, the end, however is just as frightening as the means. The ends are the global caliphate under sharia law as first envisioned by The Muslim Brotherhood at the fall of the Turkish empire.

I condemn the IRA, but I don't consider them a major threat to Western Civilization. On the other hand, The Muslim Brotherhood has (at least publicly) renounced violence yet I consider them a far more dangerous organization.

The jihadi networks are bound together through internet sites and discussion boards where they give each other support, instruction, and even coordinate attacks.

The FBI and CIA still operate in pre-9/11 mode when it comes to these terrorist web sites. That is, the operators of these websites are largely ignored or when attention is paid to them it is in the guise of a criminal indictment. If 9/11 taught us anything, it is that we cannot treat the jihadi terrorists as criminals. This is war, and pro-active cyber-warfare must be part of that strategy.

Internet Hagganah is committed to exposing the terrorists by revealing the web sites they use and hosting companies which allow them to operate. Many might be surprised to learn that the majority of jihadi websites are hosted on American or European servers.

If you have, er, special skills that might help in taking down some of these websites you might want to pay Aaron's Internet Hagganah a visit.

In the past few weeks a number of jihadi sites have been, er, forced to find other hosts. For instance, the Aaryan Nation website which openly encourages the jihad against America has recently been *cough* shut down.

If you don't have these special skills, another strategy is to contact the webhost and pressure them to remove the terrorists' content. Internet Hagganah on an almost daily basis reveals who those webhosts are. For instance, a company in Denmark has been hosting a website which raises money under the guise of an 'Islamic Charity' but which openly boasts in Arabic about how those funds are used in Iraq to fuel the insurgency.

Last bleg--if you want to help make Internet Hagganah a semi-regular visit.

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Wow....

.....man, I miss living in the Mountain West. This is why.

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WTW: Instalanche vs. Instant Lunch

I finally got an Instalanche!! Thank you Glenn Reynolds, my life is now complete. I now feel...what's the word? Violated. No, I mean validated.

But contrary to popular belief, an Instalanche isn't the end-all-be-all of blogging. In fact, as a member of that class of Americans known as "white trash" (we prefer to be called people of the soil, but that aint gonna happen) I would prefer an instant lunch over an instalanche.

Resurrected from the vast archives of My Pet Jawa, here is a classic to celebrate my first real Instalanche and White Trash Wednesday. Instalanche vs. Instant Lunch.

How do the two compare?

Instalanche-immediate spike in traffic, lasting up to 48 hours.
Instant Lunch-immediate spike in sodium level, MSG headache up to 12 hours.

Instalanche-expect at least two or three bloggers to get a kick out of your post and add you to the blogroll.
Insant Lunch-expect at least two or three co-workers to get a kick out of you eating the sh*t they swore they'd never touch again their first day out of college.

Instalanche-a sudden feeling of self-satisfaction knowing that somehow your post drew the attention of the right-blogosphere's top blogger.
Instant Lunch-a sudden feeling of stomach-satisfaction, with the caveat that the empty calories you just scarfed down will leave you lethargic for the rest of the day.

Instalanche-with the sudden spike in traffic you can now up your Blog Ad rate to just under covering your total monthly ISP and blog host bill.
Instant Lunch-with the money you saved by eating cheap MSG laden quasi-Asian food you can now afford to run to the video store and rent the latest Adam Sandler film--only to find that you remember neither the food nor the film in the morning.

I'm off to edumacate the masses. For more White Trash Wednesday fun, visit these sites:


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Dale Grib Rusty Shackleford and Friends on Sgrena Shooting

Bill Dauterive
But Chris Matthews said the eyetalian reporter said the guys that that kidnapped her said the Americans didn't want her to get out alive. Why would he say she said they said that?

Dale Gribble Rusty Shackleford
It's a conspiracy! I told you before, this all goes back to Bush bein' a member of Skull and Bones.

Hank Hill
Damnit Dale! Dubya is a Texan, and there are three things that I can't abide by - people speakin' ill of the president of the United States, people speakin' ill of Texans, and people speakin' ill of propane and propane accessories.

Dale Gribble
I still say the Illuminati are involved in this somehow.

John from Wuzzadem has the rest.

and speaking of Giuliana Sgrena, Phin went Moonbat watching and spotted the illusive "journalista osor americanus antepilanum" in its native habitat here.

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Rusty Shackleford is a Jewish-Pig-Zionist

Hey, here's a funny one from an anti-Semite in New Zealand.

"Anyone who uses the term 'blood libel' just has to be Jewish, and most
likely zionist.... which neatly brackets the objectivity of garbage on your
blog.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Never wrestle with a pig.
You just get dirty, and the pig enjoys it."

Cause you know, J-O-Os can't be 'objective'....I mean, not like good Protestants like, say, Dan Rather.

*I am not Jewish, but take the accusation as a compliment. How about, honorary J-O-O??

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California Jobs Group Caught Outsourcing

A jobs-creation group funded by business and supported by Gov. Schwarzenegger, Citizens to Save California (CSC), has been outsourcing work to India. The move has been defended as being a small part of the group's total effort. Nonetheless, political opponents and critics are accusing the organization of being disingenuous because there is no shortage of Californians able to do the work.

Responding in a press release, the CSC stated that the controversy "is another desperate, political stunt" and a "thinly veiled attempt to derail" the reforms needed to improve the job climate.

The outfall of the controversy remains to be seen, but one thing is certain. With the outsourcing and jobs issues always potentially explosive, it seems the CSC committed a serious political blunder by allowing the outsourcing of work to India. Tsk, tsk.

Companion post at Interested-Participant.

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March 08, 2005

Jawa Report on the Radio

Last reminder. I will be on Stanford's KZSU 90.1 FM today from around 5:30-6:00 pm Pacific time. You can listen live here. No call-ins, but the host wants to ask me the important questions so just e-mail kzsushark-at-yahoo.com with your Gannon/Sgrena related querries.

UPDATE: Bleg for e-mails. Please e-mail the host with questions for me. If not, my ego will be shattered!!! Before you ask the inevitable question, though, the answer is "8 inches".

UPDATE: I'm up pretty quick. Feel free to leave live comments. I'll try to read them during the interview.

UPDATE: I'm on hold. Last chance to get in on the interview from the beginning.

UPDATE: And I'm spent.............thanks for the questions y'all!!

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Al Qaeda Claims Zarqawi Photos Authentic, May be in Captivity

SITE translates this communique from Abu Musab al Zarqawi's al Qaeda Organization in Iraq. It seems that the photos released by CNN on Saturday are actually Zarqawi:

According to the statement, these photos were taken from an al-Qaeda mujahid who was killed in a battle in Iraq. “It happened then that these pictures [those recently broadcast by the media] fell into the infidels’ hands,” the text reads.
The message was written because of media accounts that Zarqawi had been captured (again). Another statement by the group today, via SITE, suggests that Zarqawi might, indeed, be either dead, captured, or that al Qaeda fears informants will turn him in.

“We hold Abu Musab [al-Zarqawi] in our hearts and we embrace him and defend him with our lives as it is the duty of a Moslem to stand by his Brother and not betray him.”

UPDATE: The Iraqi government issued two more photos of Zarqawi yesterday. Here they are. Remember, if you see this man please do the world a favor and kill him.

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Breaking News: Rusty Shackleford is CIA Agent!

Do CIA agents get paid better than libertarian bloggers? Cause, you know, if they do sign me up!!

"Having failed to murder the reporter, the US spooks unleash a smear campaign to sell the public on the idea that she only got what she deserved."

Like Goebbels before her, if Giuliana Sgrena had gotten what she deserved she'd be, er, dead!

Reminder: If you would like to ask Rusty Shackleford, CIA agent, a question, remember that I will be on the Shark Tank show on Stanford's KZSU 90.1 FM today from around 5:30-6:00 pm. You can listen live by going to their website here. No call-ins, but if you have a question you would like asked of me just e-mail kzsushark-at-yahoo.com.

Posted by: Rusty at 12:46 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Letter from Italian Reader

Here is a letter from an Italian reader. Evidence that not all in Italy are buying Sgrena's lies hook, line, and sinker:

Ms. Sgrena's speech are pure ideological tales. They (the italian Communist) hate the US or I should say they hate an ideological representation of the US, a very strong mental building of which they need to express their absurd ideas.

Most italian respect the US and the job that you are doing to defeat the terrorism.


Raffaello ****

Firenze, Italia

Posted by: Rusty at 11:10 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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