Fatwas will be issued Monday. I promise, because I have the next 3 days off.
Suckers. Heh.
Mr. Venom: "Seriously guys, do you really think I need some Just for Men? The beard's a little grey, sure, but what about these eyebrows? They're beautiful!"
Steve Sharon: "Lance Itoh collected clocks, I collect microphones. Allah has told me to do this."
1
"Oh, Baby, you are so talented...and they are so dumb!"
Posted by: See-Dubya at January 15, 2006 03:01 AM (NZHCc)
2
"How can you not see the glow around this finger? Can you not see the power with which Allah will destroy the infidels? No? Oops, sorry, wrong finger..."
Posted by: AbbaGav at January 15, 2006 04:24 AM (5Olpo)
3
Not a caption, but thanks for playing, asswipe
Posted by: Dan at January 15, 2006 04:27 AM (Z2OsI)
4
"Are you completely Nuts?"
Posted by: Dan at January 15, 2006 04:41 AM (Z2OsI)
Posted by: Dan at January 15, 2006 04:55 AM (Z2OsI)
6
"It looks like shiite, it smells like shiite, but does it
taste like shiite?"
Posted by: MACV at January 15, 2006 05:59 AM (xwM+4)
7
Allah said to me: "The 12th imam will come back to Earth and hold the gun this way and bob your nose if you give up MY Nukes!!!" What the heck, I need a nose job anyway and we want the 12th to return so the world can end. What more can I say?
Posted by: bubbe at January 15, 2006 06:04 AM (cbAi4)
8
"The next person to call me Foulmood Almondjeans is gonna get it ... like this, see?"
or...
"When I went to Tehran University we played this game called Russian Roulette. Those Russians, they were so whacky. Those were the days. We're still pretty close, even after all these years."
Posted by: Oyster at January 15, 2006 06:20 AM (YudAC)
9
"Please, please don't nuke us for nothing, you know I'm not making nukes. Look, I'm crying. Spare my people, and especially my incredible riches."
Posted by: A Finn at January 15, 2006 06:27 AM (lGolT)
10
Iranian President Amadinejad demonstrates to reporters how for all his life 'Zionist neurological poisons' have prevented him from accurately doing impressions of his childhood hero: "The Love Boat" bartender, Isaac - a problem the 12th imam will be expected to solve upon his arrival.
Posted by: Graeme at January 15, 2006 06:38 AM (lS5ae)
11
After announcing his nuclear ambitions, President Ahmadinejad further entertains the press corps by singing a song from his childhood.
"Two old mahdis lying in bed,
One rolled over and the other one said,
Get your finger out of it - it don't belong to you.
Won't give you a little piece no matter what you do.
Don't you shiver. Don't you shake.
All I'm talking about is my yellow cake.
Get your finger out of it - it don't belong to you-u-u-u."
Posted by: Dinah Lord at January 15, 2006 07:44 AM (y6n8O)
12
What are the bloody rags hanging in the greenery behind the loon . . .parts of lame stream media that didn't believe his finger was loaded?
Posted by: justme2 at January 15, 2006 07:57 AM (XU9K/)
13
"I see you! I see you over there making faces at me! To the crains with him!"
Posted by: Howie at January 15, 2006 09:26 AM (D3+20)
14
Nobody move or the towelhead gets it!
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 15, 2006 09:28 AM (0yYS2)
15
hahahaha! Good one, Maxie.
Posted by: Oyster at January 15, 2006 09:35 AM (YudAC)
16
(to the voices in his head)
Are you talking to me?
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at January 15, 2006 09:49 AM (DdRjH)
17
"Do you feel lucky, punk?"
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at January 15, 2006 09:50 AM (DdRjH)
18
"...and Mohamed ElBaradei makes a gesture to me like this, and he said "You will give up your nuclear ambition OR ELSE" when that didn't work he applied a nipple twister, and then a chinese rope burn. Even I, your twelfth Imam broke into a sweat when he broke down and started to draft a harsh letter on United Nations letterhead."
Posted by: dave at January 15, 2006 09:50 AM (CcXvt)
19
Go ahead.
Make my day.
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at January 15, 2006 09:51 AM (DdRjH)
20
"OK...nobody move or the Muslim gets it"
Posted by: Randman at January 15, 2006 09:55 AM (oVJvn)
21
Say hello to my little friend.
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at January 15, 2006 09:57 AM (DdRjH)
22
....so, that in a nutshell is the principal behind our revolutionay new "Finger Guns." Questions? Fine, let's move on then to the "Penis Bazookas..."
Posted by: Drew at January 15, 2006 09:59 AM (oxMjD)
23
Pull my finger and I'll fart the nukes!
Posted by: V at January 15, 2006 10:13 AM (BeTNH)
24
"Itsy-Bitsy spider crawled up the water spout," C'mon, everyone, "...down came the rain and washed..."
Posted by: Drew at January 15, 2006 10:16 AM (oxMjD)
25
...and then I said to Chalabi, "Achmed, have you taken leave of your senses, man? The Americans are much, much too bright to fall for that camel-cart of BS. It'll never fly." Well, ladies and gentlemen of the press, when I'm wrong, I'm the first to admit it...
Posted by: Bob at January 15, 2006 10:40 AM (oxMjD)
26
i just read on michael savage website how george galloway of england who benifited from the united nations food for oil scandal was on british television crawling around like a cat and lapping up imaginary milk in the manner of cats because he wanted to communicate with animals. what a idiot.
Posted by: red state voter in a blue state at January 15, 2006 10:58 AM (BZHuI)
27
"This? A toupe? I will wipe you off the map for this grave insult, you Zionist pig!" says Amareadytomeetallah as he gestures sheepishly at the mop on his head.
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at January 15, 2006 11:09 AM (8e/V4)
28
one more comment about galloway
i think its funny:
PETA = people eating tasty
animals.
i love your website but dont
know where else i can post
Posted by: red state voter living in a blue state at January 15, 2006 11:09 AM (BZHuI)
Posted by: Graeme at January 15, 2006 11:23 AM (lS5ae)
30
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the h*ll else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? Huh? Ok.
Posted by: hondo at January 15, 2006 11:54 AM (3aakz)
31
So I said to Khalid, "Why use a
metaphorical gun." And he said, ....
Posted by: Jeff Medcalf at January 15, 2006 12:41 PM (eer2X)
32
The first rule of Nuke Club is you do not talk about Nuke Club.
The second rule of Nuke Club is you do not talk about Nuke Club.
I'm Tyler Durden...
Posted by: Vercingetorix at January 15, 2006 01:12 PM (LVVcX)
33
Look, I can be a cowboy just like George Bush. Stick'em up, you infidels! Is this thing loaded?
Posted by: jesusland joe at January 15, 2006 01:22 PM (rUyw4)
34
And then I say to Mr. ElBaradei..."first you put the round in the chamber, then you spin the cylinder, and then you do like this."
Posted by: sammy small at January 15, 2006 02:48 PM (DbEIX)
35
Honest, it was like this. The officer said: "Can you touch your finger to your nose without crossing your eyes?" Next thing I knew, I was in the backseat of a patrol car. I swear to you by allah-be-good, I do not drink, I do not take drugs, I am not insane.
Posted by: bubbe at January 15, 2006 02:56 PM (cbAi4)
36
"Do I look like I'm kidding?"
Posted by: Chris at January 15, 2006 03:59 PM (oxMjD)
37
So den I point I gun at the wabbit. Suddenwey, he jumps up and kisses me fuw on da wips! Scewey wabbit!
Posted by: Gordon at January 15, 2006 06:20 PM (i0N3d)
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at January 15, 2006 07:57 PM (8e/V4)
39
Why do I point my finger at my head? Because it's a real gun damnit. Just like the real nukes I'll be tossing your way come later this year. Or not. You decide. I'm that nutty to make this work.
---
That Cleavon Little little bit in Blazing Saddles? Guess where he got that inspiration from...
---
Next time, we use real ammo.
---
My name is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Commander of the Armies of Persia, General of the Islamic Army, loyal servant to the true god, Allah. Father to a martyred son, husband to a shrouded wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
The crowd: The Next. Definitely the next.
Posted by: lawhawk at January 15, 2006 08:23 PM (AqRSC)
40
The President of Iran does his popular Senor Wences the Jihadi act for the Tehran chapter of MoveOn.org.
Posted by: IreneFingIrene at January 15, 2006 09:33 PM (YrP+l)
41
"Lance Itoh collected clocks, I collect microphones. Allah has told me to do this."
Posted by: Steve Sharon at January 15, 2006 10:27 PM (1N8ei)
42
I am living proof my father screws camels.
Posted by: LimoBarbie at January 15, 2006 11:02 PM (Ffvoi)
43
{Wow... it's crazy... everyone looks so much smaller...hehe...} Fatima look! - you got a giant gun next to your head!
Posted by: JTulip at January 15, 2006 11:23 PM (FPKzS)
44
"Say Mark Twain's initials? OK. MT. Hey, wait a minute....."
Posted by: caltechgirl at January 16, 2006 03:50 AM (uI/79)
45
Vinnie, any chance of making the None of the above and 2006 will be peaceful into separate options?
Posted by: A Finn at January 16, 2006 06:33 AM (cWMi4)
46
I should have been in Brokeback Mountain instead of that Jake Gyllinghal character. I coulda been a contenda.
Posted by: lawhawk at January 16, 2006 09:01 AM (Xl0Ie)
47
"C'mon Vinnie...dish out some fatwas or I'm going to lose it!"
or,
"Seriously guys, do you really think I need some Just for Men? The beard's a little grey, sure, but what about these eyebrows? They're beautiful!"
Posted by: Venom at January 16, 2006 10:29 AM (dbxVM)
48
>>>but what about these eyebrows? They're beautiful!"
hehe! funny.
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at January 16, 2006 10:31 AM (8e/V4)
49
I am not drunk! Watch me put my finger on my nose. Wait, let me try once more. Damn! There's something wrong with this finger. Let me try again...
Posted by: JustPlainJoe at January 16, 2006 01:29 PM (+Zpeh)
50
damn! I was so sure I'd at least get an honorable mention.
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at January 16, 2006 02:34 PM (8e/V4)
51
You should have J.L. Carlos, but Vinnie knows that I have the negatives of his nights out "deer hunting".
Posted by: Gordon at January 16, 2006 06:34 PM (i0N3d)
52
Thanks for the honorable mention.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 17, 2006 11:56 AM (0yYS2)
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