And let me just say, if you're on trial for your life, wear a dadgum tie. This is not Leno. Make it look like you're trying even if you're counting on the rocket attacks and assassinations of your lawyers to save you.
First caption: Saddam: "The Americans are even now dropping more chemical weapons from their stealth bombers!"
Barzan Ibrahim al-Tikriti: "Ain't nothin stealth about where that bomber came from! Whooooee--lay offa them Doritos, cuz!"
1
Agent Smith says that Former President of the Republic of Iraq, Saddam Husayn al-Tikriti is practicing for his new role as a floor trader at the Chicago Mercantile Exchange.
Agent Brown heard Husayn yell, "Buy 100,000 Pork Bellies at 27 1/3!!"
Agent Jones says the kaffiyeh-wearing defendant behind him yelled, "I'm selling, you nimwit!!!"
Posted by: Agent Smith at December 05, 2005 06:46 AM (qLtuI)
2
"The ceiling needs paint."
"And the floor is dirty."
Posted by: Jane at December 05, 2005 07:08 AM (6krEN)
3
"This is not the shade of Just For Men I requested!"
"Yes, what are you trying to do? Make the Great Saddam look like Wilmer Valderama?"
As for not wearing a tie, apparently he's not allowed to for security reasons.
Posted by: Graeme at December 05, 2005 07:26 AM (vwDwF)
4
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Hey hey
(Oh, thank you, thank, thank you. I shall put this to good abuse.)
Posted by: V the K at December 05, 2005 07:53 AM (q/kmn)
5
Saddam:
"You call this a trial? in my day I'd have had me sodomized, burnt, beaten and put through a plastic shredder by now?"
al-Tikriti:
"Hey, Hey, Hey, This man don't represent me, yo' honor"
Posted by: dave at December 05, 2005 08:00 AM (CcXvt)
6
Saddam:
"I demand an investigation into my disenfranchisement! Does this finger look purple to you? No? I didn't THINK so!"
Barzan:
"It's not fair! I don't even HAVE a finger!"
Posted by: Oyster at December 05, 2005 08:03 AM (fl6E1)
7
"I object you infidels!!! I did not have sexual relations with Cindy Sheeham!"
Posted by: thirdee at December 05, 2005 08:24 AM (kBsuN)
8
Barazan Ibrahim: "What you gonÂ’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk?"
Saddam: "IÂ’ma get, get, get, get you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump."
Posted by: IreneFingIrene at December 05, 2005 08:25 AM (p7NnG)
9
Reverend Hussein: "Thou shalt KILL THE INFIDELS!" KILL THE INFIDELS IN THE NAME OF ALLAH!"
Ibrahim: "Amen Reverend Hussein! You helpin' us now!"
Posted by: thirdee at December 05, 2005 08:39 AM (kBsuN)
10
"I call for 'Breasts not bombs' you infidels", demands Saddam. Barzan replies, "No, No, No, your honor, we are not to be tortured!
Posted by: jihadibane at December 05, 2005 08:45 AM (rUyw4)
11
Where is Matlock? I demand Matlock.
Posted by: Howie at December 05, 2005 08:45 AM (D3+20)
12
Haha, dave's is awesome!
Posted by: Venom at December 05, 2005 09:08 AM (dbxVM)
13
Jiggy ladies' man Saddam strikes a disco-pose a la Saturday Night Fever.
Posted by: Feisty at December 05, 2005 09:35 AM (r2ndd)
14
"I'm not going to pay a lot for this muffler!"
Posted by: ericj at December 05, 2005 09:50 AM (hrQvk)
15
1) And I... I will always love you.... - Saddam and his backup singers prepare for their touring edition of the newly formed band: Genocidal Meshugenas
2) But you can't hold my Ba'athists responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole international system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, judge - isn't this an indictment of our entire internationalist system? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth me. Gentlemen!
[Leads the Ba'athists out of the hearing, all humming I will always love you]
Posted by: lawhawk at December 05, 2005 10:26 AM (eppTH)
16
Real World Baghdad - Bored senseless during their long hours of incarceration, Saddam and his brother re-enact the infamous peanut butter scene.
Posted by: IreneFingIrene at December 05, 2005 10:28 AM (p7NnG)
17
"I'm Saddam Hussein and I am
reporting for duty!"
Posted by: V the K at December 05, 2005 10:39 AM (wEYaf)
18
Saddam: And if elected, I will -
al-Tikriti: Shut up! You want them to take us seriously, don't you?
Posted by: Venom at December 05, 2005 10:42 AM (dbxVM)
19
You put your right hand in.
You take your right hand out.
You throw them in head first and the shredder ....
Hey! That doesn't even rhyme!
Posted by: Jeff Medcalf at December 05, 2005 11:00 AM (eer2X)
20
This is TOO much fun, adversely affects my prodcuctivity...
#1 - Saddam: "I did not have sex with that camel!"
Crony: "Yes, very much, he did not have sex with that camel!"
#2 - Saddam: "I'm not going to pay a lot for this muffler!"
#3 - Saddam: "Who let the dogs out?!"
#4 - Saddam: "Tastes Great!"
Crony: "Less Filling!"
Posted by: Dr. Zubov at December 05, 2005 11:12 AM (Whkiq)
21
This is TOO much fun, adversely affects my productivity...
#1 - Saddam: "I did not have sex with that camel!"
Crony: "Yes, very much, he did not have sex with that camel!"
#2 - Saddam: "I'm not going to pay a lot for this muffler!"
#3 - Saddam: "Who let the dogs out?!"
#4 - Saddam: "Tastes Great!"
Crony: "Less Filling!"
Posted by: Dr. Zubov at December 05, 2005 11:12 AM (Whkiq)
22
I want a #4 with fried rice! If I get white rice again I will so declare a jihad on your ass.
Posted by: The Man at December 05, 2005 11:14 AM (EDlAL)
23
Hussein: "That trick with the cashews... it really does work!"
Man in back : "Ohhhh!!! Grossss!"
Posted by: IreneFingIrene at December 05, 2005 11:20 AM (p7NnG)
24
"I demand a recount! Al Gore won! John Kerry won! BUSH LIED PEOPLE DIED!!! NO WAR FOR OIL!!! WHAT WMD's?!?!?! FREE MUMIA!!!
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at December 05, 2005 11:23 AM (0yYS2)
25
"Did you feel like Jesus?
Did you realize,
You are still an outlaw
in their eyes?
Get it on,
Get it on,
Kid Charlemagne,
Get it on, Kid Charlemagne"
Posted by: MCPO Airdale at December 05, 2005 11:25 AM (WOQ34)
26
Free Tookie! also.
IM, you're on a roll. Lol!
Posted by: jesusland joe at December 05, 2005 11:25 AM (rUyw4)
27
"Look how tall my brother is!"
"Look how tall I am!"
Posted by: John at December 05, 2005 01:00 PM (wg4FW)
28
See-Dubya,
I am sooo sorry about that. I guess this means I need a news reader, eh?
My bad.
Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge
Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at December 05, 2005 01:15 PM (y1hCN)
29
You spin me right round baby...
Posted by: Jester at December 05, 2005 01:17 PM (wBDaS)
30
Here's mine. http://ipsofactocomic.blogspot.com/2005/12/and-saddam-for-all.html
Posted by: Mike at December 05, 2005 01:37 PM (1WPwQ)
31
Dave--How could you see this photo and not have a caption contest?
Put 'em up over at Dave's too.
Posted by: See-Dubya at December 05, 2005 01:45 PM (1EyVw)
32
"I ORDERED THE CHICKEN WITH MANGO SAUCE!
And I distinctly said I hated "curry" not "Kurds"! My order that day was mis-interpreted!"
Posted by: hondo at December 05, 2005 02:17 PM (3aakz)
33
Saddam: ...I therefore DEMAND that I be allowed to eat the last Mallomar at lunchtime! It is my RIGHT as Dictator for life and Maximum Leader of the Iraqi Peoples!
Barzan: Yeah! What HE said!
Posted by: mojo at December 05, 2005 04:13 PM (/lPia)
34
"If I... were the King... of the forresssssssttt..."
Posted by: odrady at December 05, 2005 04:41 PM (FPlB1)
35
Wonder why he hasn't mentioned his retarded sons? Probably hated them as much as we did.
Posted by: greyrooster at December 05, 2005 05:57 PM (9Dlss)
36
I curse your moustache and fart on your beard and if I had shoes I would throw them at you, you son of a sharmouta
Posted by: Malikrik at December 06, 2005 12:17 AM (Jnkv/)
37
"I am Napoleon!!"
"No, Fuck you, I'm Napoleon!!"
Posted by: Agent Smith at December 06, 2005 05:58 AM (VX7Tm)
38
Speaker: "Iran has become a real threat to the world. We are looking for help. If anyone here has any prior experience in blowing up Iran, please raise your hand."
Posted by: Steve Sharon at December 06, 2005 11:46 AM (utZzN)
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