Good advice from I forget exactly who. Friends, at my college we were serious about our drinking; even if we didn't drink to get drunk, we knew there were rules about what to drink and when and why. If your woman done left you, I once advised a roommate, you needed to sit in a dark room with some Patsy Cline CD's and a bottle of Jack Daniels, and the glass was optional. If you were at a party where champagne was being served, you could have a glass for the toast, but come on, more than one glass of that and we're going to start insulting your manhood. If you drink whiskey worth drinking, drink it straight; if it's not worth drinking, add ice.
And there are some drinks that just aren't manly drinks, as the title of this post suggests. No mimosas, no cosmopolitans, damn sure no appletinis. But there are some neutral territories, some open questions, and in the interest of educating My Pet Jawa's younger readers who may be embarking on collegiate adventures of their own, we might need to lay down the rules about drinking.
Gentle readers, what are the rules? Please discuss in the comments.
To start, I'll add in the extended entry a list of libations of which both men and women may partake without shame, though the behavior they induce may be shameful, as well as some that are gender-appropriate:
Manly drinks--girls, you'll get a reputation if you order these too often, and the boys will all try to out-drink you which could turn ugly:
These I don't know where to place: Long Island Iced Tea, Hurricane.
(PS I'll be off the blog for a week or so; but Rusty's around and plenty of other guest bloggers so y'all won't even miss me.--See Dub)
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Hm, for me, the Hurricane is definitely fun for the whole family. It deserves a category all its own. Something like "You will forget everything you did after leaving
Pat O'Brien's and how the hell did you walk out of there after drinking four of those anyway?"
Posted by: IO ERROR at August 17, 2005 02:21 AM (HaVXj)
2
Russian cows get new feed: marijuana!!!
What a waste...
msnbc.msn.com/id/8967307/
Posted by: A Finn at August 17, 2005 04:11 AM (cWMi4)
3
Russian cows get new feed: marijuana!!!
What a waste...
msnbc.msn.com/id/8967307/
Posted by: A Finn at August 17, 2005 04:11 AM (cWMi4)
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Hurricanes should only be drunk if you're a tourist in New Orleans. The more of them you drink, the more you'll contribute to our economy when a man with no teeth bets you he can tell you where you got your shoes...
Posted by: Cybrludite at August 17, 2005 04:41 AM (XFoEH)
Posted by: Mike at August 17, 2005 05:00 AM (M7kiy)
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Funny you should bring this up. I was teasing a male friend the other night for drinking Myer's and pineapple. Me? I was drinking Heineken. I guess it was role reversal night.
Posted by: Oyster at August 17, 2005 05:10 AM (YudAC)
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Wild Turkey--John Wayne's bourbon of choice.
Men also shouldn't drink blue drinks, or anything with a tiny umbrella in it.
Posted by: Young Bourbon Professional at August 17, 2005 06:31 AM (x+5JB)
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hhhhmmmm, well in my youth i could drink just about anything but i drank lots of JD, Southern Comfort, Sambuca and Red Death....now, well ive become alchol intolerant, cant touch the hard stuff anymore as i had a really bad experiance that drove me away from the hard stuff so these days if i have something alcoholic its a Samuel Adams beer..anyone of them, they are all good!!!
Posted by: THANOS35 at August 17, 2005 08:57 AM (IJ51c)
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My hard-core drinking days are way behind me; I no longer have any desire to return to the days of straight B&B scotch, Wild Turkey or Jack Daniels (of which I cannot even stomach the smell due to a very bad night with a JD knockoff), so generally its Seagram's Seven (or V.O.) & 7-up for me anymore. In the past, during my poorer days in the military, I would drink Canadian Mist (whiskey) straight.
Of course, being spoiled by two years of German hefe-weissen in Germany, I would rather spend my money on good imported German beer.
Posted by: Fersboo at August 17, 2005 09:13 AM (x0fj6)
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Real men drink Guinness. If you need a kick, drop a shot of Jameson into it.
If you need something less harsh, then Yukon Jack is perfectly acceptable.
Posted by: Leopold Stotch at August 17, 2005 09:37 AM (L1mzz)
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Rusty Nails are great for tailgating at Lambeau Field.
Posted by: Rodney Dill at August 17, 2005 09:53 AM (zNsUC)
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James Bond was a Vodka Martini man, so that's good enough for me, but I do also like good rum, straight and neat, with an ice cold beer chaser, but nothing too heavy, because you don't want to overpower the taste of good rum.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at August 17, 2005 10:15 AM (0yYS2)
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I disagree about the Manhattan. As for gin/vodka and tonic, they should probably only be drunk between Memorial Day and Labor Day--for the quinine you know-to prevent malaria.
Posted by: irish19 at August 17, 2005 11:11 AM (l7ehe)
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What the hell is wrong with you people. I have heard no mention of Tequila yet! As far as quality goes, it must be 1800 or better, my personal favorite being El Tesoro. If you are in college, Jose Cuervo Gold is acceptable, but please graduate to higher quality when you graduate. Shots are the best, but a margarita never hurt anyone. Is that manly enough for you? All you male commenters above should just be ashamed of yourselves....Leave it to a woman, like usual! ;0)
Posted by: lisa at August 17, 2005 11:30 AM (+8Utl)
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Four fingers of a fine single malt scotch, preferably The Glenlivet, in a lead crystal rocks glass. That's the drink of any good Scot.
No rainbow colors, no unbrellas, no flowers.
The sweet bride likes her margaritas, perferably the strawberry ones.
Back in my college days the drink of choice was beer: any beer, cheap beer, beer stolen out of your neighbor's refrigerator, etc.
Posted by: shamalama at August 17, 2005 11:46 AM (TfBxJ)
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Jager and case of Miller.
Posted by: JustPlainJoe at August 17, 2005 12:20 PM (Xj6+u)
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Scotch and Soda is not a man's drink? When was the last time you saw a woman order one? I was a bartender for years and don't remember a single woman ordering that drink.
Posted by: Pepys at August 17, 2005 12:30 PM (cUt2Z)
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Storebought whisky is crap full of pertoleum distillates. Now some fine moonshine that's good stuff. Not you can drink a whole fifth of old no 7 and you'll be walking but you'll be nut's too. A fifth of family elixir and you'll still be sane but you won't be walking or driving anywhere.
Posted by: Howie at August 17, 2005 01:22 PM (D3+20)
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Oh yeah I think two shots after dinner's plenty. stagger stagger crawl crawl. I can't touch old #7 either got really sick one time.
Posted by: Howie at August 17, 2005 01:28 PM (D3+20)
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Howie: Two shots BEFORE dinner are better.
A woman who does shots. Lisa--where were you in college?
Posted by: Young Bourbon Professional at August 17, 2005 01:48 PM (x+5JB)
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Love tequila, and proud of it!
Posted by: Princess Kimberley at August 17, 2005 03:00 PM (8sXP/)
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My dad taught me how to make shine long, long ago. He used to be a bootlegger, so my pedigree is at least as good as the Kennedys', I guess that makes me American royalty! But I digress...
Anyway, I've had shine that was so smooth that when you took a swallow all you felt was a warm glowing sensation that extended to every part of your body, and left you with nothing but a pleasant tingle and a nice, happy buzz. I've also had pure rocket fuel distilled from corn grown in Hell's bottom 40, and it was still good, though somewhat akin to swallowing burning razor blades. Sometimes, you gotta take what you can get, but on average, decent shine is still better than the best whiskey, and a damn sight cheaper, though there is the offhand chance of blindness from time to time.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at August 17, 2005 03:39 PM (0yYS2)
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IM it's all about what you start with. Clean water good corn and pure cane sugar. Also helps if the temp is not too warm. I'm note sure where that wood alcohol comes from that's why I leave it up to the master distiller. And yes there is nothing going down but a warm feeling when you get there. I stick with wine cause any idiot can make wine. The old master goes for about 100 proof first pull always comes back about 140. Blended with the second it's just about right. If too high a bit of water will make it just right. As I understand it's not illegal to make it just to transport or sell.
Posted by: Howie at August 17, 2005 04:06 PM (D3+20)
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Rules. Hic. There are no rules.
Posted by: greyrooster at August 17, 2005 06:00 PM (CBNGy)
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