May 25, 2006

Root Cause of Terrorism: Small Penises

"Pimp Daddy", and Iraqi detainee at Guantanamo Bay, claims that the reason he joined the jihad was because he had a very very very very small penis. I. Kid. You. Not.

After swearing up and down that he's not gay (again, I kid you not), Ali claims because of his small penis size, he wasn't able to get married. Right, Ali, we believe you're not gay. Anyway, the small penis induced lack of poon apparently got to Ali's head, and so he up and joined the Taliban.

Nope. Nothing gay about the Taliban.

See Dubya, always fascinated with small wangs, thinks that maybe if we were to give one of those new bionic penises grown in rabbits that I wrote about earlier to Osama bin Laden, that this whole "war on terror" thing might be solved immediately.

I think it's going to take a lot more than a rabbit sized penis to end this thing. But until the horse-grown artificial penis becomes a reality, we'll have to stick to good ol' cruise missiles, bunker busters, and MOABs. More evidence of the news following South Park:

osama_small_penis_south_park.jpg

Posted by: Rusty at 01:44 PM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
Post contains 197 words, total size 2 kb.

1 So ... no inspecting of faces before arranged marriages, only genitilia?

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at May 25, 2006 01:52 PM (FCC6c)

2 Ali, that is bullshit. Anyone with a small penis can get married. You simply need to do what peope with small hands have had to do for centuries. LOWER YOUR STANDARDS!

Posted by: Brad at May 25, 2006 01:54 PM (3OPZt)

3 But, after you lower your standards to "camel", but still can't get any action, then what?

Posted by: Rusty at May 25, 2006 02:10 PM (JQjhA)

4 then back to the sheep ...

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at May 25, 2006 02:13 PM (FCC6c)

5 Blow something up?

Posted by: Brad at May 25, 2006 02:15 PM (3OPZt)

6 Maybe this is why Mohammed was a pedophile? All adult females were too big for his minute wienie?

Posted by: Art at May 25, 2006 02:22 PM (bfXZK)

7 Rusty, do you have sphincter incontinence?

Posted by: Sword of Monotheism at May 25, 2006 02:24 PM (fXkLc)

8 The whole islamic culture has terrible hang-ups about sex. It is all about covering up everything when really all they want to do is shag themselves silly. The small penis thing is indeed BS, the men have all the power in their religion so he could get a wife and she'd just have to put up with him tickling her. If she was a virgin she would be none the wiser anyway.

Posted by: Jester at May 25, 2006 03:21 PM (TuAMG)

9 The head of the Marines, Commandant Hagee, is going to Iraq to remind the marines that killing innocents isn't allowed. I guess those stories were true. Rusty, Your, "Why We Went to War...", page is on the fritz.

Posted by: Greg at May 25, 2006 04:48 PM (q5wwn)

10 i think i will take franchise for MAgic Grow Penis pills and all those stuff for Islamic countries... anyways ali is from Afgan or iraq.. Have to plan my new biz... use magic row... & u will get from rabit to horse size

Posted by: perfektm at May 25, 2006 06:25 PM (pkc0N)

11 Back to the subject - hey Greg! what's your excuse ... you were in the pool?

Posted by: hondo at May 25, 2006 06:45 PM (DaNq1)

12 Sword of Homo, How can you get close to your false moon god Allah if you have bacon in you mouth? ROPMA

Posted by: Leatherneck at May 25, 2006 07:09 PM (D2g/j)

13 It is my professional opinion that Hondo suffers from penis envy.

Posted by: Sigmund Freud at May 25, 2006 07:59 PM (q5wwn)

14 I like how greg tries to deflect the thread to something else...

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at May 26, 2006 05:51 AM (0yYS2)

15 So true maxie ... but at least he made a lame attempt to get back in topic.

Posted by: hondo at May 26, 2006 03:09 PM (k/PLS)

16 Somehow I get the feeling that he makes many lame attempts...

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at May 27, 2006 07:06 AM (0yYS2)

17 maxie - I think the operative word is flacid.

Posted by: hondo at May 27, 2006 10:53 AM (k/PLS)

18 I think that greg can't get excited about a girl unless she's wearing a George Bush mask and lying on an Israeli flag.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at May 27, 2006 03:42 PM (0yYS2)

19 In my personal experience, Arab men are usually very well endowed. Sounds to me like this guy just got the short end of the stick, oun intended.

Posted by: Anonymous in Sacramento at June 06, 2006 03:09 PM (Nl6i7)

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