Last year the Jawa Report brought you news that Jane Fonda had participated in some three-way action at the insistence of the husband of her youth, Roger Vadim. Let's just say the thought of a young Jane Fonda, straight out of Barbarella, with another woman is not one that is too unpleasant.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Jane Fonda is a traitor. But, come on, the chick was a swinger baby! We'll call that the good Jane Fonda treasonous manage a trois. (As opposed to that other kind of manage a trois, which is always bad--you know, like the kind in Chasing Amy)

When does a Jane Fonda treasonous manage a trois get bad?

Fast forward to the way-past-her-prime Mrs. Ted Turner Jane Fonda days. Now try hard not to imagine a managa a trois which includes the mustached one. Now try even harder not to imagine that manage a trois featuring an ex-hippie/aging aerobics instructor with a man who believed he could single-handedly end the Cold War with a pathetic substitute for the Olympics--on video. NY Sun [Warning: before proceeding, please note you may need many years of therapy to get the following non-graphic images out of your head]: more...

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Anna Nicole Smith showed up to the Supreme Court today to witness oral arguments on her probate case. Fox News via Llama Butchers:

Dressed in all black, Smith fought her way through a throng of photographers and autograph-seekers Tuesday on her way to the courthouse in Washington. Smith didn't say a word and didn't sign any autographs as she and a lawyer tried to slip into a side door of the court.

From the vast archives of The Jawa Report an oldie but a goodie: Certiorari worthy vs. Uncertiorari worthy Anna Nicole Smith. more...

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I swear, you can't make this stuff up. There's nothing gay about a former Australian ballet dancer who changes his name to 'Jihad', describes Osama bin Laden as 'floating across the floor', and has insights into the most wanted terrorist on Earth's preference for hugging over kissing. Nothing gay to see here folks, move along. BBC:

Australia's "Jihad Jack", convicted of receiving funds from al-Qaeda, says Osama Bin Laden does not like being kissed but is happy to be hugged....

Thomas said he once shook hands with Bin Laden at an al-Qaeda camp in Afghanistan.

Bin Laden was "very polite and humble and shy. He didn't like too many kisses... he didn't mind being hugged but kisses he didn't like and he just seemed to float... across the floor," Thomas told ABC. ...

As a child Thomas was rejected as a ballet dancer for being too stocky and joined a punk band, The Lobotomy Scars.

He converted to Islam and changed his name by deed poll to Jihad before heading to Afghanistan in March 2001.

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Why? Because she's hot. She also openly criticizes Islamic countries for thier treatment of women. She's also hot. Did I mention that she was hot?

Now this is the kind of Muslim that I could really get into!

Via Mac Powell at ITB this from Contact Music:

Muslim pop star DEEYAH is facing death threats because her raunchy new music video sees her strip off a burka (burqa) to reveal her bikini-clad body.

Deeyah claims the video for WHAT WILL IT BE? deals with Muslim womenÂ’s rights and female empowerment as it also features Muslim women who have fought for freedom of expression.

At first glance it's just another pop video, but take a closer look. There are not so subtle visual references to Ayaan Hirsi Ali's movie Submission.

From her My Space website:

"Because of her bold stance on Muslim women's rights, Deeyah has received more death threats than 50 Cent", says one UK journalist. "Despite the continuous abuse and death threats, Deeyah remains defiant against prejudice and discrimination on all levels--especially towards women.

And just because we know this will piss some people off, below are a few images of Deeyah. All of them are from the controversial video, except the last one. I just like that one for some reason. more...

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1 I'll protect her! I'll just throw myself on top and be her personal burqua! We can shoot video's and other stuff all day! Well, maybe not allllll day.

Posted by: forest hunter at February 21, 2006 11:06 PM (Fq6zR)

2 I read of this over the weekend and supposedly one major objection to her is that in concerts she'll wear a full burqa and then shed it off wearing only a bikini. Now to us American males, that's just good entertainment. Not so to the same crew that threatened a Muslim Indian tennis player because she wore a skirt to play professional tennis.

Posted by: Chad Evans at February 21, 2006 11:45 PM (+DXHJ)

3 I'll bet the stress is affecting her immune system. She needs an injection of vitamin Bluto, stat.

Posted by: The Dread Pundit Bluto at February 22, 2006 12:10 AM (RHG+K)

4 Now THAT'S a Religion of Piece.

Posted by: Vinnie at February 22, 2006 12:42 AM (f289O)

5 It hasn't been easy for me to imagine a sexy Muslim babe but she does break the ice. She is hot and gutsy. Think of all the media no-cartoon wimps in comparison.

Posted by: Javapuke at February 22, 2006 01:12 AM (vB4YI)

6 "Deeyah"?... Yes, I do.

Posted by: Son Of The Godfather at February 22, 2006 05:02 AM (maXzk)

7 You know, there's something wrong with muslim men if they get homocidal about her (ahem) attire. I can understand people feeling uneasy or even offended by her scanty and provocative wardrobe, but let's get a grip! (pardon the pun) There's something sort of unnatural (even homosexual) about a religion that tries to make its women invisible; I think some of those guys have been living in caves for waaayyyy too long.

Posted by: docjim505 at February 22, 2006 08:24 AM (MC8cP)

8 >>>>"Because of her bold stance on Muslim women's rights, Deeyah has received more death threats than 50 Cent", That's impossible. The radicals are only an intsy bitsy teeny tiny minority of muslims. >>>homosexual Yes. There is a high degree of homosexual practice among muslim males.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at February 22, 2006 08:56 AM (M3nr/)

9 A couple of those pics made me prematurely fatwa.

Posted by: Son Of The Godfather at February 22, 2006 09:35 AM (maXzk)

10 These people are fanatics they are extremists and they are still calling it ther eligoin of peace what a sick joke

Posted by: sandpiper at February 22, 2006 10:01 AM (n7v4a)

11 Never heard of Deeyah, but hey, that's my loss. Gutsy, cute, hot, whatever, she has taken a brave stand, and we should support her. The slimeballs in the media have let a young woman show them to be the cowards they are. You go, girl!

Posted by: jesusland joe at February 22, 2006 10:10 AM (rUyw4)

12 She definitely deserve more exposure. In the western media, that is, 'cause it doesn't look like ME people appreciate this kind of art... - Max

Posted by: Max at February 22, 2006 10:41 AM (aPkwd)

13 Some Muslim chicks are HOT! Ever see Queen Rania of Jordan, or Rudi Bakhtiar of Fox News (formerly anchor for CNN HLN). HOT!

Posted by: Spiffo at February 22, 2006 01:23 PM (6tdWP)

14 That butt should never be hidden behind a burkha.

Posted by: Jester at February 22, 2006 08:45 PM (QKZX5)

15 About 5 sec into the video, there appears to be a brief screen shot taken from the infamous video of the Taliban's public assassination of a woman.

Posted by: DC at February 22, 2006 11:50 PM (QPC7X)

16 "You can stand up, lay down, or follow. You can stand up, lay down and swallow..." Wow! No kidding!

Posted by: Babs at February 23, 2006 07:44 AM (iZZlp)

17 I agree with Jester 100%!

Posted by: craig at February 23, 2006 03:45 PM (b3fZv)

18 I could get jihadi on that sweet thang

Posted by: Pork4islam at February 23, 2006 05:37 PM (GObqD)

19 A figure skater from Turkey skated in these Olympics and qualified for the long program; the first ever muslim figure skater in the Olympics. I think that she, with her tiny body and her little mini skirt, along with her family have more courage than any of the brave-on-paper only newspaper editors in the MSM. I still remember how the medal-winning female Algerian long distance runner represents her homeland but has to live and train in France because she fears for her life. What a backwards and barbaric culture. These are the people that we are appeasing? By the way, Bin-laden's niece has posed provocatively in skimpy clothing and wants to be a singer too.

Posted by: jmchez at February 24, 2006 08:38 PM (8XMTP)

20 [Bin laden's niece can be found here]

Posted by: jmchez at February 24, 2006 08:53 PM (8XMTP)

21 Sorry about that. The corrected link is here. Bin-laden's niece looking provocative

Posted by: jmchez at February 24, 2006 08:57 PM (8XMTP)

22 I can't believe I am going to take such an important issue as Muslim womens' rights and break it down to such a simplistic, typical- male response, but here goes... "My God! The pool shot. What a glorious ass!~ Please tell me you have more pictures of her from the rear? Please, Pretty Please!" Okay, back to talking about the serious liberation of Muslim women

Posted by: Bob Diethrich at February 24, 2006 10:30 PM (JUn7h)

23 Here's the moment I've been waiting for. Will the mainstream liberals now say that perhaps this woman should repress herself so as not to offend Islam? Meanwhile, I'm going to do more research on this new phenomenon. Rusty, excellent detective work. Didja know Hewitt linked you?

Posted by: Gordon at February 25, 2006 09:19 PM (0k9o4)

24 Here is "Shabana Rehman", another gutsy Muslim woman requiring bodyguards. She actually physically lifted a mullah with whom she was debating...."Krekar, who said that Rehman picked him up by reaching under his buttocks, became furious"

Posted by: Zee at February 26, 2006 06:21 PM (HnkXc)

25 first in consideration of the similarities between interrogation and brainwashing(remember Sirhan Sirhan?) how do we know what our government is doing at Guantanamo, and how We might someday be effected by its graduates? Is each and everyone of those released under the publically axcessable eyes of any one of our watchdog agencies? And why all the rebelling against our Supreme Court rulings by this administration? Secondly would i be right in concluding that this administrations policies of putting the Kurds and the Shiites in such a disproportionately powerful position in Iraqi Governmental affairs compared to before the war, would be akin to putting African and Indian Americans in a comparable power position(citing their suffering) all of a sudden and then act surprized and appalled at the response of Caucasion Americans. Its seems to me that we are in the process of creating a "Community of Iraqi citizens" to perform the same tasks as that that we placed of the shoulders of Saddaam. Rings in my ears as a Forked Tongue Policy for sure. Think of the precedents we are creating in World Affairs! Later we'll replace the government and its leadership of another country with their minority populations or we'll just sit aroound and watch while another government (Say Southafrican or whoever) does the same. And lastly as a former Army Corps of Engineers specialist, Why not have Our Corps leaders give Americans the estimates involved and let our troops build a better and more humane "Wall" between Isreal and Palestine according to our governments latest inituitive? We could do it much more efficient and the whole world would support us. Then we could justify some of that foriegn aid money we're giving Isreal. Your thoughts.......................

Posted by: ben haamid at February 28, 2006 03:57 PM (CY9ln)

26 At first she is non Muslim what did you know about Islam???? what did you know about the human right in Islam ??? what did you know about freedom in Islam???? I think that nobody cost himself to read anything search for Islamway to know about what you talk

Posted by: malek at March 01, 2006 04:42 AM (QOaNG)

27 I found some more information about deeyah http://www.deeyah.com http://www.deeyahpoint.co.uk http://www.myspace.com/deeyahfans http://www.myspace.com/deeyahmusic

Posted by: PK at March 01, 2006 08:21 AM (wcbV+)

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Are Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz having a lesbian affair? That's what rumors in Mexican tabloids say. Of course, it doesn't hurt the spread of such rumors when 99% of men polled by the Jawa Report say they secretly hope the rumors are true.

Apparently, the rumors started during the filming of the movie Bandidas. Unlike Brokeback Mountain, the film is the kind of gay cowboy film men will be flocking to see. No word on the amount of pudding consumed in the film. more...

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Image right from the Ann Summers adult store of the 'Mustafa' inflatable 'shag' doll. Muslims are upset because the Prophet Muhammed (swt) is often given the title al-Mustafa--or, the chosen one.

Apparently there is a large demand for Arabic looking sex dolls with seven inches of love in London at so-called 'hen parties'--the female equivalent of 'stag parties' or bachelor parties. For her part, the proprieter says she was unaware that Mustafa was a name given to the Prophet Muhammed (swt), and only seems to have used the name to make here mustached sex doll seem more Arabic. She claims she will happily change the name.

The Sun:

But the Muslim Association — based at Manchester’s Central Mosque and Islamic Cultural Centre — branded him “obnoxious”.

Yesterday a spokesman said: “This is the name of our Prophet and it’s very upsetting. This thing should be banned.”

In a letter to the store, the Association said: “You have no idea how much hurt, anguish and disgust this obnoxious phrase has caused to Muslims. We are asking you to have our Most Revered Prophet’s name ‘Mustafa’ and the afflicted word ‘shag’ removed.”

Mac at In the Bullpen has more.

UPDATE: If Muhammed was al-Mustafa--the chosen one--then what the hell what Eddie Murphy?

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A 28 year old subsitute teacher, Sara Singley, plead guilty yesterday to having sex with one of her 16 year old female students. Interested Participant has more.

NJ.com:

Singley met the 16-year-old girl while working as a substitute teacher at her school in October 2003, records say. The school where Singley met was not specified, but the charges were filed by Bethlehem Township police.

In January 2004, Singley and the girl began a romantic relationship and had sex several times at parks in Bethlehem Township and at motels around the area, records say.

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Is Laura Alito truly hot? When Rob Port says the daughter of a Supreme Court justice is hot you never really know--let's face it, the long North Dakota winter will do that to a guy. But when Jonah Goldberg agrees? How you gonna argue with that?

But, er, you guys do realize she's still in high school? This is wrong on so many levels.....

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Hollywood meet real life. Seriously, Mike Myers should get Ms. Houdova to star in the next Austin Powers flick. How often does an international supermodel and former Miss Czech Republic smuggle photos out of a Communist country in her unmentionables? Not nearly enough, that's how often!

Just remember the mantra of the Left when it comes to Castro's socialist paradise: at least they have free health care. Newsmax via Junkyard Blog:

Top Czech model Helena Houdova was arrested in Cuba last week while taking photographs of Havana's slums – but she managed to smuggle out pictures she hid in her bra.

Houdova – Miss Czech Republic 1999 – was arrested along with fellow model Mariana Kroftova, and Cuban police confiscated a roll of film in the women’s camera. However, Houdova concealed the memory card of her digital camera insider her brassiere.

"The revolution's watchmen rose up because I was taking pictures of something they do not like," Houdova told journalists after returning to the Czech Republic.

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Do not follow this link. I'm warning you. It could get you fired.

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CDR Salamander has this expose about the court marshall of Lt. Bryan Black for "sexual harassment". Apparently the vulgar language=sexual harrassment crowd has taken over our nation's most foul-mouthed institution. Clearly this is not my grandfather's Navy.

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Finally a calendar that says "I'm Christian" and "I love to lust after nude women" all in one. Move over Hooker Headers, here comes the erotic bible calendar! I'm thinking that Professor Chaos might finally be won over to Jebus with this one.

You can see some of the calendar here. (NSFW or Church or Synagogue and definitely NSFM [not safe for mosque]) Unfortunately for you pervs, the calendar is sold out.

Perhaps the most disturbing thing about this--besides the fact that's it's a fundraiser for a Christian youth group--is the fact that there is a disclaimer on the site that reveals that some of the models were under 18. So, is this German 'Christian' organization peddling child-porn for Jesus?

I guess that simply being nude doesn't meet the legal requirement for child pornography, but it is kind of creepy. I mean, exactly what do these people think guys are going to be doing while looking at these hot young chicks in erotic poses? Contemplating the mysteries of the Trinity?

Apparently the kids who were over 16 but under 18 had permission from their parents to pose nude for the calendar. Yeah, I'll let my little Grettle pose nude, I mean, as long as it's for Christ. This is equally disturbing. more...

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Hot Muslim model Michelle Leslie has been warned by Muslim leaders that it is un-Islamic to model lingerie. The Australian model apparently converted to Islam as a way to convince a Bali court to reduce her drug sentence to the minimum.

UPDATE: The original indictment was for 15 years, but after her 'conversion' to Islam, the sentence was reduced to 3 months. Also of interest is that the nude pics once in her model portfolio have apparently been removed. Wouldn't want to offend the Islamic court in Indonesia.....

The Courier-Mail:

AN Islamic leader has warned convicted drug user Michelle Leslie not to continue living as a Muslim if she plans to go back to modelling underwear.

But even as an Indonesian court imposed a three-month sentence which will see her out of jail as early as today, the Australian fashion industry was preparing for her return, with claims she already has two assignments booked.

Leslie's final appearance in the Bali court yesterday was without the Muslim headdress she adopted at the start of her trial after announcing her conversion to Islam. ....

Australian Federation of Islamic Councils president Dr Ameer Ali said: "If she is a practising Muslim, I don't think she should go back to her job as an underwear model – because Islam is all about modesty. "She can't have it both ways . . . either practise Islam and do something decent, or don't practise it at all."

According to the Islamic faith, a practising Muslim must observe a set of rules including being honourable, dignified, gracious, law-abiding, modest, clean – and not consuming drugs or alcohol.

Which Michelle Leslie do you support?

a) Muslim Michelle Leslie?

b) Infidel Michelle Leslie? more...

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Fresh on the heels of being named the woman 57% of college girls want to have sex with (story here), Angelina Jolie has another 'good gay' related title: world's most desirable gay-marriage partner. The Sun:

ANGELINA JOLIE is the woman lesbians would most like to marry, according to a new poll by Gaydar Radio.

The bisexual stunner beat fellow actresses Charlize Theron and Jodie Foster to the top spot with 32 per cent of the vote.

Because at The Jawa Report, we bring you the important stories....... more...

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Bluto is oppressing the masses today by playing golf with his son. While Bluto amuses his atavistic capitalistic impulses with a game that celebrates the symbolic rape of oppressed peoples everywhere, I, Otulb the Terrible, shall explain to you why today is not a holiday, but an occasion to mourn with the wearing of sackcloth and the gnashing of teeth.

We are called to "celebrate" the birth of an Italian merchant prince, a rogue whose name is Anglicized to "Christopher Columbus", who we are lead to believe is responsible for the "discovery" of the "New World". Blasphemy! Columbus merely happened upon a world previously discovered by its pure, innocent, peaceful, indigenous peoples who were living in a state of equilibrium with sacred Nature. Columbus allowed all of the evil that flowed from the reactionary proto-capitalist centers of trade and commerce in Europe.

Centuries before, Leif Ericson had noted the existence of the Americas and correctly identified the inhabitants as sharing the peaceful, nature-loving tenets of his own misunderstood Viking culture. Ericson lovingly protected the environment of the American aborigines by concealing its existence from the monstrous monarchical regimes already oppressing most of Europe. The gentle Viking knew, from the oppression practiced against his people by the vicious barbarians to the south, that the rapacious Europeans would spell doom for the worthy cultures flourishing in the "New World".

But the greedy merchant princes of Italy and Spain were not to be denied. Not satisfied with their growing oppression of the peaceful Japanese and Chinese cultures, they sought a shorter route to impose their will on their Asian brothers and discovered an innocent childlike race to brutalize.

All modern evil has flowed from the voyage of Columbus. It was his "discovery" that allowed the rise of the maniacal West, through the exploitation of the resources of the Americas. Surely, Adolph Hitler would have succeeded in wiping the stain of Western civilization from the map had it not been for the intervention of the diseased oligarchy running the United States. Likewise, Brother Lenin's holy experiment in raising up the oppressed masses came to grief only through the intervention of the imperial American hegemonistic bourgeoisie and their running dog lackeys in NATO. Even today, the vile scions of American imperialist exploiters afflict and oppress our peaceful Muslim brothers in pursuit of the Holy Oil.

Otulb the Terrible invites you to join him in cursing the memory of the evil merchant prince who has brought so much suffering into the world.

Down with Christopher Columbus! Vile Oppressor of Generations and Tool of the Worldwide Capitalist Conspiracy!

Otulb has also posted this right-thinking historical document at The Dread Pundit Bluto.

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Oh sweet serendipity! My two favorite pastimes come together: oggling Britney Spears' scantilly clad bosoms and hurricane relief! Britney Spears is auctioning off a diamond-encrusted bra on eBay, and it's all for charity. You can see the eBay auction here, but you'll have to cough up $16k for the current high bid. And with four days left this it's sure to go higher.

If Britney's bra isn't enough, you can own her bikini or even a pair of her boxer shorts. Britney Spears wears boxer shorts?

This actually looks like it is the same bikini as seen in a number of papparazi shots of Britney around the pool. Er, not that I've ever seen them before, or, er, not that I wanted to go surfing for these photos, but because I care about you, dear reader, I have a photo comparison below.

She's auctioning off a second bikini here, and a third bikini here, and a fourth....... wait, how many freaking bikinis can Britney Spears possibly own?!?!! Alas, no papparazi pics of her in the rest of them that I could find....and trust me, I looked! But that last one is going for $50, which is actually below retail. If it wasn't for the cootie factor I'd be inclined to buy that one for Mrs. Shackleford.....

And if price is a problem, why not buy this lovely Dolce and Gabbana nude halter top worn by Britney Spears? Did I just manage to work the word nude into the same sentence as Britney Spears?

What woman wouldn't want a shirt worn by Britney Spears that says 'Get Some' across the chest? Come on, that's class.....

And the cheapest item at the Britney Spears charity auction for hurricane victims? Drumroll please....Tuscan Garden Lavender Soap at just a few pennies over $15. So that you can wash all of Kevin Federline's DNA off of your hands after a day rummaging through your new wardrobe.

Breitbart:

US pop princess Britney Spears is giving her all to help victims of Hurricane Katrina in the US state of Mississippi -- even one of her bra's, the eBay auction site showed.

The 23-year-old former teen queen, famed for her provocative stage outfits, has donated a treasure trove of personal items -- including a two-piece sofa, a bikini and a jewel-encrusted brassiere -- to be auctioned off to help victims.

The "white-stone" undergarment, worn by the singer in one of her music videos, sports "a variety of sizes of round white stones and silver-tone beads in this intricately designed bra," according to online auctioneer eBay.

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Bad Polygamy

Good Polygamy

Because Steve the Llama Butcher asked and Michelle Malkin didn't want the answer....

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The Supreme Court of the United States has agreed to hear Anna Nicole Smith's probate case. The case of Vickie Lynn Marshall (aka, Anna Nicole Smith) vs. E. Pierce Marshall centers on whether a federal bankruptcy court can rule on wills and estates.

Anna Nicole Smith's laywer claims she will personally be at the Supreme Court during the hearing. Let the media circus begin!

Why would the Supreme Court agree to hear Anna Nicole Smith's case? Two reasons: The Rule of Four and TrimSpa.

It takes four justices to agree to hear a case. Remember, there are seven men on the Supreme Court--four of which are presumed to be straight (Stephens and Breyer are iffy). Plus you have Ginsburg--you know what I'm talking about. And you're going to tell me Thomas wasn't leading the charge? He's a swinger baby!

Another victory for corporate America. I mean do you think the old Anna Nicole Smith would have had a snowball's chance in hell of getting her case heard had the TrimSpa corporation not done their magic? Let's not forget the silicon-industrial complex here.

LA Times:

In 1993, Smith was Playboy's Playmate of the Year, and shortly afterward, the 26-year-old married Texas oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall. He was 89, and a fan of her strip act.

He died a year later, and Smith has fought with Marshall's son, Pierce, over an estate valued at more than $1.6 billion.

A Texas probate judge ruled that Marshall's son was his sole heir and entitled to his fortune. However, a federal bankruptcy judge in California later ruled that Marshall's son had schemed to move assets from his father's estate. Smith was awarded $88 million in damages.

Although the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals concluded that the probate ruling should stand, the Supreme Court agreed to hear the dispute to decide when, if ever, bankruptcy judges can rule on probate matters.

Presenting the certiorari worthy versus uncertiorari worthy Anna Nicole Smith. more...

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Things were just about getting back to normal in New Orleans. The lushes were out in force, transvestyte hookers were trickling back into the city, and a strip club had reopened to service the needs of armies of insurance adjusters and lonely FEMA workers. There were even rumors of a new Girls Gone Wild: Hurricane Victims edition about to begin production work. Alas, it will all have to wait. Damn you Rita! Damn you to hell!!!

If you want to see the picture accompanying this story, better check out Riehl World View--and yes, that picture actually was part of a news story. Because journalists are after the important scoops. Notice that both the Reuters story and the pic that Dan Riehl have is of the same stripper. Why do I have the feeling that one Reuters reporter is a very satisfied customer? Reuters :

In a sign that things may be returning to normal in New Orleans, strip shows are back in the city's famous French Quarter.

Erotic dancers and strippers are entertaining crowds of police, firefighters and military personnel instead of the usual audiences of drunken conventioneers and tourists in Bourbon Street's Deja Vu club, which reopened this week.

It's the first strip joint to resume business, three weeks after Hurricane Katrina struck in the worst natural disaster ever to hit the United States.

"It's nice to get back to work, and all these men need some entertainment," Dawn Beasley, 27, a dancer at the club, said on Tuesday night. "They haven't seen anybody but their buddies for two weeks."

The crowd hooted and hollered as women peeled off their tops and gyrated, as customers tucked tips into their G-strings.

Interviewed by a reporter for the local TV station, Abby over at Baby Dolls said she had seen many clients using their debit cards. She had nothing but praise for this exercise in government largesse. “A lot of customers have been coming in from Louisiana and they’ve been real happy about the $1.75 beers and they’re really nice.” It was only fair, she added that they should get a little publicly funded help. “You lost your whole house, then, why not?” she said. “You might want some beer in a strip club. There are a lot of guys out there that like to do that.”

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The Maximum Leader waxes poetic.

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