May 22, 2005

Which Numbers Matter? The NCTC Report Revisited, Recoded and Reanalyzed

By Demosophist

At Rusty's suggestion I'm moving this reanalysis of the Terrorism Chronology back to the start, for another run through the gauntlet. What I'd like to make clear is that I disagree that there's any implication in the numbers that we're losing, or losing ground, in the fight against Totalitarianism 3.x. In fact, we're confounding them at every turn, which is one reason they're becoming more vicious. In addition, they're raising the number of attacks in certain places, such as Kashmir, at the expense of "quality." Anyway, here's the original post, from last week:

Marc Danziger (by way of reader T.M. Lutas) recently emailed an Excel file containing the narratives from the report released by the National Counterterrorism Center entitled A Chronology of Significant International Terrorism for 2004, describing the 651 terrorist attacks it identified.  (Although there has been a debate with Larry Johnson over the significance of these numbers I've no argument with the idea that we ought to be concerned.  After all, I'm concerned or I wouldn't be posting this re-analysis. However, I object to the notion that these numbers are some sort of signal that we're not winning the war.)  At any rate, I've been mulling over these data since Marc dropped them to me about two weeks ago, doing a lot of what data geeks do with this sort of delicacy, and thought I'd post a little of what I've found. 

First of all, Marc's post on Winds of Change describes his preliminary findings, according to which it's clear that two countries, India and Iraq, account for over 3/4ths of the terrorist attacks that took place in 2004. (If all attacks listed in the report are included these two countries account for 76.2%).  After looking more carefully at the narratives in the glossy report the first thing that one finds is that there are about 70 events on the list of terrorist attacks that may not belong.  That's because the target of those attacks was clearly military, rather than civilian.  These amount to about 11% of the total number of attacks listed, and more than 80% of these (57 of 70) occurred in Kashmir.

Now, it's true that the folks who did these dirty deeds probably were not very concerned about "collateral damage" to civilians, so I don't have reservations about including them, provided some civilians were either wounded or killed, but in 36 of the 70 cases where the objective was clearly military there were no civilian casualties at all.  I'm not sure why these events even appear in a terrorist attack database, but their inclusion tends to put more emphasis on terrorist activity in the troubled Indian state than might otherwise be the case.  This is not so much because the events were included for Kashmir, but more because similar events were not generally included elsewhere.  But whatever the justification, as one deletes some of these questionable "terrorist" attacks from consideration the percentage of attacks in Iraq rises from roughly 31% to 34% while those in India/Kashmir fall from about 45% down to 41%.  So, while the proportion of "terrorist" attacks rises for Iraq and falls for India after you do a bit of circumspective culling, those two nations still account for approximately 3/4ths of all terrorist attacks in the world.  That fact doesn't change.  And in sheer frequency of attacks, India/Kashmir is still more active than Iraq, or anywhere else.  But that's not the whole story, by a long shot.

Dimensions of Evil

Another dimension that hasn't been touched upon in the blogosphere or elsewhere in any rigorous way is the lethality of the attacks, by country.  And here Iraq is clearly in the lead.  Moreover, India and Iraq account for "only" slightly over half the terrorist-related deaths in the world, while Russia rather than India, is second in gross lethality.  Moreover, four nations--Iraq, Russia, India and Spain--account for 85% of the terrorist-caused deaths in the world.  Here's a brief table that ranks the most to least deadly:

Country Deaths Percent
Iraq 552 30.41
Russia 436 24.02
India 364 20.06
Spain 191 10.52
Israel 60 3.31
Afghanistan 47 2.59
Saudi Arabia 46 2.53
Egypt 36 1.98
Palestine 23 1.27
Indonesia 10 0.55
Angola 9 0.50
Sudan 9 0.50
Pakistan 4 0.22
Thailand 4 0.22
Uzbekistan 4 0.22
Bangladesh 3 0.17
Philippines 3 0.17
Venezuela 3 0.17
Serbia 2 0.11
Sri Lanka 2 0.11
Turkey 2 0.11
Argentina 1 0.06
Congo 1 0.06
Nepal 1 0.06
Somalia 1 0.06
Ukraine 1 0.06
Total 1815 100.00

[No military deaths are counted in this ranking, although it does count police, counterterrorism personnel and officials, as well as paramilitary forces.  I identified a total of 95 military deaths that were included in the report, though I'm not sure what rationale was used.  80 of the 95, which were excluded from the tally above, occurred in Kashmir.  I can understand why one might use a different yardstick there, but to be strictly comparable to terrorism elsewhere these probably ought to be omitted from the tally.]

As mentioned previously India is third in lethality, after Iraq and Russia.  Furthermore, there are 13 lucky countries that had significant terrorist events according to the report, but suffered no civilian deaths. These countries don't appear on the table above, at all.

If we count both dead and wounded, which some would argue is reasonable (even though the over 1,000 injured in the first World Trade Center attack in 1993 elicited little more than a large collective yawn from both the citizenry and their political representatives) Spain moves to the top of the list!

Country Casualties Percent
Spain 2095 25.72
India 1708 20.97
Iraq 1550 19.03
Russia 1387 17.03
Israel 380 4.67
Saudi Arabia 248 3.04
Indonesia 192 2.36
Palestine 113 1.39
Afghanistan 104 1.28
Bangladesh 103 1.26
Thailand 52 0.64
Egypt 48 0.59
Pakistan 26 0.32
Turkey 22 0.27
Sri Lanka 21 0.26
Angola 19 0.23
Sudan 19 0.23
Ukraine 14 0.17
France 10 0.12
Venezuela 6 0.07
Serbia 5 0.06
Congo 4 0.05
Uzbekistan 4 0.05
Bolivia 3 0.04
Philippines 3 0.04
Argentina 2 0.02
Germany 2 0.02
Malaysia 2 0.02
Somalia 2 0.02
Nepal 1 0.01
Total 8145 100.00

[Again, these are civilian casualties only.  The tally doesn't include 166 military wounded or 95 killed, the vast majority of whom were in Kashmir.]

The same four countries still account for 83% of terrorist activity in the world.  However, counting injured as equivalent to those who lost their lives obviously distorts the picture, and Spain moves to the top of the list only because of the March 11 Madrid attack, which killed 191 and injured almost 2,000.  There was only one other terrorist attack recorded for Spain in the report, perpetrated by the Basque Separatist ETA, which killed or injured no one.  Moreover, 9 countries that appear in the report were lucky enough to have had no civilian casualties at all!


The Quality of the Enemy

So, counting injured in this way leaves something to be desired in terms of method, and we need a better metric for "terrorist activity." This was the real reason I embarked on the current project to reassess the NCTC Report.  Raphael Perl, at the Congressional Research Service, and others emphasize the need for some sort of measure that guages the "quality" of terrorist attacks.  Although Perl stresses the importance of public opinion, I maintain that it's hard to distinguish between public opinion created by media bias and that attributable to the terrorists deft manipulation.  Clearly the media is a critical dimension in the war, but the proper way to account for it isn't necessarily to treat it as a reflection of enemy quality. 

I have to assume that a public well-informed about the nature and risks involved would be able to resist media manipulation, whether engineered by a crafty enemy or by a pliant media.  So until I can figure out how to assess that dimension better I've decided that the best approach is to concentrate on the quality of the information and analysis that I present, thereby diminishing the vulnerability of the public as much as possible.  Public opinion would then better reflect real conditions, and would begin to approximate the "wisdom of the people" that presents the toughest possible obstacle to an enemy, even one presenting in the guise of a friend.

There isn't a lot of information contained in the short descriptions in the NCTC Report that would enable an extensive assessment of quality, but I figured that even a crude measure might provide better insight than any of the quantity measures alone.  Although the scale I came up with for quality is pretty crude and limited, I think it's at least useful. 

The quality measure is composed of two elements that are summed and that are then multiplied by casualties to produce an overall number that's a composite of both quality and quantity.  I call this composite "gain," both for the sake of simplicity and because I'm just not very imaginative.  The two elements of quality I've used are "Success/Failure" and "Skill/Coordination."  The judgments for making the determination of success/failure are simply based on whether, and how well, the objectives of the attack seem to have been achieved.  Obviously I had to make some assumptions about the objectives to assign a score to this element, but those assumptions seem reasonable. An armed attack on a police barracks that results in no deaths and few injuries, except for the attackers, has to be viewed as an attempt that did not meet its objective.  The assessment of success/failure ranges from -1 to 2, where a negative score indicates that an attack was conducted that was either foiled outright, or that resulted in significant negative consequences for the perpetrators (such as an attack that was carried out with no casualties where all the perpetrators were immediately killed or captured).  In other words the attack backfired, in a big way.  There weren't many of these events, unfortunately (only 7, or 1%), so they don't account for any large swings in quality.  The distribution was: -1(1%), 0(9%), 1(26%), 2(64%).  Unfortunately, almost 2/3rds of the attacks were very successful.

The second element of quality is the "Skill/Coordination" aspired to by the terrorists.  This is basically a measure of whether multiple attacks were coordinated, or whether an individual attack was planned to be concurrent with political events so as to influence outcomes.  The metric also involves the prominence of authority figures who are targeted.  It's a measure of the strategic element, in other words.  Skill/coordination ranged from 0 to 3.  Here the news is a bit more promising.  The frequency distribution is: 0(72%), 1(22%) 2(4%) and 3(1%).  Well over 2/3rds of attacks did not exhibit any appreciable skill or coordination.  They weren't attempting to play a symphony, they were just making noise.  By this measure the terrorists are either not very ambitious, or their organization has been seriously disrupted, or I'm simply being too tough on them.  I can certainly see an argument for a much more refined measure of skill/coordination, but such an assessment would really demand much better data than are available to me.  Besides, although I have a good strategic sense and am a methodologist by trade, I'm not an expert in counterterrorism.

It is possible in my schema to simultaneously achieve a high score on success/failure with a low score on skill/coordination, or  visa versa.  Operationally the two elements of quality are summed, and are then multiplied by a weighted number reflecting casualties, to create a composite quality/quantity score that I've chosen to call "gain," at least until someone gives me a better term.

The casualties number doesn't account injuries equivalent to deaths, for obvious reasons.  It is a weighted sum where the number of deaths is 10 times more important than injuries.  This weighting seems reasonable in light of the public's reaction to injuries, though I'm open to suggestions.  Essentially the weighted casualties formula is:

Weighted Casualties = Deaths + 0.1*Wounded or Injured.

The formula for Quality is:
Quality = Success or Failure + Skill or Coordination Level Attempted. 

The ultimate formula is then:
Gain = Casualties * Quality. 

Rocket surgery, it's not.

As an example of how I scored these events let's look at the single most devastating terrorist attack in history, so far: 9/11/01.  That attack involved 4 separate coordinated events where the first three achieved their objective, and the fourth did not.  The first three events received a "2" for success/failure and a "3" for skill/coordination.  These are both the highest score possible for each element.  The Shankesville event also received a "3" for the skill/coordination aspired to, but received only a "0" for success/failure, largely as a result of the resourcefulness and courage of ordinary Americans.  The event wasn't a complete failure for the terrorists, because it killed 44 courageous people, but because its main objective wasn't achieved it may have actually contributed more hope than despair on that awful day.

Total "gain" for this single attack, composed of four separate events carried out on the same day (each scored separately), was approximately 15,000, or roughly 5 times the number of people killed.  (I didn't count 9/11 injuries, because I couldn't find a source for that information.)  By way of comparison, the combined gain score for all terrorist events during 2004, or at least those recorded in the NCTC Report, was a little over 8,000.  And that number includes the attack on the school in Beslan, in the Russian province of Ossetia, as well as the Madrid transit attack on 03/11.

Again, I'm open to other scoring suggestions... but the primary drawback of making a highly refined quality assessment is the paucity of detailed information contained in the short narratives.  If there are flaws in the specification some of those will wash out as a result of using the same method for all events, so there'll be a mix of over- and under-estimation of gain.  Consistency is my remedy for imprecision.  (If the distribution of error is approximately random this assumption is more valid than if it's highly skewed, obviously.) 

I felt it valid to assume that an armed attack on a police HQ, or a security bunker, that didn't kill anyone was probably something of a failure, while an attack that created lots of carnage was a "success."  I realize this is a perverse notion of success, but I think I've made reasonable decisions that optimize the potential of the data I had available.  So, without further ado, here's the ranked table for "terrorist gain"--the enemy's best (or worst) performance, depending on how you look at it:

Country Gain Percent
Iraq 2315.2 27.88
Russia 1952.2 23.51
Spain 1906.2 22.96
India 1013.9 12.21
Israel 276.6 3.33
Saudi Arabia 240.4 2.90
Egypt 186 2.24
Afghanistan 103.6 1.25
Indonesia 84.6 1.02
Palestine 54.1 0.65
Bangladesh 26 0.31
Thailand 20.4 0.25
Angola 20 0.24
Sudan 19.7 0.24
Uzbekistan 16 0.19
Turkey 13.6 0.16
Pakistan 9.3 0.11
Philippines 9 0.11
Sri Lanka 7.8 0.09
Venezuela 7.7 0.09
Argentina 4.4 0.05
Serbia 4.4 0.05
Nepal 3 0.04
Ukraine 2.3 0.03
Congo 2.2 0.03
Somalia 2.2 0.03
France 2 0.02
Malaysia 0.4 0.00
Bolivia 0.3 0.00
Total 8303.5 100.00


What Do We Know?

A few caveats.  According to the metric that I've devised, if a kidnapping or abduction occurred, but the abductees were released without injury (or if their fate is unknown), the event contributed nothing to the "gain," because at least one of the two terms in the product (in this case casualties) was zero.  Clearly terrorists probably gained from some of these abductions, either in terms of publicity or ransom.  Plus, it doesn't seem quite accurate to account zero gain from an abduction simply because the fate of the victim isn't known. Worldwide there were 66  kidnap cases with apparently no casualties, 49 of which were in Iraq and 7 in Kashmir.  In fewer than a handful of these was the fate of the victim still in doubt, but it might be worthwhile to modify the metric to include these abductions somehow.  However, doing so would only amplify the significance of Iraq which the current metric already reveals as the front line in the War on Terror, so that modest deficiency in the composite gain measure is not a good reason to reject these findings.

Next, to make any ultimate assessment of how well we're doing in the mis-named "War on Terror" it ought to be obvious that one needs comparable indices to quantify the gains for both sides.  Ignoring the performance of the allies is like looking at the polling data and campaign contributions for only one candidate in a Presidential race, without considering how well his opponent is doing.  But having said that, it's at least possible to get a sense of the price we're paying even if it's not clear what price the enemy has paid, by simply comparing the aggregate gain score with the analogous number for 9/11.  And the price the opponents of terrorism paid in 2004, distributed mostly over a handful of countries, was a little more than half what the US paid in one single day, almost four years ago.  That, at least, gives us some perspective.

Finally, my intention in conducting this analysis is not to suggest that we ignore "the numbers" that Larry Johnson considers important: the raw frequency of attacks per country.  Clearly the frequency of attacks in India/Kashmir is important for several reasons.  For one thing, the perpetrators are almost certainly linked to influences that are well-placed in the intelligence apparatus of an important US ally (Pakistan) who is concurrently engaged in a kind of "lukewarm war" with another US ally (India).  This isn't good news.  For another, it is at least conceivable that the people responsible for many small attacks in one theater could scale up to many large attacks, a process we could call the "malignancy effect."  It is a real potential, but there are reasons why we shouldn't be alarmed about it just yet.

For one thing, the average competency of the attackers in Kashmir isn't very high.  Compared to Iraq, for instance, which has an average gain per attack of 11.5, the average gain in Kashmir is 3.4, against an enemy not nearly as militarily competent as the US.  The "insurgents" in Kashmir would not last long if transplanted to Iraq.  Almost 20% of the events in Kashmir are home invasions, while a significant number of the rest are small scale street attacks.  There are a lot of attacks directed at police in Kashmir, but many of them are unsuccessful, resulting either in no deaths and few injuries, or harm to civilians who might otherwise sympathize with the attackers.  Many of these are grenades tossed or launched that either miss their targets entirely, or do little damage.  Those terrorists engaged in Kashmir, as well as their managers and organizers, are clearly a second or third string team, the members of which would not survive long if transplanted to the primary theater in the War on Terror: Iraq.

In addition, looked at from the strategic perspective "small ball," either in Kashmir or Iraq, while impressive, is not ultimately very successful.  In both cases the totalitarians are arguably losing the fight.  Talks between India and Pakistan over the disposition of Kashmir are more promising than ever, and it's not inconceivable that one might one day be able to honeymoon in the Vale of Kashmir.  (I may actually be holding out for that, on some deep psychological level.  It's an enchanting place, which explains in part why it has always been so contested.)

And in Iraq not only have the activities of the terrorists awakened a certain revulsion in the larger Middle East, but the restraint of the Shi'a has tapped and inspired a latent Arab pride in humanitarian values, and hope for the future of self-governance that has been dormant since the beginning of the Cold War midway through the last century.  The knees of the autocrats aren't sturdy.

But, the war isn't abating.  If anything it's growing more, rather than less, intense, just as did a previous war when Grant made his fateful decision to turn south in pursuit of Lee after the Battle of the Wilderness.  And one can also expect that as "small ball" doesn't achieve their objectives the enemy may very well intend some large scale attacks to recoup, possibly in areas of the world that aren't prepared for the onslaught.  The parade of names that join those of Antietam, Gettysburg, The Bloody Angle, Chateau Thierry, The Argonne, Belleau Wood, Iwo Jima, The Bulge, 9/11 and even Hiroshima and Nagasaki, may not have reached their end.  There isn't much room either for complacency, or despair.

(Cross-posted by Demosophist to Demosophia and Anticipatory Retaliation and The Jawa Report)

Posted by: Demosophist at 01:22 PM | Comments (31) | Add Comment
Post contains 3381 words, total size 43 kb.

1 Is someone only a terrorist if they only attack civilians?

Posted by: actus at May 17, 2005 07:22 PM (f18+F)

2 Is someone only a terrorist if they only attack civilians? No Al Qaeda attacks both, and they're certainly terrorists. However, terrorists aren't always engaged in terrorism. The definition of a terrorist event or attack is an attack on non-combatants or civilians. The gray area is probably how you'd class an attempted assassination of a President or head of state, who is both the Commander-in-Chief and a civil authority. But targeting police, firemen, judges, etc. is generally considered a terrorist act. Most people also consider the attack on the Pentagon a terrorist act, primarily, I think, because it used a civilian transport as the weapon. There's also the matter of perfidy, and that can get fairly dicey. What do you call someone who raises a white flag of surrender in order to throw a grenade at those who accept the surrender? According to the Geneva Accords that's a war crime, but I'm not sure it'd be classed as terrorism. Probably not.

Posted by: Demosophist at May 17, 2005 10:33 PM (d0CtA)

3 "The definition of a terrorist event or attack is an attack on non-combatants or civilians." So in iraq our soldiers are not being attacked by terrorists? ok.

Posted by: actus at May 18, 2005 09:54 AM (Ygl+x)

4 This exchange points up the fact that there is no universally agreed definition of terrorism. Some definitions (including the one the US Department of State uses, last I knew) explicitly absolve the actions of sovereign states while others assert that insurgents are, by definition, not terrorists (that's how Hamas, Palestinian Islamic Jihad, Syria, etc., justify attacks on Israeli civilians). I'd argue for a definition that terrorism is violence threatened or conducted against non-combatants (Geneva Conventions defines this term, as well as principles of proportionality that allow for the reality that some collateral damage will often occur even in the best-planned attack against a legitimate target) for the purpose of influencing political decisions. States don't get a pass, nor do insurgents--if the attack is primarily against non-combatants, or conducted in a manner that ignores the responsibility of combatants to not harm noncombatants, it's terrorism.

Posted by: Jem at May 18, 2005 09:56 AM (vT9Oz)

5 actus: So in iraq our soldiers are not being attacked by terrorists? ok. No, if you read what I said it differentiates between terrorists and terrorist acts. Obviously a terrorist can commit acts that aren't terrorism. They drink tea, for instance. Are they not terrorists because they drink tea? Did you read what I said? Our soldiers are very definitely being attacked by terrorists, even though the attack itself on the military may not be a terrorist act. Can you suss that out, or do you need a Venn diagram or something? Jem: I'd agree with that definition, but there probably is a distinction between a state that commits acts of terror against its own citizens, such a N. Korea or Myanmar (or against Winston Smith in 1984), and one that uses acts of terror against the citizens of other states during a war. One is clearly a means of social control employed by a group that's already in power and attempting to consolidate or expand that power, while the other is a combat strategy designed to demoralize and defeat an "external" enemy. It's also true that totalitarian "insurgencies" practice terror against their own partisans, so in that sense they resemble a terror state.

Posted by: Demosophist at May 18, 2005 02:07 PM (d0CtA)

6 I do agree with the definition also. Those Iraqis attacking our troups inside Iraq, would not necessarily be considered terrorist. But when they start targeting civilian contractors and other Iraqis, they are. A person has the right to defend his country against an invading military force. Even if he is not in the military. (Red Dawn, yahoo). But this should stop once the (invaded) civilian authority has surrender.

Posted by: Butch at May 18, 2005 04:36 PM (Gqhi9)

7 Butch: A person has the right to defend his country against an invading military force. Even if he is not in the military. (Red Dawn, yahoo). But this should stop once the (invaded) civilian authority has surrender. I think you're trying too hard for a universal standard. One doesn't have an obligation to acquiesce simply because the national authority has surrendered, though it does make resistance far more costly. Were the inhabitants of the Warsaw ghetto obligated to surrender, because the Polish authorities had? The Baathists and the Iraqi jihadists aren't evil because they resist. They're evil because their ideology is evil, and because their acts are demonstrably evil, and because they aren't seeking liberation from oppression, but the license to oppress.

Posted by: Demosophist at May 18, 2005 05:49 PM (d0CtA)

8 I guess what my point is, that after a certain point, resistance will eventually become just criminal. There was a Japanesee guy on Guam who evaded capture until last 50's. (Some on other Islands even later than this one.) I can see him resisting in the 40's and maybe early 50's. But by late 50, if he still attack US personnel then he would be just a criminal. Once the gig is up, you need to quit. Now I do think you are not mistaken about the majority of "resistance" fighters in Iraq. I agree most are resisting just to oppress the fellow countrymen.

Posted by: Butch at May 20, 2005 03:33 PM (Gqhi9)

9 Nuke 'em. Saves you time and scares the crap out of every other similar country/organization. Also gives other countries a reason to block you out of the world, therefore creating a brand new propaganda bubble, in which you would live happily until your country goes bust and sells pieces of itself to Canada and original colony ownerlands. Just tell the Iraqis to screw themselves and switch to hydro and ethanol power

Posted by: A Finn at May 22, 2005 01:56 PM (lGolT)

10 Are we talking terrorist attacks or "terrorist" attacks here? It's important in that the Reuters News Agency has not been able to find one example of a single terrorist attack in recents years. So one might say that Bush has nearly suceeded in ridding the world of terrorism. "Terrorism" however, is perhaps a different story. Has the MSM done an environmental impact study on the use of the scare quotes? The extra """"s that are now being used may not be much individually, but in a yearly aggregate total may exceed a ton of toxic ink poisoning our land fills. I shudder at the thought that baby Harp seals could be choking on these unncessessary billions of """"s that now cludder our planet.

Posted by: Charles at May 22, 2005 04:45 PM (wQbc6)

11 It doesn't matter how you define someone, if they are killing innocent people, or our troops, then they must be killed. I don't care what someone's motives are either, violence must be met with catastrophic violence, so that all know what they will get if they mess with us. If Klinton had the balls to deal with Al Qaeda ten years ago, 9/11 never would have happened. Appeasement is for cowards.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at May 22, 2005 05:25 PM (0yYS2)

12 I felt somewhat pleased to see the events of 9/11. It was nice to see the selfrighteous worldpolice get some punishment on its own continent. Temporarily raised bin Laden to the status of great person. But now I'm wishing it never happened, just because of the goddamn media fuss and "war on terrorism".

Posted by: A Finn at May 23, 2005 02:31 AM (cWMi4)

13 A Finn That comment makes me want to punch you in the head. I hope I never meet you.

Posted by: Defense Guy at May 23, 2005 09:29 AM (jPCiN)

14 Defense Guy beats his children.

Posted by: greg at May 23, 2005 10:38 AM (/+dAV)

15 greg agrees with A Finn that 9/11 was pleasing. He is also a filthy liar and probably never even attended college, let alone made it out of high school.

Posted by: Defense Guy at May 23, 2005 10:44 AM (jPCiN)

16 ... and he has not yet stopped beating his wife.

Posted by: Defense Guy at May 23, 2005 10:45 AM (jPCiN)

17 Defense Guy, I have a Ph.D. in Molecular Biology, dumb shit. My dissertation was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, USA. I run a major research laboratory. I hold two patents for a molecular technique that I invented. You're just a corporate bitch, so shut the fuck up.

Posted by: greg at May 23, 2005 12:14 PM (/+dAV)

18 greg You are a filthy liar. No one with those sorts of credentials would buy into the lies that you do everyday. Perhaps you should ask for the money you spent on your education back. You don't know shit about me, nor will you, ever.

Posted by: Defense Guy at May 23, 2005 12:18 PM (jPCiN)

19 ...and you should really stop beating your wife.

Posted by: Defense Guy at May 23, 2005 12:18 PM (jPCiN)

20 Defense Guy, You're a loser. ItÂ’s evident that youÂ’re under 40 years of age. The Army Reserves excepts people up to the age of 40. If youÂ’re so Gung Ho about this war why donÂ’t you join up? Answer: Because youÂ’re a ChickenHawk and you beat your wife and kids.

Posted by: greg at May 23, 2005 12:27 PM (/+dAV)

21 I have a Ph.D. in Molecular Biology, dumb shit. My dissertation was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, USA. I run a major research laboratory. I hold two patents for a molecular technique that I invented. You're just a corporate bitch, so shut the fuck up. Sounds vaguely like "I have a degree! In Science!" (Updated version.) I didn't know Superman Comics granted Ph.D.s in their classified section. An actual, real, bonafide scientist would know how utterly pathetic it is to claim to be something he's not willing to prove he is. Let's have the citation. It's the only thing that'll stop the laughter. By the way, would you send your children to live in a Ba'athist Arab state that harbors and funds terrorists? Or a Theocratic Persian state that does the same? Would you go yourself? Let me guess. I'm probably becoming psychic because of all the spinach I'm eating lately. Er... some longwinded counter-accusation couched to avoid an actual answer. How'd I do?

Posted by: Demosophist at May 23, 2005 12:45 PM (d0CtA)

22 greg Whatever helps you sleep at night buddy. It's clear that you have built an artificial reality for yourself, so I am not surprised that I would fit into it in the way you describe. Am I a ditry jew in your world, wife beater?

Posted by: Defense Guy at May 23, 2005 12:45 PM (jPCiN)

23 Internet resumes, the last refuge of the pimple-faced racist adolescents greg so epitomizes.

Posted by: Robin Roberts at May 23, 2005 02:03 PM (xauGB)

24 Robin, Defense Guy and Demo, Prepare 5 milliliters of 3M potassium chloride and inject it intravenously. IÂ’m serious as a heart attack.

Posted by: greg at May 23, 2005 02:12 PM (/+dAV)

25 thanks greg, but I'll pass. Perhaps your wife will take you up on it in order to escape your madness.

Posted by: Defense Guy at May 23, 2005 03:13 PM (jPCiN)

26 Sure, greg. You claim to have a Ph.D. which matches the fact that your language skills and worldview match a high school dropout. Here is Greg's choice of headgear to protect himself from the aliens who desire his bodily essences.

Posted by: Robin Roberts at May 23, 2005 03:16 PM (xauGB)

27 Robin, Defense Guy, Demo, It occurs to me that you may not know how to make a 5 milliliter solution of 3M KCl. The molecular weight of KCl is 74.56 grams. So, weigh out 1.12 grams of KCl and bring up in a volume of 5 millilters. Then shoot it! All of your problems will be over.

Posted by: greg at May 23, 2005 03:27 PM (/+dAV)

28 Robin desires my bodily essences. But she can't have any. Stick with your diesel powered vibrator Robin.

Posted by: greg at May 23, 2005 03:29 PM (/+dAV)

29 Robin is a womans name? Never knew, doesn't feel like one, guess Batman and Robin were even more gaaaaaaaaaaaaaay than the assumption was before.

Posted by: A Finn at May 25, 2005 04:33 AM (cWMi4)

30 A Finn, the other and higher probability explanation is that greg is a flaming moron.

Posted by: Robin Roberts at May 25, 2005 01:12 PM (xauGB)

31 It is a name for a small bird though... Guess it's one of those names that can be used for both sexes with equal confusion. Or then greg is a flaming moron, either way is fine by me. You decide, I don't want to judge funny people.

Posted by: A Finn at May 25, 2005 02:23 PM (lGolT)

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