August 13, 2005

When America Gets Nuked, What Will the Extreme Left Say?(Caption Contest Winners Announced)

Noam_Chomsky.jpg

CONTEST WINNERS ANNOUNCED

Bumper Stickerist: Reaping the whirlwind: Women and minorities suffer most during the inevitable aftermath of EuroAmerican patriarchal hegemony.

Cassandra: Why didn't the U.S. military PROTECT US????? [sound of hideous shrieking]

Flea: Militant activists attack occupied Aztlan! Free Aztlan from American imperialism!

More fun stuff below and in comments section. Is some sort of nuclear attack in the U.S. inevetable? American Digest seems to think so. What will the extreme Left say when San Diego is no more? Flea, as always, has the answer:

- this is come-uppance for Hiroshima and Nagasaki (the name Okinawa will remain unspoken) and the United States military is to blame
- this is about Iraq, no matter what al-Qaeda cites as its purposes, and consequently the United States military is to blame
- this attack could not have been carried out by al-Qaeda, therefore Israel must be to blame
-if al-Qaeda could be proven to have carried out the attack then the accused should be tried as criminals in an "international court of law" because the accused could not be given a fair trial in the United States. anything else will be described as a "war crime" [READ THE REST]
Other excuses the extreme Left will use after the U.S. is nuked?

-We unconditionally condemn this act of terrorism, but the terrorism committed by the U.S. government over the years......
-East Timor! What about East Timor?!?
-CAIR: "All acts of terrorism are bad, but we must distinguish acts of terror from legitimate resistance."

Posted by: Rusty at 04:35 PM | Comments (31) | Add Comment
Post contains 269 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Are terrorists right in what they do? Hell no! But did we provoke their anger by using and exploiting other people and cultures to our own personal gain? Hell yes! As long as we never change our attitude towards the rest of the world we can expect that people will keep getting pissed off and trying to kill us. We can try to kill them faster but that will only piss off their brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, cousins, aunts, uncles and children. Eye for an eye until the whole world is blind. cut and pasted from an actual moombat quote

Posted by: moonbat at August 10, 2005 01:30 PM (3OPZt)

2 whitey had it coming to him.

Posted by: Carlos at August 10, 2005 02:17 PM (8e/V4)

3 Bush lied, people fried! Bush lied, people fried! *slaps bumper sticker across forehead* http://www.flickr.com/photos/1270702_1af6e8889c.jpg

Posted by: Princess Kimberley at August 10, 2005 02:50 PM (8sXP/)

4 This is the harvest of http://flushthekoran.blogspot.com.

Posted by: Editor at August 10, 2005 02:58 PM (adpJH)

5 1. Patiently waiting for the new DNC Chairman. The position has been open since the nuclear weapon detonated in parking lot of the Capital in Washington, DC wiped out all Democratic Party members. 2. The world ponders Americas shift to the right as 500,000 members of the Democratic party have gone missing and are feared dead in the aftermath of the mysterious bread truck explosion in NYC yesterday.

Posted by: Fred Fry at August 10, 2005 02:58 PM (JXdhy)

6 What if said nuke exploded in San Francisco, LA, NY, Seattle or Washington DC? I wonder if any minds would be changed. One of the apparent choice targets would be my hometown. If we got obliterated, I imagine that quite of few of the residents of the above would say "good." That is, until they noticed that there was no more gasoline or plastic or fertilizer and such.

Posted by: Steve in Houston at August 10, 2005 03:13 PM (Im/ra)

7 Actually... I was going to do a post on this a couple days ago because I think that the real challenge Hiroshima presents has to do with the humane response to a perhaps inevitable nuclear attack on a U.S. city (which I agree is very, very possible)... but your nutso blog on the Japanese nuclear program distracted me... An excellent idea for a contest by the way (what about a reverse contest involving the predictable righty response?). But I'm fairly certain you should recuse yourself from being a judge, since you haven't ever read Chomsky (pictured above) and you wouldn't know a fair assessment of a serious leftist position if it bit you in your butt.

Posted by: Professor Peter Von Nostrand at August 10, 2005 03:23 PM (REz6/)

8 Moonbat: You are definitely a moonbat for sure. How many of these so called trodden upon minorities did not sign up on their own. Answer? none. No one twisted anyone's arms. America is just better at business. Exactly what other people and culture are we exploiting. Can you name any? More stupid leftist loser bullshit. Same commie bullshit since the 1920s. Never anything new. Von Nostril: The reason no one is on your blog is because you're a fucking nut. Anyone who believes American troops by the 100,000s should have died to end the Japanese war is the fucking traitor. That is exactly what would had happened had we chose to invade. They started the war. The resulting blame is theirs. Not ours.

Posted by: greyrooster at August 10, 2005 03:44 PM (CBNGy)

9 Uh, greyrooster, 'moonbat' was being ironical. This is a 'caption contest'.......

Posted by: Rusty Shackleford at August 10, 2005 03:47 PM (JQjhA)

10 Damn, now I know what itÂ’s like to be a left wing nut moonbat on the receiving end of a Greyrooster beatin. Hey, I just cut and pasted some lefty post on a democrat blog from Seattle. By the way, congrats on your great fishing victory. I think Carlos wins.

Posted by: Brad at August 10, 2005 03:56 PM (3OPZt)

11 Sorry to digress, but this "eye for and eye until the world goes blind" thing is completely false. Hit accuracy drops significantly with the loss of depth perception with only one eye. And if telescopic sights are used... it's got to be an incrediblity lucky shot to get the last guy. Think about it.

Posted by: Charles at August 10, 2005 03:57 PM (lQ1Or)

12 There's such a thing as a "serious leftist position". This is a family friendly blog, professor, quit bringing up sex. Now the caption contest: If we had got out of Iraq and made Israel get out of Palestine, this would never have happened. But because it did, that is no reason to invade another country.

Posted by: jesusland joe at August 10, 2005 03:59 PM (DDXXI)

13 Is there ever any actual content in any of Nosestrand's posts? Anyway, what the Left says just won't matter. It'll be the voices from the Jacksonian Right who will determine the response, and the Left's commentary will just be noise. I'm not needling, because I don't think that's necessarily appropriate, but I know this country. There might be a brief hiatus before an all out counter-strike, and about the most optimistic scenario is that the US would wait or would just respond "in kind" (tit for tat) until a second attack removed all doubt about the coming trend. But frankly, the odds of that are pretty low. Arabia will simply be perceived as a cancer that has to be irradiated, of course preserving the oil fields. I'm not being cynical either. This is as noncontroversial as the idea that the sun sets at the end of the day. The logical inference of a nuclear attack on the US is that it's an act of genocide, and there's no way to modulate or intervene in the process because of the nature of terrorism. (Essentially there's no one to negotiate with who can be held to an agreement.) Since we can't dissuade the enemy from genocide the only defense is genocide. That's the harsh reality. But I'm not convinced such an attack will occur in the first place. Arabia and its people are worth saving, no matter what Nosestrand and his ilk say. While we still have freedom to choose our actions we can choose to negate that element of Arabia that constitutes the actual problem by (what else) luring them into a confrontation over liberal values, and just killing them as efficiently as we can with conventional forces, our databases, and some electronic surveillance gizmos. Which is what we're doing in Iraq folks. You know, it occurs to me that we might be focussing on the wrong aspect of Islamic culture when we emphasize their intolerance toward liberal democracy, women's and minority rights, clannishness, aversion to knowledge and modernity, hypersensitivity to shame, etc., etc.. Perhaps what they need is some really good whisky (which is Gaelic for "living waters" actually), and a rip-roarin' girls-gone-wild blowout? Sort of clears the sinuses. Know what I mean?

Posted by: Demosophist at August 10, 2005 04:02 PM (IbWE6)

14 Rusty. I'd love for you to explain to me how, if the right has its crazies under control, how the Kansas school board has decided to adopt Intelligent Design as part of its science curriculum.

Posted by: Professor Peter Von Nostrand at August 10, 2005 05:52 PM (REz6/)

15 damn, those are some long ass captions: What will the left say when an American city gets nuked - or rendered uninhabitable due to a dirty bomb: 1) Reaping the whirlwind: Women and minorities suffer most during the inevitable aftermath of EuroAmerican patriarchal hegemony. 2) At last, the US has taken off its jackboots and walked a mile in the moccassins of the oppressed, now the healing can begin. 3) The real tragedy isn't the 203,000 dead and counting, the 1.5 million who are left homeless or without a place to work, or the hundreds of billions of dollars of damage done to the infrastructure to the United States and the other economic impacts of this bombing; the real tragedy is that this was avoidable. 4) The remaining Ivy League Schools express regret for the loss of Harvard and condolences for the alumni and family of those who died in the explosion, yet they refuse to condemn the action as being that of a terrorist organization.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at August 10, 2005 05:58 PM (C14d5)

16 Rusty, are you sure that Professor Von Nostrand is not Greg. He has the same habit Greg had of not staying on topic. Plus he is a dumn ass to boot.

Posted by: jesusland joe at August 10, 2005 06:32 PM (DDXXI)

17 Thanks for the linkage, Dr. Rusty. If we go with American Digest's San Diego target choice we can add: "Militant activists attack occupied Aztlan! Free Aztlan from American imperialism!"

Posted by: Flea at August 10, 2005 10:21 PM (TsJea)

18 >>>What if said nuke exploded in San Francisco, LA, NY, Seattle or Washington DC? Proof that there's a silver lining to just about anything bad.

Posted by: Carlos at August 10, 2005 11:09 PM (8e/V4)

19 Fortunately we won't have this problem since Glorious Leader's war on terror will protect us. Too bad the blue states carry all the weight financially for this country. You red state morons would be in deep shit without us.

Posted by: toM at August 11, 2005 01:34 PM (2b46R)

20 Oh, indeed, toM. I'd much rather try to do without wheat, corn, soybeans, chicken, beef, apples, gas for my car, electricity for my house than wait a week for the stock, bond, and commodities markets to reconstitute themselves. Much easier to recreate (or duplicate) a financial center than a field these days, isn't it? It's not "Glorious Leader's" war on terror; it's our nation's war on terror, together with other like-minded but less well armed allies; ask your Congresspeople. And "terror" stands as a proxy for a brand of Islamism that wants you and everyone like you, and me and everyone like me, but especially you and everyone like you, dead or converted-without-possibility-of-unconversion. Blue-state so-and-so.

Posted by: Jamie at August 11, 2005 01:53 PM (+PMxx)

21 "I'd love for you to explain to me how, if the right has its crazies under control, how the Kansas school board has decided to adopt Intelligent Design as part of its science curriculum." A better question is, How did they ever teach Darwin, which is pure, unsubstantiated speculation?

Posted by: Young Bourbon Professional at August 11, 2005 02:22 PM (x+5JB)

22 What will the far left say? "I told you we should have moved to Canada" Ba da Boom. Crash. "Hon. Get out the marshmellows." Ba da Boom. Crash. "This is what you get for voting Republican" Ba da Boom. Crash. "Arrrrrggggghhhhh zzzz fry sizzle pop" Ba da Boom. Crash. "America. Now with glow in the dark goodness." Ba da Boom Crash Of course leftist won't say anything because there aren't any leftists in America. There are just manufactured strawmen. Fox news will pay some drunken crack whore to ware a Pro Choice botton and say death to America on camera. After which all Americans with political views to the left of Bill Falalfel O'Reily will be shipped to concentration camps in Western Kansas and Oklahoma for "reasearch purposes". God Bless America. Land of the ...

Posted by: Northern Observer at August 11, 2005 03:30 PM (L0dY/)

23 Kansas is a blue state. They are just morally conservative. But they (farmers) still love the handouts (subsidies) that come from Uncle Sam.

Posted by: Kstumpf at August 11, 2005 03:37 PM (GImrl)

24 Anarco-Syndicalism, that is a mouthful. This Chomsky dude is a genius moron. How can anyone advocate the elimination of capitalism and management structure, yet strive so hard to be top of the class? He completely contadicts himself. How does he know to use the bathroom without accidentally eating from the toilette bowl?

Posted by: Kstumpf at August 11, 2005 03:44 PM (GImrl)

25 I didn't think iguanas grew so big or breath lightning.

Posted by: Butch at August 11, 2005 03:47 PM (Gqhi9)

26 What the Left will say? Easy: 1. "It's the Jooooooooooooooooooooooooooos!" 2. "If only we'd established a dialogue with them sooner... [sob!]" 3. "See? This just proves that violence never solves anything." 4. "Mission Accomplished, W." And my personal favorite... 5. "Why didn't the U.S. military PROTECT US?????" [sound of hideous shrieking]

Posted by: Cassandra at August 11, 2005 04:28 PM (eKdAq)

27 Moonbats would say: We had it comming Only one? I BLAME BUSH! Our nukes provoced them in the first place Flipper says you were too soft on terror Now we can plant a forest in the crater and make the city more greener.

Posted by: Ren at August 11, 2005 05:55 PM (a9tRx)

28 Yea. I also think Carlos wins. Just that anything close to blameing whitey doesn't go down well with me. Of course, who else is there to blame. No one else ever does anything.

Posted by: greyrooster at August 13, 2005 07:38 AM (CBNGy)

29 As the mushroom cloud rises in the background: "Of all the things I've seen today, the increased military presence frightens me the most..." "WHY couldn't the terrorists have nuked Crawford, Texas or Miami Beach, Florida? Why did they have to nuke a whole city full of Democrats instead of killing Republicans?" "I'll tell my daughter that we had it coming, and that the American flag stands for tyranny, brutality and running the Bill of Rights through a shredder..." "The important thing now is not to rush into a military blunder; this can be handled diplomatically..." "Did I mention that I served in Vietnam?" or would I be cheating if I just recycle things the Left ahs already said?

Posted by: DaveP. at August 13, 2005 05:20 PM (9ZxRw)

30 Fred Fry said: "1. Patiently waiting for the new DNC Chairman. The position has been open since the nuclear weapon detonated in parking lot of the Capital in Washington, DC wiped out all Democratic Party members." I would add "Rumor has it that all Republican Party politicians were warned ahead of time not to go to work that day."

Posted by: Oyster at August 14, 2005 10:05 AM (YudAC)

31 Northern Obliviouser, a new contender for title of Village Idiot, drooled: "Of course leftist won't say anything because there aren't any leftists in America." Oh, but of course not. "There are just manufactured strawmen." Yep, made in a brand new strawman manufacturing facitility in Kansas. They also do tin-men and cowardly lions. "Fox news will pay some drunken crack whore to ware a Pro Choice botton and say death to America on camera." They must have a HUGE budget, because the dhimmicrats sure have a lot of drunken crack whores working for them. "After which all Americans with political views to the left of Bill Falalfel [sic] O'Reily will be shipped to concentration camps in Western Kansas and Oklahoma for "reasearch [sic] purposes"." WTF? Falalfel? You moron, it doesn't even make sense, and you misspelled it anyway. Holy mother of pearl, you're a dumbass. You're definitely an idiot liberal, and you must be canadian, because only a canadian liberal could be so stupid. And as to the message of the last part, I have but one thing to say; "not soon enough". I would love to pack you mewling retards onto cattle cars and send you off to the ovens, or better yet, decorate every street light and power pole in America with your stinking corpses. And by the way, liberal idiots, when you send me hate mail, try to make sense, because I hate to waste my time reading something that sounds like it came from a brain damaged chimpanzee who writes by throwing bananas at the keyboard.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at August 14, 2005 10:38 AM (0yYS2)

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