Teacher Mr. Muhammad al-Fascidullah says, “Class, Let’s go over some of our quiz questions for Friday’s test. Raise your hands and I’ll call out your name. Remember don’t speak out of turn or the principal’ will deal with you. Right Lefty?”

Lefty raises his left arm.

Mr. al-Fascidullah, “Yes you may speak.”

Lefty, "ItÂ’s hard to write with your left hand."

Teacher, "Yes Lefty. That is hard. Now every religion other than Islam isÂ….?

Hands raise, “Yes Abdullah?”

Abdullah, “Every religion other than Islam is false and whoever dies outside of Islam enters hellfire!”

Mr. al-Fascidullah, “Very good Abdulla! Next question, True belief means?

Hyperactive Mahmood jumps in enthusiastically, "True belief means . . . that you hate the polytheists and infidels but do not treat them unjustly! Just punishment for infidels is Death!”

Mr. al-Fascidullah, “Mahmood! Just punishment for speaking out of turn is?

Mahmood, sheepishly, “My right arm.”

Mr. al-Fascidullah, “One more time young man! But since you are correct I’ll show mercy this time. You really are a good student, you just need more patience. Next questions, Jews are apes Christians are….?

Hands up, “Yes you Fes al-Amerinfidel, our exchange student from the Saudi Islamic School in America, What are they teaching you there?

Fes Recites faithfully, "As cited in Ibn Abbas: The apes are Jews, the people of the Sabbath; while the swine are the Christians, the infidels of the communion of Jesus."

"They are the Jews, whom God has cursed and with whom He is so angry that He will never again be satisfied [with them]."

"Some of the people of the Sabbath were punished by being turned into apes and swine. Some of them were made to worship the devil, and not God, through consecration, sacrifice, prayer, appeals for help, and other types of worship. Some of the Jews worship the devil. Likewise, some members of this nation worship the devil, and not God."

Mr. al-Fascidullah surprised, “Very good! Ok students, we are out of time, It’s time for another special film presentation in the Gym. Today’s movie is titled, Ten Reasons Allah Wants You to Martyr Yourself…

Â…Oh, And donÂ’t forget Blood money for a free infidel is half of the blood money for a male Muslim, whether or not he is 'of the book' or not 'of the book. Blood money for a woman: Half of the blood money for a man, in accordance with his religion. The blood money for a Muslim woman is half of the blood money for a male Muslim, and the blood money for an infidel woman is half of the blood money for a male infidel.

It will be on the test! Dismissed.”

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