Caption this photo of the return of Qetzocoatl to Iran. Winners announced next week.
1
Duck, Duck, Duck .... Goose!
Posted by: BumperStickerist at April 30, 2005 06:33 PM (/F7ww)
2
No, honestly, who called for the proctologist?
Posted by: Amicus Curiae at April 30, 2005 06:44 PM (KHJOv)
3
Ah, here it is, "How to remove velcro from hair."
Posted by: Alan Kellogg at April 30, 2005 07:23 PM (GS74O)
4
Proctologists are notorious for overbooking appointments.
Posted by: DWC at April 30, 2005 07:45 PM (xT77+)
5
No wonder the Iranians are mad. They wanted a Quetzalcoatl and they only got a Qetzocoatl. Now, down to business:
"It quickly became obvious which bartender at the Jonestown
Coyote Ugly wasn't taking shots along with everyone else."
Posted by: Confederate Yankee at April 30, 2005 07:52 PM (MxN1F)
6
So I guess you guys heard that I won the lottery?
Posted by: Enlightenment Reactionary at April 30, 2005 08:20 PM (fnVZr)
7
Ok, I can't beat that one BSist. Duck Duck Goose... Heh!
Posted by: caltechgirl at April 30, 2005 08:34 PM (EtZVy)
Posted by: Anachronda at April 30, 2005 09:39 PM (yxavQ)
9
You guys can stop looking for my contacts lense, I just remembered I'm wearing glasses.
Posted by: BSKB at May 01, 2005 02:41 AM (c/7WG)
10
With all these Easter eggs in here, there's got to be a Bunny Rabbit somewhere.
Posted by: Bubbe at May 01, 2005 04:05 AM (1/Gkk)
11
Proctologists... almost did a spit take on that one.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at May 01, 2005 08:30 AM (0yYS2)
12
Mr. K, having heard enough bullshit for one day, leaves while blog minions pay tribute to the heretofore unseen, anonymous Rusty.
Posted by: Mr. K at May 01, 2005 08:55 AM (aDKh3)
13
"Ufffffffffffff! Someone 'cut' a 'Silent But Deadly'!"
Posted by: david drake at May 01, 2005 09:36 AM (7iWPj)
Posted by: RicardoVerde at May 01, 2005 02:10 PM (3DOby)
15
I love this time of day, so little foot-traffic.
Posted by: Gekkobear at May 01, 2005 02:25 PM (XWr9N)
16
While doing a final walkthrough for the "Living Homemade Potholder", Mr. Smith pointed out those participants that didn't follow the alternating color patterns.
Posted by: Kit Jarrell at May 01, 2005 08:52 PM (gyFpw)
17
Is there a lawyer in the house?
Posted by: Editor at May 01, 2005 10:45 PM (WUwLB)
18
Salman Rushdie, you've just won $50,000 and apparently FEAR IS NOT A FACTOR for you!
Posted by: Editor at May 01, 2005 10:53 PM (WUwLB)
19
"What the hell? I was just in an elevator in downtown Manhattan! Ok, play it calm and read the paper like nothing strange happened. Breathe in breathe out. That stench doesn't exist. The doors will open very soon and your acid flashback will stop....why aren't they opening?!"
Posted by: Tom at May 01, 2005 10:55 PM (UCGFN)
20
An Iranian version of Simon says: Allah says ... kneal & bow your head ... Allah says ... American's are all infedels. Touch your toes. Allah did not say touch your toes, lashes for all of you.
Posted by: Red at May 02, 2005 01:03 AM (p1NUs)
21
Okay! Let's do the Hokey Pokey!
You put your butt in - You take your butt out - You put your butt in - And you shake it all about.
Posted by: Oyster at May 02, 2005 07:05 AM (YudAC)
22
" Ohhhh man, I gotta Crap soooooo baaaaad"
Posted by: Filthy Allah at May 02, 2005 08:10 AM (yBHNA)
23
A Jew drops a penny on a Tel Aviv street corner.
Posted by: greg at May 02, 2005 09:18 AM (/+dAV)
24
and suddenly George Lucas realizes to his embarrassment that this indeed was NOT Star Wars convention. Quickly he consults the convention map and realizes that this is the Ostrich Impersonators Convention in the next hall over.
Posted by: lookitup at May 02, 2005 11:05 AM (+QIvh)
25
Get a grip, people ! It's only Bruce Springsteen !!
Posted by: Michael Marler at May 02, 2005 12:08 PM (ywZa8)
26
Thank God I didn't drink the Kool Aid!
Posted by: Laura at May 02, 2005 12:16 PM (L3PPO)
27
Is your anti-perspirant still working at the end of the day? If not, then try new Right Guard.
Posted by: Graeme at May 02, 2005 12:20 PM (dafKi)
28
Okay, bend over everyone, I'm checking for roids!
Posted by: Laura at May 02, 2005 02:40 PM (L3PPO)
29
"What's the matter with you people? Do you all have your heads up your asses...oh, wait...never mind."
Posted by: Venom at May 02, 2005 03:51 PM (dbxVM)
30
Strolling through the mosque, Omar hums "I like big butts and I can not lie, those other mullahs can't deny..."
Posted by: Eric at May 02, 2005 05:44 PM (lK7Sh)
31
Repeat after me: Eeeny, meeny, miney Mo.
Posted by: Bubbe at May 02, 2005 05:49 PM (1/Gkk)
32
A Nation-of-Islam supplied body guard for Michael Jackson had to leave the room after Jackson's comment, "Oh my god - talk about weapons of mass distraction" was too much for him.
Posted by: Editor at May 02, 2005 06:47 PM (adpJH)
33
And remember, whoever finds my Barry Manilow tie clip gets a sturdy goat and a one month supply of chick peas.
Posted by: Buckley F. Williams at May 02, 2005 08:00 PM (O2fD/)
34
At the Airport in Detroit, Abu Musab Ali-Mustafa Bakalakadaka leaves a new prayer terminal for Muslims to catch his one-way flight to Ontario. The "prayer terminal" is the latest initiative by the TSA to improve airline security and speed up the entire process for all passengers. Muslims can check in at the front counter, proceed to the prayer room where they wait for their flight number to be called for boarding and head directly to the gate without the hassle of security checks. Said one TSA employee, "Yeah, dis is way coo' dawg. We don't have to worry 'bout gettin' sued for ratio profi'in'."
Posted by: Editor at May 02, 2005 09:44 PM (WUwLB)
35
Straightline winds blew down hundreds of acres of extremist birch trees this weekend, leaving a lone, open-minded poplar.
Posted by: Brian Blazevic at May 03, 2005 05:55 AM (b2Y3g)
36
And like mans best friend, let us bend over and sniff each others
ass.
Posted by: Butch at May 03, 2005 02:22 PM (Gqhi9)
37
One more.
"And Simon says sniff the ass in front of you"
Posted by: Butch at May 03, 2005 02:34 PM (Gqhi9)
38
Program on the emergence of civilization.
"14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind.
None from the sub-Saharan African continent.
13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa."
Favor.
And disfavor.
They point out AfricansÂ’ attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it's applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization.
The roots of racism are not of this earth.
Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals, so this nulified diversity of life claims on sub-continental Africa, zebras being a fine example.
god is a computer
And we're all on auto-pilot.
Organizational Heirarchy
Heirarchical order, from top to bottom:
1. MUCK - perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as "god"
2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management –
3. Mafia (evil) aliens - runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere ("On planets where they approved evil.")
Then we come to terrestrial management:
4. Chinese/egyptians - this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds
5. Romans - they answer to the egyptians
6. Mafia - the real-world interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality
7. Jews, corporation, women, politician - Evidence exisits to suggest mafia management over all these groups.
Survival of the favored.
Posted by: the roots of racism at August 16, 2005 04:46 PM (1cUO9)
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