April 04, 2006

Iran Unveils Seagoing Magic Carpet

Via We report, you deride (stein hoist to LGF):

TEHRAN, Iran — Iran said Tuesday it had tested what it called a "super-modern flying boat" capable of evading radar. State TV showed a brief clip of the boat's launch.

"Due to its advanced design, no radar at sea or in the air can detect it. It can lift out of the water," the television said. It said the boat was "all Iranian-made and can launch missiles with precise targeting while moving."

Lessee, in the past week we've had stealth missiles, super-duper speedy torpedoes (sure, they could have bought some from the Russians, but my guess is they just bought stock footage of the Russians testing one and edited it.), and now this.

I'm almost afraid to guess what might come next. I may rupture something laughing about it.

In the interest of the hard hitting citizen journalism you've come to expect, I have actually obtained an authentic photo of the mullah's new toy:

super boat

For a belly laugh, here's the actual "flying boat"

Posted by: Vinnie at 10:36 PM | Comments (31) | Add Comment
Post contains 182 words, total size 1 kb.

1 All these new weapons systems coming from the Well of the Last Imam are about to overwhelm the World. Oh, woe is me, what shall we do? Ah, I know, ask the Kiwi killer, Sonic(PBUH). He is sure to advocate a capitulation to the magic carpet, the torqued torpedo, and the hide and seek missles. Yeah, that will save us.

Posted by: jesusland joe at April 04, 2006 10:49 PM (rUyw4)

2 Joe, do not offend Sonic (PBUH), the mighty Hedgehog of Doom!

Posted by: Vinnie at April 04, 2006 11:02 PM (/qy9A)

3 In Iraq you are losing to a bunch of guys with AK 47s and IEDs. Just like in South East Asia 30 years ago, no-one really needs super-weapons to beat the US Army.

Posted by: Sonic at April 04, 2006 11:06 PM (Gsn6c)

4 Dammit, I still want to know why that guy's sitting on top of the Flying Doomboat in a lawnchair.

Posted by: The Dread Pundit Bluto at April 04, 2006 11:06 PM (RHG+K)

5 On cue, Sonic to demonstrate his complete ignorance of history and current events. Dude, Vietnam was lost in the halls of Congress. And yeah, we're losing in Iraq, just like Arthur lost to the Black Knight in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Stupid effing kiwi.

Posted by: The Dread Pundit Bluto at April 04, 2006 11:10 PM (RHG+K)

6 In Iraq you are losing to a bunch of guys with AK 47s and IEDs. Ah, asymmetric warfare -- history has shown it can bring any mighty army to it's knee's, with attacks against supply lines, and it's daily kill rate, it's an excepted fact that guerilla warfare is military kryptonite. Well except by people like Sonic, but then he is hypnotized by twinkling lights, and the hologram on his state issued Gyro check.

Posted by: davec at April 04, 2006 11:13 PM (CcXvt)

7 Remindsme of the Germans in WWII who had some wishfull thingking about their "Wunderwaffen". Hey! Sonic! If we shut down media and Kessel Bagdad we have the power to clean it out completly of everything we want. So, dream on!

Posted by: Dan at April 05, 2006 12:41 AM (Z2OsI)

8 Sonic, our GIs never lost a single engagement in Vietnam, nor in Iraq. The only people our military has ever lost to is the public relations war against the Liberal-controlled media.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at April 05, 2006 12:48 AM (8e/V4)

9 One of the things that sucks about Vietnam is that just as we were figuring out how to effectively fight the VC and beat them at their own game Congress said it was time to turn everything over to ARVN, who screwed things up royally. I have trouble being afraid of the airboat. It looks like a kit-built personal seaplane to me. Even if it wasn't supposed to be stealth, that engine on top would still probably have a bigger radar profile than the entire rest of the aircraft. With all these Iranian weapons announcements I sense something like Saddam's 'perfect' GPS jammers that were supposed to stop us from dropping our GPS bombs...which we destroyed with GPS guided bombs

Posted by: Ranba Ral at April 05, 2006 12:55 AM (GyNTD)

10 Iranian old civilization has survived thousands of years in middle east battle ground and will survive for thousands more to come!!! Baby americans should be carefull before any stupid act of aggresion if they dont want to see an early dooms day...

Posted by: jesus at April 05, 2006 02:18 AM (40Soi)

11 The rag heads are playing up their toys for their people. These things are so useless that it's funny. What happens when the lawn chair comes loose, you just switch to the rug. Looks to me like it would make a nice target for a CWIS. Yehaw, go get them. When the JASAMs start arriving, even the camels will run.

Posted by: bill at April 05, 2006 02:39 AM (7evkT)

12 To idiot posing as Jesus, "Iranian old civilization" is dying, pal. Adapt or get out of the way.

Posted by: Oyster at April 05, 2006 05:01 AM (YudAC)

13 >>>and can launch missiles with precise targeting while moving So launching missiles while moving is new and revolutionary? It makes you wonder what they had to do before to before.

Posted by: Graeme at April 05, 2006 05:48 AM (vns1s)

14 Iranian is to civilization as pig is to riding mount. You can actually saddle and ride a pig, but it's not a horse, and you shouldn't call it one.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at April 05, 2006 05:58 AM (0yYS2)

15 If we were really losing in Iraq, then there would be no need for Sonic to keep informing us, would there? And to the guy calling himself Jesus. I'm highly offended, I'm going to torch an embassy now.

Posted by: Vinnie at April 05, 2006 06:02 AM (/qy9A)

16 That thing is slower than a Sopwith Camel. And exactly where does it carry these precision missles?

Posted by: CUS at April 05, 2006 08:09 AM (bbXZq)

17 What the naysayers like Sonic fail to realise is that if the US (and other Western nations) fails in the Middle East, the ramifications will be global. It won't matter if your home is in a non-threatening country whose only claim to fame is an over-population of sheep and mediocre dairy products.

Posted by: Graeme at April 05, 2006 09:26 AM (VOCa6)

18 It's funny how Iran is suddenly claiming to have all sorts of neat weapons that wouldn't make a difference even if they really existed and worked well. We can crush them like a bug regardless, and the sooner the better I say.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at April 05, 2006 10:27 AM (0yYS2)

19 Something about this picture was nagging at the back of my mind and finally surfaced when someone said "kit plane", I remember seeing this as project in Popular Mechanics or something years ago. I need to search the back issues for their torpedo and missile projects.

Posted by: Kyle at April 05, 2006 12:44 PM (h3Jtw)

20 Hah, now that you mention it Kyle, I remember that issue of popular mechanics with the seaplane too.

Posted by: Ranba Ral at April 05, 2006 03:23 PM (GyNTD)

21 Forget about the military effectiveness of these vengence weapons. Pay attention to the mentality of throwing money at these schemes. There are many other projects beyond these. Iran is in a hot-war spending mode. Never forget that. Their war has long been started. It's what's hanging up Baghdad politics. BTW that super-cativating torpedo is designed for a snap shot nuclear warhead. That's why a straight course is quite acceptable. It would be placed at a choke point. Upon command, it would race to target with a weapon so powerful that manuever or counter action is meaningless. Iran is not going to be able to bring it to sea, but she doesn't have to. A sea-skimming profile is in fact very hard to detect. Just because a plane is slow does not mean that it can't penetrate. During the Korean War we had to bring back a prop plane to get rid of a night raiding all-wood BIPLANE that did not ping the radar. Hiding the engines under the wing root creates a VERY stealthy machine. With a little Russian technical assistance, they could have a real 'sleeper'. Pairing up a nuclear, ultra-high speed torpedo with flying boat would create a viable threat to a carrier. Our close in defenses can't stop the torpedo once launched. Catching a blacked out stealth plane riding just above the water is quite a challenge. Even the 'crackpot' German late-war schemes had technical merit. The ME-163 did shoot down our bombers. Given just a little more time to perfect it, it would have been unstoppable. Practically a piloted bullet, it was. You have to be concerned about a fanatic fatalistic cult that so prizes martial suicide. What if the Iranians just start ramming our pilots? Ramming tactics were used in WWII by Japan, Russia and Germany against bombers. Figure F-4 Phantom II's to be a serious threat in this way. Running on after-burners that baby can really go. The mullahs have played their cards very well until now. I have to respect them. We're absolutely NOT dealing with idiot-retards. Nothing is certain in war, especially nuclear war. Let's not get overconfident. They already have the bomb. The questions are: how many and where?

Posted by: blert at April 05, 2006 04:39 PM (MKbty)

22 I hate to see these future contracts for oil climbing, but if we are going to take care of Iran, I hope we do so soon, and do it so well they can not be a problem for twenty years. We have been at war for thirty years with these guys, and the MSM has not reported it. I.M., that first post of yours was great. It was very funny.

Posted by: Leatherneck at April 05, 2006 06:56 PM (D2g/j)

23 Iran's fancy boat is a rip-off of Flarecraft Corp (Westport, CT) vehicle and about as useless... not at all high-tech and certianly not original.

Posted by: Dave at April 05, 2006 07:24 PM (kuem/)

24 You have got used to killing innocent, unarmed civilians with extra sophisticated WMDs but world will see how arrogant american babies will shit in their pants when facing a real fight.

Posted by: jesus at April 06, 2006 05:28 AM (40Soi)

25 Now you may ask yourself, why in the world is Bush planning war against Iran when the war against Iraq is going so badly? The answer is, the Bush folks are so deluded that they think Bush's reelection was a vote not only for the Iraq War but for the neoconservatives who hatched it. And those neoconservatives are in a hurry to accomplish their goals before Bush's four years are up. "This is the last hurrah," , Delusion plus recklessness plus enormous power is going to equal disaster in Iran, even more so than in Iraq.

Posted by: tito at April 06, 2006 06:23 AM (zqsRN)

26 tito, I thought you died a few years ago in Yugoslavia. Well, you left there anyway, and look what a mess you made. Islamists everywhere, chopping off heads, and then the US had to come in there and rescue the sorry bastards. Hell, I knew we were bombing the wrong side all along.

Posted by: jesusland joe at April 06, 2006 09:47 AM (rUyw4)

27 look all you dickheads america has no chance agianst iran. and if they attack it will start a world war 3 witch will start with russians attacking america unexpectedly so don't get your hopes up america isn't that stupid. or are they????

Posted by: Enzo at April 06, 2006 04:43 PM (zqsRN)

28 I am a patriotic person. If the US decides to go to Iran, we will be crippling ourselves. I served in the Armed Forces and am an ex-serviceman. Iran’s national capabilities in the region are up to par with ours. TYhey have the best military force in the region, are modernized, and an educated nation. They possess weapons made to take down our battle ships for which we have no defense. They have an intrnational intellegence and spy network. Military consultants and experts all over the world, including in America and NATO, predict catastrophy for the US military and economy. The world will stop for this war and both the Mid-East and the rest of the world will be destabilized and in up roar. Not only will we be demoralized by the Iranians military capabilities but we will not have enough oil because the Iranian military can close the Persian Gulf. We will lose pace throughout the world and will not have popular support. Bush and the Republicans have already helped spread anti-Americanism world wide. Our interests are facing stronger opposition and resistance worldwide from the Europeans, the Russians, the Chinese, India, Canada, and Latin America. The CIA, the Pentagon, and other dometic and international intelligence agencies have studied different war sceneros and all point to a marginial draw and the destruction of both Israel and the United States’ superpower status. Iran is no where near Iraq and Afganistan and we can not just walk in. The have surface to air missiles, anti-aircract missiles, sub-marines, ballisitic missiles, and high tech nuclear technology and know how. If we go to war we will have to re-institute the national draft, just like Vietnam, except the fact that more Americans will die and we will be fighting a multi-theatered battle with an enemy that has the capabilities to damage us at home. For who ever reads this. Listen to me, “War with Iran spells doom for eveyone.”

Posted by: Robert Fraser at April 06, 2006 05:05 PM (zqsRN)

29 So what's your suggestion, Robert the Iranian posing as an American, just surrender to the bastards. And who says to invade Iran? We don't need to invade Iran to snuff out its nuclear capability. I would in no way favor an invasion of Iran along the lines of Iraq. There is no reason for an invasion of Iran. We just want to knock out their nuclear capability. Do you understand now, you master of disinformation posing as an American? You know Iran's ass is grass, that's why you posted that stupid disinformation. Go stick your head in a commode, you idiot.

Posted by: jesusland joe at April 06, 2006 07:03 PM (rUyw4)

30 Bring it on; all the US does is bitch. Iran has repeatedly said, "BRNG IT ON" and all the US does is bitch about this and that. The fact of the matter is the US is bogged down in Iraq and has only been able to operate and facilitate it's "military operations" against these "Insurgents" (US and British employed mercenaries imported from north Africa) with the grace of Iran and its expansive Shia population in the greater Mid-East. If the US could have taken down Iran as these retards claim then it would have, why prounce around and beat around the bush? The fact of the matter is that the US will never attack Iran and or Invade it in any way. You got nukes, we got nukes, and Russia and China are our natural allies. The only way you can advance your cause in the region (ME) is through Iranian good graces. Best, The Persian

Posted by: Persian Beast at April 13, 2006 06:57 AM (UDfDn)

31 Persian : Yeah except we have enough nukes to level your entire nation and can get em there you have none or maybe a few can would be lucky to get one over the horizon. Good luck with that Iran is not in a postion to be MAD just OAD ur assured destruction.

Posted by: Howie at April 13, 2006 07:38 AM (D3+20)

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