Kuwait hates Israel in general and Jews in particular, but hasn't sent them to die in gas chambers.
Germany hates Israel in general and Jews in particular, but has.
Advantage Kuwait.
Kuwait is grateful to the U.S. for being liberated from a tyrant.
Germany isn't.
Advantage Kuwait.
Kuwait treats Palestinians as second-class citizens in Kuwait.
Germany treats Palestinians as second-class citizens by supporting them, in "Palestine."
Advantage even.
Kuwait executes terrorists who kill U.S. service members.
Germany releases them after 25 years of a "life" sentence.
Advantage Kuwait.
Trust me, having Kuwait as a staunch ally isn't all that attractive in the grand scheme of things. But, at this juncture in history, I'd take Kuwait.
Feel free to make your own list, pro or con.
1
Yeah I'm with Kuwait. I hate to say it, because I don't want an old European culture to disappear, but the Germans will be extinct soon as a culture, and at this rate, they deserve it. Maybe the muslims that replace them won't be as big a pain in the ass.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at December 28, 2005 12:01 AM (0yYS2)
2
Agent Smith declares that the best ally is the Architect!
Posted by: Agent Smith at December 28, 2005 02:03 AM (Gy73I)
3
I look at it this way. Which one would you feel safer visiting? I feel sorry for many of the west Germans. A lot of the east Germans that were liberated when the wall came down were completely indoctrinated into the communist culture and want their nanny state back. You'll find more pro-America allies in Berlin though than you'll find in Berkeley.
Posted by: Oyster at December 28, 2005 04:49 AM (YudAC)
4
German women are better looking but tend to treat sex as a sport - flash scorecards after sex are a bit disconcerning.
As far as I know - Kuwaiti men keep score.
German beers & wine are some of the best in the world. Kuwaiti goat milk is highly rated - but I wouldn't know myself.
German & Kuwaiti hip-hop are equally Bad - as in horrible, terrible etc.
German women have a seasonal adversion to razors. I have absolutely no idea about Kuwaiti women.
Germans make excellent cars - Kuwaiti's make horrible drivers.
Kuwaiti camels are better behaved and run faster than German camels - but German camels (if there are any) are better trained (they train everything!) and would be allowed in restaurants.
Germans are passive non-agressive peaceful people - with mood swings that include global domination, war and genocide. Kuwaiti's occasionally talk fondly of islamic global domination, holy war, and genocide - but then go shopping.
more to follow - maybe
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 09:28 AM (3aakz)
5
Germans make excellent car mechanics - Kuwaiti's never pop the hood - that's way Allah created Palestinians.
Germans and Kuwaiti's both have an odd relationship with Jews. It fluctuates with their mood swings. Modern Jewish Doctor says both take two asparin and reminds them both (quietly) he has several hundred nuclear enemas in his black bag.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 09:47 AM (3aakz)
6
Six get death and no 15 years od stupid appeals to spare them
Posted by: sandpiper at December 28, 2005 09:48 AM (6rkkO)
7
German military students are attentive, well-behaved, and follow instructions. Kuwaiti military students want to know where they can park their cars and what time the PX opens for shopping.
(this is firsthand experience & true)
Germans are lousy tippers - Kuwaiti's tip everyone - everywhere. (ex: "This is an Iraqi landmine! These are tripwires! Don't touch it! Call me! ... what's this? $50.00? A tip?")
Germans are arrogant and full of themselves - Kuwaiti's are arrogant and full of themselves - both believe Americans are arrogant and full of themselves - all three quietly agree - French are pussies. British concur on all.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 10:05 AM (3aakz)
8
Germans build things (albeit slowly) - Kuwaiti's buy things very fast.
German are frugal - Kuwaiti's think frugal is either a car or ice cream - they will buy it when they figure it out.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 10:10 AM (3aakz)
9
Germans are obsessed with punctuality and things on time - Kuwaiti's buy 20 watches because they look pretty.
Germans get melancholy about songs about forrests that belong to them - Kuwaiti's don't know what a forrest is - but when they find out - they will pay others to build one for them.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 10:20 AM (3aakz)
10
Germans love pork! - Kuwaiti's hate pork! Jews historically got porked! Jewish Doctor found solution to porking problem and keeps it in his blackbag.
Global search still on for new #1 porkee - 60 yr UN debate - #1 nominee - Palestinians - they even pork each other.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 10:31 AM (3aakz)
11
This is all a Christmas present to all - if I can make ya laugh - great!
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 10:38 AM (3aakz)
12
hondo, that may be some of the funniest stuff I've read in the b'sphere in a long time.
What I've read about the different countries in the region, my guess is that, after Baharain, Kuwait would have one of the easier transitions to democracy.
Posted by: KG at December 28, 2005 10:40 AM (eRMCR)
13
Germans make boring pretentious films and praise their culture - Kuwaiti's invest in boring pretentious film companies and praise their culture. - Both have massive collections of American films (VHS/DVD) in their livingrooms.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 10:44 AM (3aakz)
14
KG! DDON'T GET SERIOUS ON ME NOW!
ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS!
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 10:46 AM (3aakz)
15
Never say "how high does your grass grow?" to a German - say it to a Kuwaiti and you will get a blank stare.
Dr Strangelove was a foreigner - but definitely not a Kuwaiti.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 10:51 AM (3aakz)
16
Back to sex - the aftermath!
German woman - "Is that it? Is that all there is ... to life?"
Kuwaiti man - "That's one orgasm for me ... I'll be back later - I have to check on those Palestinians gardeners!"
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 10:55 AM (3aakz)
17
Kuwait cooperates with us. Germany loudly proclaims its cooperation with us while actively working to impede us at every turn.
Posted by: Steven Den Beste at December 28, 2005 10:59 AM (CJBEv)
18
Agent Smith
I'm going to copywrite all this - so watch out!
New Accelerator and RAM upgrade are pumpin' out! Time for you to get an upgrade.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 11:00 AM (3aakz)
19
Many Germans are sexually "progressive" and view sex as both a spectator and group sport - Kuwaiti's ARE SHOCKED! SHOCKED I TELL YA! - and buy all the latest German sport videos.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 11:04 AM (3aakz)
20
Germans and Kuwaitis agree - French women are easy - though both use different pricing schemes.
Germans however are frugal - Kuwaitis now believe frugal is a sexual position - and have brought every copy of the Karma Sutra in a desperate search for it.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 11:13 AM (3aakz)
21
Tell a German to "fuck off" he gets angry and goes to his attic for that chest filled with the old uniforms and flags.
Tell a Kuwaiti to "fuck off" - he smiles and thinks about his last vacation trip to France.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 11:19 AM (3aakz)
22
Screw Germany and screw the Germans. They have been a steadfast enemy for one hundred years and deserve to be exterminated along with their new muslim allies. I say we need to invade Europe again and kill everyone up to the Eastern edge of Germany. When the next big war starts, it will once again be Europe against America, only this time it will be muslim fascists calling the shots. We should kill them all.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at December 28, 2005 11:22 AM (0yYS2)
23
Maxie
Sentiments shared (a bit nervously & with some reservations) - but you gotta work on that punchline! - "We should kill them all" just doesn't seem to get a laugh - outside a Capital One commercial.
What in you wallet - kill them all - see what I mean.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 11:30 AM (3aakz)
24
Talk ecomonics with a German and he will discuss "investing in infrastructure and retooling" - Kuwaiti businessman listening in thinks the German's talking about getting some French whores and a sexual implant.... He agrees.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 11:35 AM (3aakz)
25
I'm on vacation obviously.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 11:38 AM (3aakz)
26
On time Kuwaitis thought oil was just a junky black liquid that seeped out of the ground - sold it for less than 10 bucks a barrel.
No one knows who told them the truth - Germans, French, Brits, US ???? - whatever
Greg think it was those ... Jews ... again.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 11:56 AM (3aakz)
27
I'm not looking for laughs, we should exterminate half of Europe and the entire ME, along with half of America, most of Canada, and what the hell, all of Central and South America. A good nuclear holocaust is what this planet needs.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at December 28, 2005 01:27 PM (0yYS2)
28
MAXIE! NOW THAT'S FUNNY!!!!
No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens ....
EVERYBODY! VINNIE, HOWIE, RUSTY, BLUTO, OYSTER, JJ, JC, GRAEME .... SING ALONG!
(actually sang this with some friends - in a German Bar - at the height of the Pershing II deployment - it was .... very interesting - cost me a front tooth - but it was worth it!)
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 01:45 PM (3aakz)
29
Back on topic
A German and a Kuwaiti shoot an arrow in the air -
It falls to earth they know not where
An Israeli shoots an Arrow in the air -
He knows exactly where its going!
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 01:54 PM (3aakz)
30
Agent Smith
You can't touch this ...
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 02:00 PM (3aakz)
31
lil' ernie
You can't find it ...
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 02:02 PM (3aakz)
32
greg
You don't have a clue what I'm talking about ...
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 02:04 PM (3aakz)
33
An American tells a German "it ain't over till the fat lady sings" - the German thinks your praising Wagner's work
A Kuwaiti thinks it is a German sexual fetish with BBW - and is interested in buying the video (for his private collection of course).
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 02:15 PM (3aakz)
34
Agent Smith
You can't touch this ...
(Yes! Its all original and rapidfire!)
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 02:19 PM (3aakz)
35
There are no Kuwaiti comedians! It is a crime in the Koran! - somewhere - if you hold it up to the light and look at it sideways - page 235 I think.
There are approximately 100 million German comedians - but none of them are funny.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 02:22 PM (3aakz)
36
My daughter says stop! Your killing me Dad!(figuratively - were are not muslims)
So, I shall take my leave - and defrost some Omaha Christmas steaks.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 02:34 PM (3aakz)
37
My daughter says stop! Your killing me Dad!(figuratively - we are not muslims)
So, I shall take my leave - and defrost some Omaha Christmas steaks.
(We are however rumored to be - somewhat Teutonic - especially her on her Momma's Patagonian side)
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 02:44 PM (3aakz)
38
Sorry - we are fighting over computer time.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 02:46 PM (3aakz)
39
brief return -
A Kuwaiti's vision of paradise is 72 blond German virgins - sadly - there is no such thing past the 8th grade.
A German's vision of paradise is ... I dunno ... but if they start to get wistful, begin singing in melancholy fashion JAAAA JA, JAAAAA JA ... and get that Klaus Kinski look in their eyes ......... MAXIE! NUKE'M - NUKE'M TILL THEY GLOW IN THE DARK! DON'T HESITATE! ... Ich kenne diese Leute!!!!
The only paradise hondo knew was by the dashboard light ... my daughter (Nova) hates that song!
She's back! - gotta go check them steaks.
Posted by: hondo at December 28, 2005 05:19 PM (3aakz)
40
Have the sadam trial in kuwait and hang him and ramsey clark
Posted by: sandpiper at December 29, 2005 09:51 AM (qMAo+)
41
Agent Smith says Queue-wait is an anomaly created by the ever-resourceful Limeys to keep Eye-wrack bottled up.
Agent Jones says the Limey's bottling experiment developed backed-up pressure and Eye-wrack started to distend.
Agent Brown says that some monkey pulled the cork out of Eye-wrack and it burst forth all over Queue-wait.
Posted by: Agent Smith at December 31, 2005 02:07 AM (HuVhz)
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