October 28, 2004

New Corroboration of Kerry "Caca" Claims (posted by Demosophist)[Humor]

Ironically, reported by Right Wing News:

ANALYSIS: IRAQ EXPLOSIVES EASILY MOVED BY 'WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN' CONTESTANTS

A new scientific study by the French Ministry of Sport and Jejune Ennui reported today that the 380 tons of high explosives missing from an Iraqi site "could have easily been looted by a team of specially trained burly Scandanavian strongmen with 'roid rage.'"

In a controlled experiment broadcast at 3AM on ESPN-6, researchers determined that a team of 12 Euro champions were able to move over 415 tons of explosives, packaged as granite boulders and Volvo semi trucks, in less than 20 minutes with commercial breaks.

The study casts new doubt on NBC News claims that deadly RDX explosives had already been moved by the time US soldiers arrived at a suspected site in Al-Qaqaa, and that removing the materials would have been difficult with a US military presence.

"Ya yiminy, Olaf move the heavy bombs," said Icelandic team member Olaf Magnussnnarddsson, who suffered a minor hernia and a burst temple vein in the experiment.

An independent study by physicists at FermiLab reached similar conclusions, noting that "extrapolating from the hit 1961 single 'Sixteen Tons,' the entire arms cache could have been lifted in only 23.8 Tennessee Ernie Ford-Days, with a minor increase in debt to the Company store."

"Ya yimminy?" That's Icelandic? Something's rotten in the state of Denmark. That definitely sounds Swedish/Yiddish to me.

Ed note: This was an excerpt picked up by RWN but was originally posted by Iowahawk.

Posted by: Demosophist at 11:19 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 267 words, total size 2 kb.

1 KSTP-TV in Minneapolis had an embedded reporter & video guy with the 101st and they have actual video footage of the explosives that were at Al-Qaqaa when the 101st moved through: http://www.kstp.com/article/stories/S3723.html?cat=1

Posted by: News Watcher at October 28, 2004 12:24 PM (eKbzl)

2 LOL!

Posted by: Ricky V at October 28, 2004 12:27 PM (AHaCg)

3 Newswatcher, thanks for the link.

Posted by: Demosophist at October 28, 2004 01:22 PM (OtR16)

4 Newswatcher: I didn't see any UN seals on the containers. Did you?

Posted by: Demosophist at October 28, 2004 01:38 PM (OtR16)

5 Just out of curiousity, what would UN seals prove?

Posted by: LMAO at October 28, 2004 01:44 PM (p5xDI)

6 Rusty: Thanks for adding the [Humor] note. I just realized that the term "roid rage" doesn't actually refer to hemorrhoids. I mean I know they can get you pretty pissed off, but how do you lift 380 tons with that affliction?

Posted by: Demosophist at October 28, 2004 02:10 PM (OtR16)

7 Newswatcher: Just out of curiousity, what would UN seals prove? The UN seals identify the high explosives everyone is fixated upon, because they (the IAEA) placed the seals when the stuff was originally identified back in 1995. If the seals aren't there, then neither are the explosives. If the seals are there, as they were back in March, 2003, then it's still possible that the explosives had been moved because the UN didn't break the seals to check the containing bunkers, and apparently (according to UN documents) it would be possible to remove the explosives through air ducts, without disturbing the seals.

Posted by: Demosophist at October 28, 2004 08:01 PM (OtR16)

8 Demosophist: Thanks for the info.

Posted by: LMAO at October 29, 2004 09:33 AM (p5xDI)

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