1 Wrong. Funny, but wrong. Sick and wrong. Sickeningly funny, but sick and wrong. Sick and wrong and funny on so many levels. I can't stop laughing. Is that wrong?

2 "She was alerted to the crime by the sound of squealing, which apparently emanated from the pig." Apparently? Also, I don't think the technical term is pig fornicator.

3 If it was the perp squealing, I don't wanna hear it.

4 It's no fun if you can't get them to squeal.

5 بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمـَنِ الرَّحِيمِ الْحَمْدُ للّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ الرَّحْمـنِ الرَّحِيمِ مَـالِكِ يَوْمِ الدِّينِ ِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ اهدِنَــــا الصِّرَاطَ المُستَقِيم صِرَاطَ الَّذِينَ أَنعَمتَ عَلَيهِمْ غَيرِ المَغضُوبِ عَلَيهِمْ وَلاَ الضَّالِّينَ In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. [1] Ta-ha. [2] We have not sent down the Qur-an to thee to be (an occasion) for thy distress, [3] But only as an admonition to those who fear (Allah), [4] A revelation from Him Who created the earth and the heavens on high. [5] (Allah) Most Gracious is firmly established on the throne (of authority). [6] To Him belongs what is in the heavens and on earth, and all between them, and all beneath the soil. [7] If thou pronounce the word aloud, (it is no matter); For verily He knoweth what is secret and what is yet more hidden . ] If thou pronounce the word aloud, (it is no matter); For verily He knoweth what is secret and what is yet more hidden. [8] Allah! there is no god but He! To Him belong the Most Beautiful Names In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 163] And your God is One God: there is no god but He, Most Gracious, Most Merciful . In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 21] O ye people! Adore your Guardian-Lord, Who created you and those who came before you, that ye may have the chance to learn righteousness; [22] Who has made the earth your couch, and the heavens your canopy; and sent down rain from the heavens; and brought forth therewith fruits for your sustenance; then set not up rivals unto Allah when ye know (the truth). In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 33] Say: The things that my Lord hath indeed forbidden are: shameful deeds, whether open or secret; sins and trespasses against truth or reason; assigning of partners to Allah, for which He hath given no authority; and saying things about Allah of which ye have no knowledge. In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. [74] Verily he who comes to his Lord as a sinner (at Judgment), for him is Hell: therein shall he neither die nor live. [75] But such as come to Him as Believers who have worked righteous deeds, for them are ranks exalted, [76] Gardens of Eternity, beneath which flow rivers: they will dwell therein for aye: such is the reward of those who purify themselves (from evil). In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 110] If anyone does evil or wrongs his own soul but afterwards seeks Allah's forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [111] And if anyone earns sin, he earns it against his own soul: for Allah is Full of Knowledge and Wisdom. [112] But if any one earns a fault or a sin and throws it on to one that is innocent, he carries (on himself) (both) a falsehood and a flagrant sin. In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful [53] Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful 54] "Turn ye to your Lord (in repentance) and bow to His (Will), before the Penalty comes on you: after that ye shall not be helped. [55] "And follow the Best of (the courses) revealed to you from your Lord, before the Penalty comes on you - of a sudden while ye perceive not! - [56] "Lest the soul should (then) say: `Ah! woe is me! in that I neglected (my Duty) towards Allah, and was but among those who mocked!' [57] "Or (lest) it should say: 'If only Allah had guided me, I should certainly have been among the righteous! 58] "Or (lest) it should say when it (actually) sees the Penalty: 'If only I had another chance, I should certainly be among those who do good!' [59] "(The reply will be 'Nay, but there came to thee My Signs, and thou didst reject them: thou wast haughty, and became one of those who reject Faith!'" [60] On the Day of Judgment wilt thou see those who told lies against Allah; their faces will be turned black; is there not in Hell an abode for the Haughty? [61] But Allah will deliver the righteous to their place of salvation: no evil shall touch them, nor shall they grieve. In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 133] Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous. 134] Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; for Allah loves those who do good. [135] And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring Allah to mind, and ask for forgiveness for their sins; and who can forgive sins except Allah? And are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done. 136] For such the reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens with rivers flowing underneath; an eternal dwelling: how excellent a recompense for those who work (and strive)! In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. [190] Behold! in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of Night and Day, there are indeed Signs for men of understanding. [191] Men who celebrate the praises of Allah, standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and contemplate the (wonders of) creation in the heavens and the earth, (with the thought): "Our Lord! not for naught hast thou created (all) this! Glory to Thee! Give us salvation from the Penalty of the Fire [192] "Our Lord! any whom Thou dost admit to the Fire, truly Thou coverest with shame, and never will wrong-doers find any helpers! [193] "Our Lord! we have heard the call of one calling (us) to Faith, `Believe ye in the Lord', and we have believed. Our Lord! forgive us our sins, blot out from us our iniquities, and take to Thyself our souls in the company of the righteous. 194] "Our Lord! Grant us what Thou didst promise unto us through Thy Messengers, and save us from shame on the Day of Judgment; for Thou never breakest Thy promise." [195] And their Lord hath accepted of them, and answered them: "Never will I suffer to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female: ye are members, In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 7] Those who sustain the Throne (of Allah) and those around it sing Glory and Praise to their Lord; believe in Him; and implore forgiveness for those who believe: "Our Lord! Thy Reach is over all things, in Mercy and Knowledge. Forgive, then, those who turn in Repentance, and follow thy Path; and preserve them from the Penalty of the Blazing Fire! [8] "And grant, our Lord! that they enter the Gardens of Eternity, which Thou hast promised to them, and to the righteous among their fathers, their wives, and their posterity! for Thou art (He), the Exalted in Might, Full of Wisdom. [9] "And preserve them from (all) ills; and any whom Thou dost preserve from ills that Day, on them wilt Thou have bestowed Mercy indeed: and that will be truly (for them) the highest Achievement." http://quran.al-islam.com/Index/indexe1.asp http://www.al-sunnah.com