May 18, 2005
The day the Church went berserk
(Note: this posting takes some dramatic license with the facts of what is mostly a true story. But I did confirm it with three sources: me , myself, and I.)
Back in high school, one fine summer day after services, at the First Self-Righteous Church in that Sleepy Little Town of Pascagoula, I was talking to my friend's mom in the foyer when a large spider rappelled down the wall beside us. I reflexively whacked it with what I had in my hand, which was a brown-leather New International Version Bible I'd been given when I was baptized.
My friend's mom looked somewhat disapproving. "It was a Brown Recluse!" I extemporized. "I had to kill it!"
"But with a Bible?" she asked. And then she killed me, and the congregation stuck my head way on top of the steeple as a warning. I sure learned my lesson!
Posted by: seedubya at
07:00 PM
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1
Shame on you young man you will rot in hell for your sins
/off
Does that mean i can go out and kill some people now cos youve offended me big time killing that poor spider! bad bad bad!
Posted by: sparky at May 18, 2005 08:10 PM (F1nba)
2
You used the Word of God???
The spider had to be taken out somehow.
I'm one of those Star Wars freaks. We saw it on Friday, the 13th at a premiere. It was grrreat! I posted a picture on my blog, but then again you don't care.
Visit my blog for a good, hearty laugh.
Posted by: Jamie Dawn at May 18, 2005 09:06 PM (WXA8l)
3
Oh no, Sparky, I should have known that posting this story would cause riots and murder! Darn!
Posted by: See-Dubya at May 19, 2005 12:40 AM (eby9C)
4
Nope, that part's a line from a Ray Stevens song, the "Mississippi Squirrel Revival". I was at the time of this story living in Oklahoma. Never been to Mississippi.
Posted by: See-Dubya at May 19, 2005 01:49 AM (eby9C)
5
Paskakola rofl. That spider felt the power of Lord smite him down, so he probably went straight to bug heaven, where he bites people for all eternity.
Posted by: A Finn at May 19, 2005 04:12 AM (cWMi4)
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