. From the Island of Doctor Moreau, you know Hawaii,
that some corporate jackass with nothing better to do decided to force a whale and a dolphin to hump. Well, maybe
isn't the right word. I hear some dolphins like the big whale c*ck. They were just born that way!
I knew gay marriage would lead to this.
And for all you wholphin porn fans, here's a pic (scroll down). Apparently Dr. Moreau did this thing ten years ago too. Only they spelled it wolphin back in the day. You know, so as not to offend any one.
1
H.G. Wells' estate should sue this clown.
Posted by: Young Bourbon Professional at April 15, 2005 09:44 AM (x+5JB)
2
"
I hear some dolphins like the big whale c*ck"
I believe the proper term for whale penis is "dork".
Posted by: Jason Smith at April 15, 2005 11:12 AM (DG8d8)
3
Wholphins will conquer the world once they figure out that whole bipedal thingy!
Posted by: Dan at April 15, 2005 11:47 AM (q3pwu)
4
I did a dolphin once. Now I'm glad I wore a condom.
Posted by: Bill from INDC at April 15, 2005 12:20 PM (yZMsp)
5
Yeah, a friend of mine once paid to swim with the dolphins. Let's just say the "Dolphin Experience" left my friend confused and riddled with guilt and the dolphin more than a little satisfied.
Posted by: Rusty Shackleford at April 15, 2005 12:45 PM (JQjhA)
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Wouldn't it just be easier to call it a "dale?"
Posted by: Confederate Yankee at April 15, 2005 12:57 PM (8NAWe)
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A "friend" eh Rusty? Sure, we believe you.
Posted by: Defense Guy at April 15, 2005 01:41 PM (jPCiN)
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Dolphins have PREHENSILE penises they use to perform coitus captivus. Swear to God!
Posted by: greg at April 15, 2005 01:55 PM (/+dAV)
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Female hyenas have clits that mimic male genitalia, live in matriarchal societies and butt fuck male hyenas as sign of their dominance over them. Swear to God.
DonÂ’t let the feminazis find this out. Female reproductive biologists, who usually happen to be lesbians, are already aware of this fact, but it hasnÂ’t gotten out to the general female population yet, nor should it.
Posted by: greg at April 15, 2005 02:02 PM (/+dAV)
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Ya, but Greg, is the dolphin pitching or catching?
Posted by: Brad at April 15, 2005 02:03 PM (NzgK/)
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Um, Doctor Shack...err, Dr. Jawa:
From the article it says:
Kekaimalu, whose name means 'from the peaceful ocean,' was born 19 years ago after a surprise coupling between a 14-foot, 2,000-pound false killer whale and a 6-foot, 400-pound dolphin. The animals were the leads in the park's popular tourist water show, featured in the Adam Sandler movie '50 First Dates.'...Kekaimalu has given birth to two other calves. One lived for nine years and the other, born when Kekaimalu was very young, died a few days after birth...Park researchers suspect the wholphin's father is a 15-foot long Atlantic bottlenose dolphin named Mikioi....'He seems to be totally oblivious to this happening,' Lenzi said..."
So the, um, appealing factors you're suggsting as to said coupling seem to be quite the opposite of what is likely to exist. A female larger than a male by, well, 400 percent morphology overall is likely to find the (much) smaller male appealing based upon the formula you're suggesting. Although it is said that the tiny French painter, Talouse Latrec (hope I spelled that corrctly, if not, so?), had a certain appeal to his female dancers who were four times his height.
Oh, the wonders of nature.
Posted by: -S- at April 15, 2005 02:39 PM (3dQxV)
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In this case, female/mom was in excess of 200 percent larger than male/dad.
Posted by: -S- at April 15, 2005 02:41 PM (3dQxV)
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"...female isn't likely to find..." sorry.
Posted by: -S- at April 15, 2005 02:42 PM (3dQxV)
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Yes! This is the kind of stuff that brightens a slightly drunk guys day.
Posted by: A Finn at April 15, 2005 03:12 PM (lGolT)
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LESSONS FROM A LESBIAN SPECIES OF LIZARD
Nature is full of examples relative to human society. There is an all female species of lizard, Cnemidophorus uniparens, that gives virgin birth (Parthenogenesis). Two females will team up with each other. For two weeks one acts as the “male” and the other female and then they switch. They pretend to have sex with the male actor violently grabbing the female actor by the neck and swinging “his” cloaca in juxtaposition to “hers”. This courtship behavior has been shown in the laboratory to increase clutch size (the number of eggs laid at one time), presumably by affecting the endocrinology of the female actor. So even when “men’s” gametes aren’t required, male courtship behavior is beneficial to females.
Maybe that's why some women like it rough...an evolutionary vestige.
Posted by: greg at April 15, 2005 03:17 PM (/+dAV)
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Hey, I think my biology teacher mentioned how to start parthenogenesis in human females.
Something about taking hormones to prevent periods from starting and then taking a mild poison that interferes with the cells dividing, so they only halve themselves and when the egg starts going down the pipes, it has a full set of chromosomes, attaches to the sides and starts growing regularly, as long as anti-period hormones are used all the time.
Posted by: A Finn at April 15, 2005 03:23 PM (lGolT)
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A Finn: You must kill your biology teacher and all classmates that were present. We must never let women know that they don't need us.
Posted by: greg at April 15, 2005 04:08 PM (/+dAV)
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Nah, if someone would actually go through that to get kids, anti-cloners and people against all unnatural would probably force them to abort.
Posted by: A Finn at April 15, 2005 04:43 PM (lGolT)
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Greg
We already know
Posted by: sparky at April 15, 2005 04:44 PM (F1nba)
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Suzy, yeah, I know. It's just funnier to say "big whale c*ck"!
Posted by: Rusty Shackleford at April 15, 2005 04:54 PM (JQjhA)
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And cross a eagle with a lion and you,ll get GRIFFIN and well what would you get if you crossed a conservative with a liberal? NOTHING liberals are too disagreeable and conservatives are always right
Posted by: sandpiper at April 16, 2005 08:10 AM (AOQk0)
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Perhaps the dolphin daddy knows what to do with it. He is basically one talented baby-daddy!
Posted by: Big Whale C*ck Lovers at April 19, 2005 01:40 AM (xUgQn)
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Hi,
Tolouse le Trec may be a little closer - I am no expert.
The above posts raise several interesting questions
How long does mammalian spermatozoa survive outside a potential 'proper receptacle'?
Is it capable of independant marine life, and if so for how long?
Does it possess enough genes to represent a potentially permanently 'lethal combination' of such?.
Is there a risk of perpetual hybridisation of the two species; or are either of them at permanent risk of (wild-populated), eventual extinction.
Speaking to Finn: I have never really understood the genetic nor even theoretically mathematical benefits of parthenogensis. Although rare, these advantages must exist. Aphids* are good example.
Another springs easily to mind (No disrepect).
I would like to think that the middle* experiment (by nature)is some sort of breeding experiment gone 'right'.
Nick (No fem: broke nose 6 times playing rugby.)
Still love the old footy and women (even if they hurt more!)
Posted by: Nicholas James Reid at June 16, 2005 05:23 PM (F1nba)
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