Wear a belt: useful for strangling would be hijackers. A heavy buckle is a nice bludgeon, too.
A pack of guitar strings: same as above, but with the added bonus of severing arteries.
Laptop: Screen can be shattered into nice shards. If left in carrying case, makes another nice bludgeon.
Roll of quarters: almost as good as brass knuckles.
1
How about a doormat to wipe his feet on, as he departs England?
Posted by: davec at May 10, 2006 06:58 PM (CcXvt)
2
A rolled-up magazine for jamming into someone's adam's apple is always handy.
Posted by: jason at May 10, 2006 07:31 PM (yZ81L)
3
I carry a large umbrella. Useful in England, in crowds, and for keeping distance between you and an armed assailant. A sealed bottle of whiskey is nice, too.
Posted by: See-dubya at May 10, 2006 07:36 PM (ieyQx)
4
How about Last Gasp Larry as a human shield - you can duct tape his mouth shut and dump him when your done with him.
Posted by: hondo at May 10, 2006 07:38 PM (SeBrl)
5
A flask and sensible shoes. Something you can stomp with.
Posted by: Howie at May 10, 2006 07:39 PM (D3+20)
6
Howie, that sounds more like a night out with Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen Degeneres, and Kim Gandy.
hahahaha
Posted by: Vinnie at May 10, 2006 07:48 PM (/qy9A)
7
Almost any kind of ballpoint pen makes an excellent stabbing weapon, you know when you ask Joe MoHamid for his autograph? Hell just ram that pen thru his temple. Ouch!
Or more elegant and high tech, take a laser pointer along for the ride, some look just like a ball point pen, either way they can blind at close range.
Other ideas include porno magazines. Something that distracts our MoHammids like toe jam does to a dog.
Extra socks, then can be stuffed with previously mentioned rolls of quarters. Excellent club.
Hairspray and a lighter. Makes a great torch.
Walking Cane, its allowed and can be used to beat the fleas out of Mr MoHammid's hair.
Posted by: changehappens at May 10, 2006 08:03 PM (hGibF)
8
The cord from headphones can be used to strangle someone, and the plastic knife and fork from the chicken Cordon Bleu hobby kit hurt like hell when stuck into the eyes.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at May 10, 2006 08:24 PM (0yYS2)
9
A package of Oscar Mayer bacon.
Posted by: a at May 10, 2006 08:37 PM (yHb0A)
10
A stack of "Mohammid Comix". Brazenly reading these will send the meteor worshippers into a rage and blow their cover. They can then be quickly killed with the guitar strings.
Posted by: Richard at May 10, 2006 09:00 PM (7KF8r)
11
Audio recordings of conflicting, odd instructions in Arabic to confuse and disorient attackers.
Posted by: Heroic Dreamer at May 10, 2006 09:03 PM (aH6Zf)
12
Get a can of soda, and if need be you can tear it apart, and use it as a slicing weapon. Also good to use the sharp edge to cut the seat belt off and use it as a poor man's morning star.
ASW
Posted by: Alpha Sierra Whiskey at May 10, 2006 09:04 PM (A0+Ea)
13
Rusty, condoms might make a handy addition. They are not a dual use item, nor recyclable, but are a must when you travel overseas. If you know what I mean. You never know when you might get lucky.
Posted by: jesusland joe at May 10, 2006 09:22 PM (rUyw4)
14
Mrs. Rusty doesn't like you anymore, JJ.
Posted by: Vinnie at May 10, 2006 09:33 PM (/qy9A)
15
The roll of quarters is much closer to brass knuckles if you're wearing at least a couple of rings, 4 rings are better though.
Posted by: owlish at May 10, 2006 10:12 PM (JLwmt)
16
Hondo: Maxie owes me two keyboards
(or is it three? I lost count) Now you owe me one. That was priceless!
Personally I think Rusty would look smashing in a pair of those shoes at bamapachyderm. Do they come in Oxford Brown to match the belt with the big buckle?
Posted by: Oyster at May 11, 2006 05:38 AM (YudAC)
17
There's a Mrs. Rusty. Who knew? But he might get lucky with her. Ok, ditch the condom.
Posted by: jesusland joe at May 11, 2006 06:00 AM (rUyw4)
18
Personally, I travel a lot. I wear socks, good boots, and listen to a 2nd generation iPod, even though I have a Nano. A stretchy belt is good too. Why?
2nd Gen iPod in a sock is one good weapon, each boot is a good thrown stench bomb. Get 'em gagging, and whack 'em up side the head.The stretchy belt makes for a weak slingshot, or is good for hitting enemies that thought they were out of range...
On a side note: Load a few c130's with vats of bacon grease and a few crop dusting parts and make Muslum countries glisten with a nice coat of grease? I suppose that would violate some kind of ethics barrier wouldn't it? How about a nuke with bacon wrapped around it?
Eh. A little extreeme? How about we inject captured terrorists with bacon grease?
Hm.. No fun. Still unethical.
Darn it.
They better be glad we play nice...
Posted by: corporealthud at May 11, 2006 06:23 AM (rVdFA)
19
Simple get cans of soda from the stew and put them in a pillow case ala Sean Penn in Bad Boys. Or purchase a CIA letter opener, it's a carbon fiber knife that can't be detected by metal detectors. I wore one for many years and even when I got pat down because my boots set of the detector it wasn't found. Guitar strings and two nice steel ball point pens for making handy garrotes, Tube sock with a roll of guarters makes and excellent sap. OK enough for now, I don't wnat any one to think that I've done any planning on this before. OK one last one specifically for Muslim terrorists, a string of pork sausages that you can use as a nunchuck.
Posted by: SPO at May 11, 2006 07:03 AM (OZn2O)
20
"...a string of pork sausages that you can use as a nunchuck."
Wow, great idea, just like a cross works against vampires. I like it. Now I gotta go get some link sausages. To have on hand just in case.
Posted by: jesusland joe at May 11, 2006 09:18 AM (rUyw4)
21
Pork rinds. Paper clips - straighten out to nice shives. Car keys between fingers. Put car rings on one of those coiled rubber keyrings - they stretch out into a nice whip-lash weapon with the keys at the end. If you had as many keys as I, you'd have a serious weapon. ;-) A few quarters or dimes sharpened into fine cutting at the edges - mixed in with other change their virtually undetectable. Ball point pens could always have ink replaced with some nasty concoction and wouldn't be detected - take cap off, stab and enjoy their cries of pain. Or better yet, a fountain pen - inkwell painted black on the inside filled to disguise noxious chems - instant projectile weapon. The possiblities are, unfortunately, are limitless. Terrorists could easily get crap on board.
Posted by: Ansar al-Kufir at May 11, 2006 07:04 PM (y7gpG)
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