October 28, 2004
ANALYSIS: IRAQ EXPLOSIVES EASILY MOVED BY 'WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN' CONTESTANTSA new scientific study by the French Ministry of Sport and Jejune Ennui reported today that the 380 tons of high explosives missing from an Iraqi site "could have easily been looted by a team of specially trained burly Scandanavian strongmen with 'roid rage.'"
In a controlled experiment broadcast at 3AM on ESPN-6, researchers determined that a team of 12 Euro champions were able to move over 415 tons of explosives, packaged as granite boulders and Volvo semi trucks, in less than 20 minutes with commercial breaks."Ya yimminy?" That's Icelandic? Something's rotten in the state of Denmark. That definitely sounds Swedish/Yiddish to me.The study casts new doubt on NBC News claims that deadly RDX explosives had already been moved by the time US soldiers arrived at a suspected site in Al-Qaqaa, and that removing the materials would have been difficult with a US military presence.
"Ya yiminy, Olaf move the heavy bombs," said Icelandic team member Olaf Magnussnnarddsson, who suffered a minor hernia and a burst temple vein in the experiment.
An independent study by physicists at FermiLab reached similar conclusions, noting that "extrapolating from the hit 1961 single 'Sixteen Tons,' the entire arms cache could have been lifted in only 23.8 Tennessee Ernie Ford-Days, with a minor increase in debt to the Company store."
Ed note: This was an excerpt picked up by RWN but was originally posted by Iowahawk.
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