December 02, 2004

Jawa Endorsements for 2004 Weblog Awards

Let me just clarify one thing from the last post: I'm not going to vote for myself, and you shouldn't either.

I know I nominated me, but now that I see the competition I'm outclassed.

Vote for Bill at INDC, he's a funnier than me and has done more important work. And despite rumors (started by me) to the contrary, he is not gay.

Or vote for Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (better site design and more dedicated), Jane from Armies of Liberation (actually gets published in the Arab media so more impact), or Preston at Six Meat Buffet (who's hot dog thingy is awesome-o).

Don't under any circumstances vote for NRO's Kerry Spot. I mean, is that really a blog? Jonah Goldberg is a talented writer and does important work, but he's not a blogger. Maybe if he'd throw me a link......

Other categories? more...

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You There! Vote! or Whatever!

Not only should you vote, you should vote early, often, and fraudulently, if possible. We here are going to save you some of the difficult steps of actually choosing who to vote for in a few, randomly selected, but terribly important categories:

Vote for My Pet Jawa for Best New Blog (Established 2004).

Vote for Ace O' Spades for Best of the Top 100 Blogs.

Vote for Anticipatory Retaliation for Best of the Top 1750 - 2500 Blogs.

And perhaps most importantly... Vote for Munuviana for Best Online Community.

Thank you for your participation in this fine democracy.

(Simultaneously launched by Bravo Romeo Delta from Anticipatory Retaliation, Demosophist, The Jawa Picayune)

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Gun-Shy In the Cut

by Demosophist

I'm pretty much down on Hollywierd these days, although I think the new generation coming up is going to be considerably different from their predecessors. And I'd heard that the movie with Meg Ryan and Kevin Bacon called In the Cut was a little strange. If I weren't profoundly and clinically attracted to Meg Ryan I'd have switched the channel early on, but instead I just got drawn in by the unconventional image of her. (My mother doesn't understand why I like Meg. Mothers just don't understand these things, by definition.) more...

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Please Issue a Fatwa Against Me

It has been far too long since I received a death threat from a member of the Religion of Peace. So in the spirit of free speech, a concept that is uniquely part of Western secularism, I offer the following. Have I reminded you all lately that the penalty for blasphemy in Islam is very explicit? Death.

There is no God named Allah, and Muhammed is not a Prophet.

Via Robert Spencer this UPI article:

Geert Wilders is a marked man. Ever since the slaying of Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh on Nov. 2, the controversial anti-Islam politician has been living in fear for his life. He has had 20 to 30 death threats -- including one offering 72 virgins in paradise to any Muslim who beheads him....Like Pim Fortuyn, the openly gay former columnist who rocked Holland's cozy political establishment with his anti-immigration rhetoric before he was gunned down in May 2002, Wilders believes Islam is a "backward religion" that has not gone through the same reformation as Christianity or Judaism and makes no separation between divine and earthly powers. "The political culture of Islam is retarded, and we should keep it as far away from us as possible. It is not our culture and religion, so it should not become dominant in the Netherlands or Europe."
Ooh, I like that last line.

Islam is retarded.

You offended yet? Just wait, I'm just warming up.

I'm burning a copy of the Koran right now. I put the fire out by pissing on it.

BBC:

In October, a Pakistani man was sentenced to life imprisonment for burning a copy of the Koran under the same laws.
Whew, good thing that the Pakis have moderated their stance on killing blasphemers.

Muhammed was a child molester. He also liked to take it up the ass.

Ibid:

Iqbal Ahmad, a member of the Ahmediya community, was found guilty of being disrespectful to the Prophet Muhammad in a mosque near Faisalabad....
Q: If the Muhammed hadn't sought out all those infidels to murder and rape, would Allah have sent the infidels to Muhammed?

Persian Journal:

...a UK-based Iranian exile TV presenter whose inflammatory broadcasts insulting Islam have provoked religious hardliners in Iran to call openly for his murder...."The firing of a bullet into his damned and blasphemous head is an incontestable necessity, and how cherished is the emissary of that bullet," Hossein Shariatmadari, editor-in-chief of the hardline Kayhan daily, said in an editorial.
Q. Why do Islamist schools alternate Sex Education classes with Drivers Ed.?

A. They only have one camel.

From Hamas' official website:

As a result of the fact that those Muslims who adhere to the ways of the Islamic Resistance Movement spread all over the world, rally support for it and its stands, strive towards enhancing its struggle, for the encouragement of its Jihad, and strive for its victory, the Movement is a universal one.....This is the status [of the land] in Islamic Sharia (law), and the same goes for all lands conquered by Muslims by force, during the times of (Islamic) conquests (eg, Israel, Spain, parts of Southeastern Europe, etc), and made thereby Waqf lands upon their conquest, for all generations of Muslims until the Day of Resurrection.
Take my Muslim wife...please! Oh, and my sons, and my daughters. Hell, Allah, take them all.

MEMRI TV:

"I am prepared to sacrifice my life. All I want is martyrdom. I'm willing for all my children to become martyrs. May my husband also become a martyr, and Allah willing, may I die as a martyr."
What? No freaking fatwa yet? Not even a death threat or two?

Q: What did Muhammed's navy and camels have in common?

A: They're both full of Mujahadin seamen

Lawyer R. Moszkowicz has demanded on behalf of a group of Muslims a ban on the release of a continuation of the movie 'Submission' by parliamentary representative of the V.V.D. Ayaan Hirsi Ali and the murdered moviemaker Theo van Gogh....

These Muslims also want the judge to forbid Hirsi Ali from giving her opinion on Islam in a hurtful, aggrieving or blasphemous way in the future.

One of Muhammed's 72 virgins laughs when he whips it out.

"Who do you expect to please with that little thing?" she says.

"Me!"

PolitInfo:

Experts on regional militant groups say there is compelling circumstantial evidence that Bashir knows more about terrorism than he admits. They note that many of the men so far convicted of the (Bali and Marriott) bombings were graduates of the Islamic school he founded and ran.
An Imam and Kofi Annan walk down the street and see a little boy. The Imam says "lets screw him" and Annan says "out of what?"

Yahoo news on ICRC claims of torture (torture defined by the ICRC as prostitutes taunting prisoners) at Gitmo:

on at least seven known instances, they are people who, upon release from Gitmo, have immediately returned to terrorism — including the kidnapping and beheading of a Chinese citizen on the Pakistan-Afghan border.
Q-- What's the difference between a Christian blow-up doll and a Muslim blow-up doll?

A-- The Muslim one blows itself up.

NRO:

James Mollen, 48, cheerfully spent 16 months improving IraqÂ’s beleaguered schools and linking some to the Internet. Nonetheless, a Zarqawi-tied assassin fatally shot Mollen in the head as he drove through Baghdad November 24.
Q: What do you call a Muslim that shags sheep (Muhammed's other favorite past time)?

A: Ramalam

Ibid:

The Headquarters for Commemorating Martyrs of the Global Islamic Movement (HCMGIM) recently let 300 applicants choose among preparing for suicide attacks on U.S. soldiers in Iraq, similar assaults in Israel, or assassination attempts on Salman Rushdie, the British author of The Satanic Verses against whom the late Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini issued a 1989 fatwa.
Let the hate mail begin!!

*I don't really hate Muslims. I apologize for the Muslim jokes above, they were insensitive, stupid, etc. But I do hate any social system that responds to the above offensive material by resorting to force or coersion. Inasmuch as most of the above would get me either killed or put in prison in the Islamic world----well, I can only say this says something about the underlying philosophy which would breed such intolerance. Tolerance is not about loving or accepting something, it is about allowing that which you disagree with to be done. If even moderate Sharia law would prohibit me saying any of the above, than it is an oppressive legal system.

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December 01, 2004

Body of 'Western' Woman Found in Fallujah not Margaret Hassan

Reuters:

Dental records have proved that the body of a Western woman found in Iraq is not that of hostage Margaret Hassan but London still thinks she is probably dead, the Foreign Office says.

"We still believe she is probably dead," a Foreign Office spokesman said on Wednesday. "We are no further forward in our conclusions."...

U.S. marines found the mutilated body of a Western woman in Fallujah last month during an assault on rebels in the city but the Foreign Office said dental records had proved the body not to be that of Hassan.

As I noted on the day the body was found:
Let me just add that this is not a slam-dunk identification. The Islamist terrorists who are behind this murder could just as easily have killed an Iraqi woman for dying her hair blonde.
The terrorists in Fallujah had instituted a Talliban like code. I find it easy to believe they would murder any one who appeared to look too Western.

The Prime Minister of Australia had confided to the press that he had information which verified the body as that of Mrs. Hassan. He later retracted that statement.

Chad at In the Bullpen has some interesting speculation on this. Digger and Interested Participant (both of whom tipped me to the story) as well, although I wouldn't make too much of Hassan's husband believing she is alive. The fact that al Jazeera did not air the video speaks volumes as to it's authenticity. Margaret Hassan is dead.

Others: ISOU, Backcountry Conservative, Sparse Matrix, Slant Point

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Jawa Report Ripped Off (But who cares--America F**k Yeah!!)

Finally a video to go with the theme song for Team America: World Police (the funniest movie ever made) via Professor Chaos who I think must have seen the link at Ace of Spades.

The video can be seen here but is definitely not safe for work and has about half a second of porn spliced into it in true Tyler Durden fashion.

How did they rip me off? Notice the Tusken Raider metaphor spliced into the video? That.

I have a feeling Russ B. is old school Pet Jawa, maybe through mutual friend Cooper. Either that or warped minds just think alike when ripping off South Park metaphors. Besides, Dr. Leopold Stotch reminds me that I didn't call patent, and if I had tried to call it evil George Lucas would have sicked his minion lawyers on me. Of course, from the looks of the rest of his page Russ just doesn't get Team America: World Police. Not one bit.

In any event the video is pure evil genius.

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In Your Face Andrew Sullivan!!

Did you know that The Jawa Report is bigger than Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish? It's true. At least according to Dan the Carnivorous Conservative's who argues that a better method for measuring blog success it by total daily hours of readership. While Dan should be made aware that the TTLB Ecosystem has been having a few issues as of late (NZ Bear is already on the case), and thus the initial numbers he's using may be off, I think the overall gist of his method is sound. And by 'sound' I mean highly inflates the importance of my blog while deflating the importance of my rivals!(Note from Minitru: all methodological problems in contradiction to objective goals of the Party should go unreported.)

His method is this:

take the average number of daily visits times the number of seconds per visit. That gives you total viewing time in seconds. Dividing that by 60 yields minutes and dividing by 60 again gives you hours.
So using that method how does My Pet Jawa do? Look for yourself (all the numbers taken from Dan, except those in italics which I ran):

KOS 399.07
Drudge Retort 335.05
Instapundit 228.77
LGF 211.68
Protein Wisdom 169.39
Wonkette 162.89
Winds of Change 155.02
Eschaton 141.27
Volokh 135.02
Captains Quarters 127.72
Wizbang 116.26
Belmont Club 113.63
ACE 112.97
The Jawa Report 112.63
NZ Bear's TTLB 89.29
Outside the Beltway 63.6
INDC 58.00
Hewitt 57.44
AsmallVictory 56.49
Powerline 44.55
Andrew Sullivan 44.14
The Politburo Diktat 43.66 (watch out AS!!)
Flea 41.12 (in the Spirit of Male Objectification Week Flea is on AS's rear)
Laurence Simon 28.16
Llama Butchers 21.76 (ouch!!)

I have no problem with Goldstein beating me [even if it takes me, like, five minutes before I really get any of Jeff's posts], and I'm tickled pink to be right up there with fellow mu.nu domain buddy Ace (who, BTW, is doing nothing wrong according to this method), but what the hell is Wonkette doing beating any of us!! Where is the justice in that? How much time can a guy really spend on her site after doing a Google search for Jessica Cutler anal sex?

Of course, the consolation is that Andrew Sullivan, according to this metric, is hardly read at all. It's the small things, really, that make life worthwhile.

Alas I'm afraid that Bill will not like this, not one bit! And the Butchers?? Where are the Butchers!!!!

Alas, as I was parousing the old blogroll in search of victims for this post I found a number of blogs that:

a) don't use Site Meter (probably because it is notorious for being wrong and underestimating hits)

b) don't allow Site Meter to publish their data publicly (probably because they are ashamed of the number of hits they get) or

c) allow Site Meter to publish their data publicly (but should get a clue from group 'b' above and hide their info--I didn't include a lot of those on my regular read list because I didn't want the word to get out that some of you get, like, 50 hits a day--so don't be offended that I left you out)

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Remembering the Forgotten American Hostages in Iraq

Check homepage for more information on recent hostage takings in Iraq.

UPDATE 4/13/05: Jeffrey Ake taken hostage 4/10/05 in Baghdad. Al Jazeera airs video on 4/13/05. Ake was a civilian contractor working on a reconstruction project in Iraq. More information here.

Roy Hallum, civillian contractor, taken hostage on Nov. 1st. Nothing in MSM about his capture or whereabouts. A friend of his left a comment today and reports that the correct spelling of his name was not 'Hallun' as had been reporter in the Filipino media, but is "Roy A. Hallums". The last 'Butch' heard from Roy he was in Amman Jordan working for the Saudi Arabian Trading and Construction Company (SATCO). In an e-mail sent to Butch last July, Roy mentioned he might be headed to Iraq soon. Any news about Roy would be welcomed by his friends and family. Neither the Pentagon nor SATCO has been forthcoming with information. Roy was kidnapped with several Iraqis, a Nepalese, and a Fillipino man all of whom have been released. The Phillipine government now confirms negotiating with the terrorists for Robert Tarongoy's freedom, something the Pentagon had warned would could be dangerous to the welfare of other hostages being held in Iraq..

Dean Sadek was working at the Baghdad airport as a civillian contractor when he was abducted from his home. It's not clear the exact date he was abducted, but al Jazeera showed a videotape released by the terrorist 1920 Brigades organization showing Sadek on Nov. 11th. More on Dean Sadek's biography can be found in this story. Dean Sadek's ex-sister-in-law left this comment saying Dean:

is a kind, giving individual who loves his two sons dearly. I'm hoping by he being of Lebanese descent that it would be in his favor. ...Why is he there? He is there to help the good people... If he loses his life he would be one more of the heroes to win freedom for others. I am totally devasted everyday not knowing what will happen to him besides his immediate family and children. My prayers are with him and the others daily fighting for freedom of others.
Our prayers are with Dean Sadek and his family too.

Spc. Matt "Keith" Maupin, missing since April 9th when his convoy was attacked outside of Baghdad. Reportedly executed on video but the original video was never made publicly available and the al Jazeera footage shown was unclear. A recent interview with his family suggests Maupin may be alive--whereabouts unknown.

Tim Bell and Bill Bradley were truck drivers for Halliburton. They disappeared after their convoy was attacked west of Baghdad on April 9th. According to this Houston Chronicle article:

The Army has conducted an investigation into the ambush, but the report is classified. Pentagon officials refused to discuss its contents, directing questions to Halliburton. The company referred questions back to the Pentagon.

"We have done everything in our power to find information and found that we are hitting a brick wall," Bradley's family wrote in an e-mail to the Houston Chronicle.

"We are crushed."

It is unclear how many other American hostages are still being held or are missing in Iraq. The Pentagon has been tightlipped about non-military casualties leaving it to private companies to choose whether to release information to the public or not. Any information from readers would be appreciated by myself and their friends and families.

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Fallujah War-Crimes Slideshow

Last week we reported that the IMEF & MNC-I EFFECTS Exploitation Team had created a Power-Point slideshow documenting war crimes committed in Fallujah by the Jihadis there--a slideshow forwarded to me by John Donovan. Because of the size of the file I was unable to post most of the pictures here and viewing each slide at John Donovan's photo site has been slow. Digger, Chad, Baghdad Dweller, Beth, and others also put up some of the images, but not all. I must have sent the complete slideshow to 30 or more people who requested it and the offer still stands, just e-mail me.

Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs has been kind enough to create an online slideshow here. The slideshow is automatic and kicks butt. If you haven't already seen the slides, please check them out. The slides document the attrocities and war crimes committed by our enemies, but they are safe for work. If you have already seen them, please help get the word out by forwarding the link to your friends. If you are a blogger please link to the page created by Charles here. This deserves front page coverage from the MSM. Let's put a little pajama power behind this!

Here is a sample image from the slideshow along with two vidcaps I took from a beheading video documenting the connection between the 'insurgents' and terrorists:


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Prayers

Blogchild Brian B. asks that you keep his aunt in your prayers. She will undergo surgery tomorrow.

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